


Cruel To Be Kind

by Comet96



Category: Peaky Blinders (TV)
Genre: F/M, Marriage, Pregnancy, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-08
Updated: 2018-05-13
Packaged: 2018-09-22 23:38:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 22
Words: 76,515
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9630047
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Comet96/pseuds/Comet96
Summary: Elsie O'Connell, a young redhead from two different worlds. Weeks after the war ends, she's thrown into a world of crime, passion and conflict, all thanks to Thomas Shelby. He thinks she's too young, too naive and too soft to be in his world. Elsie may be all those things in Tommy's eyes but she's from a gypsy family and she knows how to fight. Tommy/OC





	1. The Blood That Seeps

**This is a Tommy/OC story because I couldn't and I mean I could NOT stand Grace. I really, really hate her.**

**For the sake of my story - it will start a couple of weeks after the first world war ended. I will also be changing the timeline of the story - so the plot that happens in the TV show will happen but later on in the year (it will be obvious with all the changes so please bear with me).**

**This story starts late November/early December of 1918 - Please enjoy the story xx**

**Comet96 xx**

* * *

**I'm currently editing this piece of work - when I mean editing, I mean I'll be adapting the story and plot, and I will be checking for grammar and spelling mistakes, but I may miss some as my main focus is on shaping the story so it flows well before I continue adding more chapters. I am sorry if it takes a while, but I do hope you'll all be patient with me.**

**I would recommend re-reading each new edited chapter as there may be changes that would fit in with future chapter and future edits.**

**Thank you for your time and I hope you enjoy.**

**If you do have any problems or any suggestions, please let me know.**

* * *

**Edited 05/02/18**

* * *

The wind was whipping through my hair as I ran through the streets as fast as I could. I knew I shouldn't have left Donnie there, but I couldn't move him, and he needed help I couldn't give him at the docks. We were too far from the farm to get help, it was easier to go to The Garrison. Harry would help me, he knew me, and I trusted him and any help he offered. Donnie told me to go to Harry and I was only doing what Donnie told me to do.

Turning a corner, The Garrison came into view causing me to pick up my pace. I ignored the looks I received from some of the men, I had no time to worry about what they thought of me. I must look a mess, blood staining my peach dress, my hair falling out of my braid and my face streaked with tears and blood. I knew I was not what you would expect to see a young woman, but right now I couldn't care. Donnie needed help and I was the only one able to get it for him.

Pushing against the pub doors I overlooked the stares the drinking men gave me as I rushed to the bar where Harry stood serving someone. Both pairs of eyes settled on me as I took in a deep breath, resting lighting on the bar counter.

"Jesus Edith! What happened?" Harry exclaimed, dropping the white rag he was holding as he rushed around the bar, taking my hand in his as he stood before me. I watched as his eyes took in my clothes, looking for any sign of injury

"Robbie and the boys beat Donnie. I left him by the docks. Harry," I blinked quickly, bringing my hand up to my face to wipe away the tears as I looked at the older man. "I left him by the docks," I whispered the fear of Donnie dying set in now. How could I have left him there? He could have bled out or Robbie and the boys could have come back for him.

"It's okay Edith," Harry mumbled, bringing his hands to my face as he wiped away my tears giving me a tight smile. "We'll sort it out. Daniel, Edward, go to the docks, bring Donnie back here. Charlie, run and get a doctor." Harry ordered three of the younger lads, all of them jumping out of their seats and doing as the older man said.

"No, no doctors," I called out stopping Charlie from leaving. We didn't need a doctor, Mah-mee would heal Donnie as soon as we got back to the farm.

Now that I had managed to get help for Donnie it seemed everything set in. My hands started to shake, my breath speeding up as I thought of Donnie dead in the docks. It had been my fault after all.

"What's going on 'ere?" a stern voice called from the doors of the pub, taking all attention from me and to the figures standing there. I turned to look at the others, my eyes roaming over the three men as they looked at Harry and me.

"Mr Shelby," Harry muttered weakly, the strong voice he used moments ago ordering the boys around gone now in the presence of these new men. I only knew John as he stood there, toothpick in mouth, his cap slung over his head. I could only assume that the two men with him were Arthur and Tommy.

They all wore similar clothing, nice grey suits, tailored to perfection. Just from looking at them I could tell they had more money than most around here; I knew they had more money than most. All three of them were also wearing caps, the peaks glinting, and it took me a moment to realise they had what seemed like razor blades sewn into the peaks. Although they all looked different I could tell they must have been related.

"What's going on 'ere Harry?" the same voice that spoke before asked as he stepped forward, closer to the bar. Out of the three of them, this was the one that held my attention the most.

I couldn't tell if it had to do with his looks or the demanding aura around him that commanded my attention. I could tell that everyone else in the pub gave him their attention as well. His presence demanded the attention of everyone around him. He was dangerous, that much I could tell from looking at him. From looking at everyone else in the pub and taking a glance at Harry I already knew that these men were feared.

"Eddie!" a young voice called, pushing the man that had spoken and the man with the moustache. Finn's familiar round face looked me over before he rushed to me, his hands pushing Harry away as he climbed up onto the stool beside me.

"Finn!" the moustached man yelled, calling out a warning to the boy as he lifted his hands, resting them on my face.

"What 'appened Eddie?" Finn asked, ignoring the warning as his blue eyes took in my face. I knew there was blood smeared on my face, from Donnie and myself. I also knew there would be a mark on my cheek from where Robbie smacked me.

"Don't worry Finn," I mumbled to the boy, taking his hands in mine and away from my face. "I'm fine," I assured him only for the boy to frown. I felt him standing behind me then. The man that demanded the attention. Everything in my body screamed at me to turn around and obey him.

"Who's this, Finn?" his voice asked, his eyes burning into my back as he stared at me. I wanted to turn around, I should have, but I wasn't going to give into the burning feeling that told me to give him what he wanted.

"It's Eddie, Tommy." The boy explained as if he should have known. So, his name was Tommy? Was this Finn's brother Tommy? The Thomas Shelby I had heard so much about? I assumed so, I couldn't see Finn with anyone else but his brothers.

"Who the fuck's Eddie?" the moustached man shouted stepping next to Finn, looking between me and him, his eyes glaring at me.

"The girl, Arthur," Tommy spoke, a tone to his voice that made me think he was rolling his eyes at Arthur. If that was Arthur, these must be Finn's older brothers. "Turn and look at me." He ordered, the tone he used making it every bit of an order as it was meant to be. I glanced at Harry, seeing the man nod at me. If Harry was telling me to do it then Tommy must have really scared him. I knew the stories behind the Shelby brothers from Polly and the stories John told me.

Slowly turning away from Finn, I lowered my eyes, taking in the shoes and neat trousers of Thomas Shelby. I kept my eyes on his shoes, something in me not wanting to lift my head and look him in the eye. Part of me knew that he wouldn't like that. I saw his hand move from the corner of my eye, reaching towards me.

"Mr Shelby," Harry warned, stopping when Tommy's fingers gripped my chin lightly, lifting my head until my eyes were locked with his. Just like Finn, he had blue eyes but his were brighter. If I wasn't already struggling for my breath I would have lost it when I looked at him now. Up close I couldn't deny that Thomas Shelby was beautiful for a man. Piercing blue eyes, sharp cheekbones that could cut and full, strong lips.

"What's your name?" he asked although he already knew. He was intelligent as well. He must have known Finn wasn't calling me by my real name.

"Edith," I whispered, my throat rough from the crying and running before he entered the pub. I felt slightly bad that I wasn't telling the complete truth, but I couldn't give everything away. The corner of his mouth twitched at my reply. The silence in the pub was horrible as Tommy kept his eyes on me. It was as if they were all waiting for something.

"Last name?" he questioned, the same tone as before as his eyes flickered around my face before resting on my eyes.

"O'Connell," I mumbled, feeling my face flush at his look. How could he gaze at someone so intently and not seem affected? A look of surprise flashed across his face for a moment before the blank look came again.

"What happened to you, Edith O'Connell?" He didn't ask, more like demanded to know. His fingers brushed over my chin, his hand forcing my head to lift slowly as his thumb rubbed over the mark on my cheek. Matched with my bloody dress and messy hair, I bet I was a sight.

"We were attacked," I muttered, feeling my eyes blur at the thought of Donnie, but I bit my bottom lip to stop the tears from falling. I knew he wouldn't like it if I cried. He was a man of war, a dangerous man.

"By who?" Tommy asked, a frown on his face as he tried to figure out who would do such a thing in his city. And it was his city if the stories were anything to go by.

As I went to answer him the doors slammed open took everyone's attention from us, my eyes also leaving Tommy as I glanced to the door just like he did. I sucked in a breath as Daniel and Edward carried in Donnie, a bloody mess, and moaning. The two young lads looked around the pub quickly before lowering Donnie to the floor.

"El," Donnie whispered out when his eyes locked with mine and I could see the concern in them. There he was bleeding out and in pain but all he could do was worry for me. I was almost pissed that he used my nickname in front of everyone, but he was dying so I'd let him off.

"Donnie," I cried out, pulling away from Tommy and his light touch on my face as I rushed to Donnie, dropping to the floor.

My hands rested over the cuts on his face before I dropped my hands to the stab wound on his side. It wasn't as bad as I thought now that I had a clear head. He would live.

"Aww," he grunted, and I rolled my eyes.

"Harry, can I have some whiskey?" I called to the barman as I ripped Donnie's shirt, getting to the wound. It wasn't too deep, but it was still bleeding. The whiskey would help to stop that.

Finn's small hand held the bottle of whiskey in front of my face and I quickly grabbed it from his hand. Pulling the cork from the bottle I shared a look with Donnie, pouring the brown liquid over the wound.

"Fuck!" Donnie grunted withering on the floor, trying to move away from me as he clenched his teeth at the burning pain.

"I'm sorry," I whimpered pressing down on the wound with his ripped shirt before grabbing Finn's hands. "Press down on the wound Finn," I ordered as I shot to my feet, looking around the pub for a candle. My eyes swept the pub quickly before setting on the candlestick on the bar between Arthur and Tommy.

My fingers trembled as I fumbled with the pack of matches next to the candle. The tiny sticks slipping from my shaking fingers as I bit my lip as tears of frustration threatened to slip down my cheeks. Long fingers pushed my hands away, pulling a match out, striking it and then lighting the candle. Sharing a look with the middle Shelby brother I carefully took the candle from the bar and made my way back to Finn and Donnie.

"Ellie!" Donnie warned seeing the candle in my hands. I could tell from the look he was giving me that he didn't want me to do this.

"Shut up Donnie," I growled, setting the candle on the floor before pulling Finn's hands away. Looking to Daniel and Edward, the two having stayed close I gave them both a sharp look. "Hold him down for me," I ordered, picking up the candle again, giving Donnie a soft look as I watched him tense up. "I'm sorry," I added to him as I brought the candle closer to his wound. Tipping the candle slightly, I let the wax drop onto the stab wound.

Donnie screamed out, the wax sizzling as it hit his skin, cooling into the wound. It wasn't a very pleasant thing, but it would keep the wound cleaned and closed until we got back to the farm. Hating that I was bringing more pain to him, I grabbed the whiskey bottle, passing it over as I titled the candle more, allowing more wax to fall onto the gash.

"No more," Donnie begged, his voice weak as he tipped his head back, gulping at the whiskey. I pulled the candle away at his words, knowing that there was enough wax to keep the wound sealed. A slight smile curled my lips as I thought how proud Mah-mee would be that I had been listening to her when she taught me about healing.

"Mah-mee's gonna gut you," I mumbled to him at the thought of our grandmother. The grimace on his face let me know he heard. "Rest Donnie, I'll send for Maddox and Hugo," I added letting him know I wouldn't just leave him here to make his way back to the farm alone.

"What the fuck's going on?" Arthur Shelby demanded as I turned to face the Shelby men, all three of them stood at the bar having watched me patch Donnie up. I could tell from the look Tommy was giving me that I had a lot of explaining to do.

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**Thank you for reading xx Comet96 xx**


	2. A Tale of Two Tongues

**Sorry for any mistakes, I always miss them even when I proofread. Hope you enjoy this chapter.**

**Comet96 xxx**

* * *

**I'm currently editing this piece of work - when I mean editing, I mean I'll be adapting the story and plot, and I will be checking for grammar and spelling mistakes, but I may miss some as my main focus is on shaping the story so it flows well before I continue adding more chapters. I am sorry if it takes a while, but I do hope you'll all be patient with me.**

**I would recommend re-reading each new edited chapter as there may be changes that would fit in with future chapter and future edits.**

**Thank you for your time and I hope you enjoy.**

**If you do have any problems or any suggestions, please let me know.**

* * *

**Edited 05/02/18**

* * *

From the red face of Arthur, I could tell that the Shelby brothers would want an explanation of what they had walked into. Roaming my eyes over Tommy, I kept his gaze as I ran my hands over my bloodied dress before turning and looking to Daniel.

"You heard of Nellie Farm?" I asked Daniel, flicking my eyes down to Donnie quickly before looking back up to the young lad. He was my age, Harry told me that much and because of that, he hadn't had to fight in the war. Daniel nodded his head quickly, glancing to Edward beside him before giving me his attention again. "You go there, ask for Hugo and Maddox. Say Eddie sent you. Tell them Donnie's at The Garrison and he's had a knife to the gut. They'll need to bring the wagon; they'll bring you back." I told him, digging through Donnie's pocket and pulling out a few coins, tossing one to Daniel. Daniel seemed to think the coin was enough to pay as he rushed out the pub.

Standing from the floor, I grabbed the bottle of whiskey and headed to the bar. Placing the bottle on the bar, I tapped down the remaining coins, sliding them towards Harry. I knew he wouldn't ask for the money, but I would give it to him.

"Eddie-" the barman started but stopped when Tommy slide two of the coins across the bar, taking them in his hand.

"Finn," he called to his brother, tossing the ten-year-old a coin before flipping the other in his hand. "You owe us now, Edith O'Connell." He mumbled leaning on the bar, his eyes locking on mine as he turned the coin in his fingers. "What happened?" Tommy's look was hard to understand at first.

His gaze was strong and blank, but it took me a few seconds to see the curiosity in his look. The blue stare was also making me feel dizzy. His image blurred in front of me as my head spun. I had this feeling before. I knew I was going to pass out within seconds, the events of the afternoon too much for me. Placing one hand on the bar, the other resting against my chest as my breathing picked up again.

"I'll," I started wanting to reply to the man before me, only for my voice to fail me as the air became restricted in my throat. Flashing him a look, my hand on the bar fumbled to keep me up as I tried to find the stool behind me. "I'll tell you," I mumbled stumbling forward as Tommy's face spun in my head as I tripped over my own foot, into his chest. "Tommy." I breathed out reaching up for him as my eyes closed, darkness taking over.

* * *

 

It was dark when I woke, no light shining through the windows, no candle to bring any warmth to the room. Although it was dark I knew where I was as soon as I opened my eyes. I was in the Shelby house, Tommy's room. I had spent a few nights in this room during the war.

No one was in the room with me when I woke. A glance out the window told me it was well into the night. A soft moan escaped my lips when I shifted on the bed, a breath-taking pain settling on my right side. My hand came to rest on my ribs, I looked down when my fingers brushed against the thin material. I was wearing a long-sleeved night shirt, one that belonged to Tommy I guessed. This wasn't one of Ada's nightdresses I had borrowed before.

Sighing softly, I pushed off the bed, stumbling to my feet as I made my way towards the door. I walked slowly, the floorboards creaking under my feet as I stepped on them. I didn't want to wake anyone as I made my way out, it would be better if no one knew I left until morning. I could deal with Tommy Shelby then, but not now. I needed a clear head.

"Where do you think you're going?" that voice only belonging to one man and I could tell it was Tommy due to the finer words he used. Unlike his brothers, Tommy Shelby spoke with an upper class to him. Although he was as common as any other man in Birmingham, he was a man that acted like he was of some noble blood.

In some ways, he was of noble blood. His gypsy side was that of royalty. One that matched mine when it came to gypsy family.

"Home, Mr Shelby," I told him, bringing the coat I had picked up in Tommy's room closer against my body. It would not do for me to wander home in nothing but Tommy's shirt. "Would you tell Polly I'll see her in the afternoon."

"Sit, I want to speak with you," he grumbled, nodding towards the chair opposite his. I hesitated as I stepped towards the chair. This was a talk I wished to have among other people.

"I should be returning to the farm Mr Shelby, my mah-mee must be pulling her hair with worry," I muttered thinking about the woman that had raised me.

"Your grandmother has had word on your whereabouts. Polly sent a note of your exhaustion." He spoke, puffing on a cigarette as his cool blue eyes watched me carefully.

"I don't mean to impose on your family Mr Shelby,"

"You're from the O'Connell family, a family of gypsies yet you don't speak like them. Why is that?"

"I'm guessing it's the same reason you don't speak as the other men of Birmingham Mr Shelby. Although, I am quite sure it is not that reason. You're an intelligent man, a mind I'm sure, that is far more complex than some can see. I, on the other hand, have had a slightly different past from the ones my cousins lead." I told him thinking about the past I've had to live. The good and the bad.

"I know of the O'Connell's, royalty when it comes to gypsies. I've heard about the questionable lineage of one of the granddaughters of Uriah and Aurelia." Tommy leaned forward, tapping his cigarette off in the tray Polly placed on the table. "I've had one of my men investigate it and it seems that an E.E. O'Connell has ties with an unmentioned noble family." His blue stare was locked with mine then and I could tell instantly that he knew what my Mah-mee and Grandpappy had tried to hide these eighteen years.

"Edith Elizabeth," I mumbled, locking my eyes with his as I thought the urge to up and leave. "It means Edith Elizabeth."

"Yet your cousin called you El and Ellie earlier," he pointed out and I almost hit him due to his perception skills. Trying to think of something to lead him away from his questioning, my eyes darted around the room. I need a distraction.

"Have you heard anything about Freddie Thorne?" I asked as my eyes settled on a single rose in a small vase. From the way Tommy shifted, I knew it was a good diversion. While he didn't show any signs of confusion or wonder on his face I could only guess that he was asking so many questions.

"You know Freddie? How?" he asked, leaning slightly towards me in his chair.

"He's friends with my cousins, they mentioned that you're friends with Freddie. Have you heard from him? We haven't seen him, let alone heard from him." I said, watching as his shoulders tensed at me words. Is there something going on with Tommy and Freddie? Did he know something?

"Can you tell me why your cousin called you Ellie?" Gods, this man did not give up. I thought I was good at deflecting. Sighing, I scratched at my wrist, looking away from Tommy's cold stare.

"It's from Elizabeth, I don't like the name."

"Any man but I would be fool enough to believe that, but I know about gypsy families Miss O'Connell. Your grandmother is the matriarch of the family, and knowing her name, I'd be an idiot to not know that she has given each name to her children and grandchildren."

"My mother was hard to press when it came to my name," I supplied not knowing or understanding where this talk was leading.

"I find that hard to believe, seeing as my man is of gypsy blood as well. He's assured me that Aurelia names every babe born into her blood, quarrel or not.  _You have a gypsy name and I want to know it._ " His use of Romani dialect had me pausing briefly. It was to my understanding that the Shelby's knew only of their gypsy decent and not the language.

" _You speak the tongue well,_ " I complimented, sitting straighter in my seat as a smirk crossed his lips. There was more to Tommy Shelby than Polly had told me. Of course, I did not expect to know the man without meeting him, but I thought he'd be easy to know with everything Polly had said about her three eldest nephews.

" _You're wasting my time._ " An impatient man Tommy seemed to be. Obviously, he was not accustomed to not being given his every wish.

"I've yet to understand why it is I have to tell you," I asked, rising from the chair as I pushed a loose curl from my face. "You have nothing I need Mr Shelby. You may offer your protection for a price but why pay you to give me something I already receive from my blood. You can try to frighten me into giving you what you wish but I'm afraid there will be a day when you come to me for something you need. Let us not build a wall between what could be a rising friendship." His jaw twitched at my words and I couldn't help but feel smug. "There could be many things for you to offer me for the information you need. Don't look at me like that Thomas, I know you asked only for my first name, but it would never stop there. You want information on my family because you fear we'll become competition for you with your criminal pastimes. I can already assure you that my family holds no light to that side of business yet, we are rather mellow, it suits us best staying as they travellers we are."

"For travellers, does it not complicate things by owning a farm?" He was angry; I could tell that much. The ticking of his jaw gave that away alongside his clipped tone.

"Paid for with hard-earned money." That may have been a lie. It was not paid for by us, but rather given. Tommy didn't need to know that. "We keep the farm to raise our horses. They fetch quite the price for the races, many have been sold across the country. Many lost their lives to the war as well. If it displeases others to learn of our trade that is their business. We will not stop our work with the horses because people can't accept my blood for gypsies."

"I never said that," Tommy argued rising from his seat as well.

"And I never said you did." Taking a step back from the table I bit the inside of my cheek as I looked over his form. He was still wearing his clothes from the pub earlier, the well-fitted three-piece suit. "It won't do for the two of us to continue arguing well into the night. I have business to attend in the morning, horses to care for and sleep to catch up on. It would please me if you took your place in your room and got some rest. I daresay you need it."

"What do you know of my needs?" he spat, crossing the kitchen quickly, his hand capturing my wrist before I could walk away. His touch sent a shiver up my spine. His fingers were cold compared to my warmed skin.

"I know a lot more than you think.  _I see your eyes, Thomas. They are as open and honest as those horses I tend to. While you may bury your feelings deep under your skin, I see into your soul._ I know nothing of what you faced during the war, but a little rest would do you some good." I whispered stroking my fingers across his cheek before I could stop. The clenching of his jaw once again had me slightly fearful. His hand released my other wrist and he grabbed hold of the hand on his cheek, throwing it away with anger.

"You're right. You know nothing of the war. You stayed shielded from the horrors men had to face. A pretty little red-head protected from death and destruction." He laughed bitterly as he took a step closer. He towered over me, his body may not be stocky, but he was leaner and tougher than me. "Do you know anything about the world outside of your farmlands and stable boys? Not everything is a dream." I swallowed deeply at his words, feeling the bite of tears from his bitter words. Surely this man could not be so bitter and depressed when faced with those that experienced nothing of the war?

"I find I'm nothing but a hindrance to your rest, Mr Shelby," I mumbled softly, afraid to set the man off once again. "If you'll tell Polly I'll see her in the afternoon, I'd be grateful." A stiff nod was all I received from him as I stepped towards the hall. My fingers brushed on the wooden doorway as I hesitated. Turning my head to look back at him, I could see the way his shoulders dropped in defeat as he faced away from me. He had a heavy weight on his shoulders, one he need not bear. " _Mah-mee christened me Elsie,"_  I whispered to the man, watching as his shoulders tensed at my words before they relaxed again. _"Blessed be Tommy._ "

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**Thank you for reading xx Comet96 xx**


	3. A Man Who Murders Beautiful Things

**I want to say a big thank you to everyone that has reviewed this story so far. Sorry for any mistakes. Hope you all enjoy this chapter xxx**

**Lots of love xxx Comet96 xxx**

* * *

**I'm currently editing this piece of work - when I mean editing, I mean I'll be adapting the story and plot, and I will be checking for grammar and spelling mistakes, but I may miss some as my main focus is on shaping the story so it flows well before I continue adding more chapters. I am sorry if it takes a while, but I do hope you'll all be patient with me.**

**I would recommend re-reading each new edited chapter as there may be changes that would fit in with future chapter and future edits.**

**Thank you for your time and I hope you enjoy.**

**If you do have any problems or any suggestions, please let me know.**

* * *

**Edited 05/02/18**

* * *

"Morning Mrs Brown," I greeted, smiling at the woman behind the counter as she gave me a little wave. Her eyes dropped to the baby sleeping in my arms, and they brightened, making her smile grow. Mary always loved it when I brought Paddy into the bakery with me.

"There's that gorgeous baby," she cooed, leaning on the counter top as she looked down at Paddy. "What can I get ya today?" she asked, taking the basket from my hand, setting it on the counter as she ignored the other customers in the bakery.

She always did that, ignored her other customers when I came in. It made me feel rude, but Mary insisted she didn't care about those other women. I swear, one day she was going to lose customers because of it.

"A dozen sweet buns and two loaves of bread please," I answered, shifting Paddy in my arms as he tried to turn. The little boy was getting too big for me to keep carrying around.

"You going to the Shelby's?" Mary asked, no doubt knowing I was going there just because of my order.

"Of course, when am I not going to Pol's?" I mumbled looking around the bakery as I felt eyes on me. There was a tall, lanky boy watching me. I wouldn't call him a man; I could tell he was younger than my eighteen years. He had a peaked cap on and I tried my best not to roll my eyes. Was Tommy already watching me? "Can I put in an order for a dozen pies as well Mary?" I asked knowing Pol would be grateful if I had sorted dinner out for the kids.

"I'll send one of the boys' round when they're done. I'll add the loaves of bread to the basket."

"You don't need to do that, I can manage," I argued quickly, not liking the looks some of the women were sending me. I had gotten used to the looks I received whenever I came into the stores around here, but for some reason, I had a feeling these looks I was getting were for a different reason. I knew they didn't like me because I was a gypsy, but I had a feeling these looks might have something to do with Tommy's boy in the corner.

"And I bet you're gonna go into the grocers next door after this right?" When I didn't answer she gave me a pointed look. "I can't let you drag around two baskets, a babe and God knows what you buy next door."

"I'll be fine Mary; I've done it before," I stated, feeling the eyes grow as someone stepped through the door.

"And I'll not have it, Eddie." Mary stepped around the counter then, waving me over to the side as she glared at all the others in the bakery. "Look, I see you as the daughter my Samuel didn't give me. I've got my three boys and they've given me five strapping young grandsons', but I swear this family is cursed. I won't be getting a daughter or a granddaughter, so you must be it. Let me spoil you."

"I don't want to put you out," I mumbled, feeling my face flush as I knew most people could hear.

"You ain't lovey, I got this all sorted. Just take the sweet rolls and I'll send one of the youngest around when the pies are done." Mary cupped my cheek with her withered hand, the callouses running against my skin showed how hard she worked.

"I've got your money in my bag, you'll have to get it out though," I grumbled, trying to shift Paddy so I could reach the bag.

"Give it to the boys when they bring the pies," Mary stated, raising her hand up to stop me from reaching my bag. I opened my mouth to reply. "If ya ask if I'm sure, I'll beat you round the ear."

"Sorry," I mumbled, ducking my head down to hide my smile as she ran her fingers over Paddy's cheek.

"Go on, get going," she added, handing me the basket full of sweet rolls, dragging me over to the door, pushing her way through the others that had been watching.

As I stepped out into the morning light, I squinted as I bumped into something. I looked up, my eyes grew as I took in the tall figure of Arthur Shelby. the stares we were receiving were worse than the ones in the bakery.

"Hello, Arthur," I greeted hoping he'd forget about last night. Arthur gave me a look, one I was trying to figure out when his eyes settled on Paddy.

"That your baby?" he asked, scratching his chin as his eyes focused on something behind me. I glanced over my shoulder to see the boy with the peaked cap following my outside.

He froze when he saw us looking at him, but leaned against the bakery, his eyes staying on me.

"He's my cousin's son, you know, Donnie, the man from last night. I'm just looking after Paddy until Donnie's better," I told Arthur, shifting Paddy and the basket in my arms.

"What about his mother?"

"She died in childbirth," I explained seeing the guilt flash across Arthur's eyes. "It's not your fault, Arthur, she wasn't doing too well during the pregnancy. I'm just glad she got to hold and name him before she went."

"John mentioned you," Arthur said, his eyes roaming over my hair as it was an indicator of why John would speak about me. "He said you've been helping Polly with his boys since the war. And when Martha went."

"Mah-mee heard about Martha taking ill and sent me to help with the boys. Polly wasn't happy about it at first, but with her being busy with the family business and Martha being sick and a new-born, I was just what she needed." I told him, taking a step away from the curb and over to the grocers next door. Arthur nodded, pulling out a cigarette as I stepped into the shop.

When I came back out, Arthur was waiting where I had left him. He was talking to the boy that had been following me. When they looked to me, the boy rushed to me and took the heavy basket from my hands.

"Miss Edith, Arthur told me to carry your basket," he explained, ducking his head as I stepped beside Arthur.

"Kyle will take it wherever you're going," Arthur explained causing me to smile.

"I'm guessing you're familiar with the Shelby house then, Kyle?" I asked the young lad, causing to him to nod. "That's where I'm heading."

"I'll see you later then?" Arthur asked, his brows furrowing in at the question.

"It was nice talking to you Arthur," I said to him as he walked away, leaving me with Kyle. Once I was sure Arthur wasn't in earshot, I turned to Kyle with a small smile. "Which Shelby asked you to follow me?" I asked him only to receive no response. "Alright then." I shook my head and started the walk back to Watery Lane.

* * *

"Tommy said you'd be 'ere this afternoon," Polly said as she watched Kyle place the basket on the kitchen side before rushing out of the house. I called out a thank you to him as she came to me, taking Paddy from the sling against my chest. He stayed asleep, curling into Polly without batting his eyes open.

"I was, but Mah-mee had me up all night after I got back, yelling at me for being stupid. I had the horses to see to and then I thought I'd just come around now." I told her filling the kettle and placing it on the burner.

"What did she say about you turning up in Tommy's shirt?" Polly asked, bringing a blush to my cheeks as I remembered the look on Mah-mee's face. After a lot of reassurance that I was still a maid, I still had her yelling at me.

"I had to assure her that he didn't take advantage of me," I mumbled, coughing as I started chopping the veg from the basket as I waited for the kettle to boil. "Thought we'd have a stew tonight."

"Sounds fine, John's boys will be 'appy to see you," Polly announced, cooing down to Paddy as he whined out in his sleep. It had been a couple of weeks since I last saw them. With the war ending, I thought it best to leave the family to have some time to themselves.

"I bet. Have they been good for you Pol?" it was almost a guarantee that John's boys were never well behaved, but Polly did scare them, in the way that most children feared their aunt if they were naughty.

"They're Shelby's. They ain't ever good." I laughed at that but then thought of Tommy. Having met him last night, I could finally understand the stories Polly and Ada had told me.

He was the definition of not good. Everything about him screamed danger, but I was attracted to that. He was a dangerous man, a man you didn't want to play with, yet I was willing to be burnt by the fire. Last night when I was alone with him, I couldn't help but admit that there was something about him that drew me in. Mah-mee would call it fate, but I could see the pain in his eyes. He was like the horses I cared for. I wanted to fix him.

"Eddie!" Finn's voice called out, a stamping of footsteps following him as all four of John's boys entered the kitchen after their uncle. The almost ten-year-old rushed over to me, wrapping his arms around my waist as his eyes landed on the sweet rolls. "Ah, ya brought sweets." He grinned up at me, showing off his teeth as his eyes twinkled with mischief.

"Only if you've been good Finn," I reminded him, smacking him around the ear lightly as he went to reach out for the rolls. His nephews crowded around us, giving me the same look Finn gave seconds ago, their eyes darting between the rolls and me.

"Take a sweet and play out front," Polly ordered rocking a now awake Paddy in her arms. Finn set a large smile to his aunt, before handing off a sweet roll to each of the boys and grabbing one for himself before leading them out to play.

"Where's John?" I asked having not seen him since last night or for days before that. John had told me he needed to speak to me about something, yet he hadn't gone out of his way to speak to me.

I was expecting him to be here with the boys taking care of them. He'd been back a year longer than the Tommy and Arthur. When Martha got sick he was stationed in England, so he wasn't too far away. When she died, he was given a few weeks to come back and care for the boys before he went back to work in London. He made it back almost every weekend he could to see the boys.

I'd gotten to know him quite well while helping around the house. There was one thing John couldn't handle and that was his children without their mother around. Polly would normally take the time to herself when John came home for the weekend, so John had to deal with the boys and by the weekend they were like wild horses. Free in their own minds and never listening to their father.

"On a job for Tommy." She answered simple handing Paddy over to me as I took the seat beside her. She handed over the bottle I had made earlier and coxed it into his gaping mouth.

The little guy started sucking down the milk, his cheek puffing up as he grabbed the glass bottle.

"When will he be back?" I asked, wanting to speak with John about his boys. They needed to start going to school, well at least the eldest three did. Finn should have been going as well, but that boy always managed to slip out of school.

"This afternoon," that wasn't Polly answering me. Looking up from Paddy's face, I locked eyes with Tommy. His eyes were on Paddy, a small frown on his face as he looked at the baby.

"Oh, alright," I mumbled, pulling the bottle from Paddy's mouth and setting him on my shoulder. Patting his back, I kept my eyes on Tommy as he stepped further into the kitchen. He looked to Polly before looking around to the stew set on the stove ready to be cooked, to the pile of sweet rolls.

"You're 'ere early," Tommy mumbled, a cigarette in his mouth within seconds and blue smoke covering his face for a second. If I asked him not to smoke near the baby I wouldn't receive a reply and he'd carry on doing it, though I was tempted to see his reaction. "He yours?" he asked, nodding to Paddy as a strange look came to his eyes. Just like Arthur had asked earlier.

Polly laughed at his words, rising from her seat as she shook her head, leaving the room as Ada came through the door.

"Oh Eddie, you have to hand him over to me," Ada gushed taking the bottle in one hand and scooping Paddy up in the other as she settled into Polly's abandoned chair. "He gets fatter every time I see him."

"Ada!" I scolded, giving her a small smile as she looked at me with a large smile on her face. I knew she loved Paddy. It seemed everyone in this house did. "Donnie won't be happy to hear you saying that about his son."

"Well Donnie can take it up with me," she joked looking down at the baby in her arm as she gave him his bottle when he whined out. This was why I loved Ada, she was my only friend outside my family and I adored her dearly.

"He's not mine," I told Tommy, turning to him and answering the question he asked before Ada joined us. "Paddy belongs to my cousin, Donnie. The man from last night." I added reminding him of the events at The Garrison.

"Why's he 'ere? Why ain't he with his mother?" Tommy asked causing me and Ada to share a look.

"Paddy's under my care until Donnie gets better," I answered looking down at the baby before looking back to Tommy. "His mother died after she had him. Donnie can't look after him alone so Mah-mee had Paddy become my ward. She thinks I'm the one to care for him."

"And you don't mind?"

"I love my family, Mr Shelby. I would do anything for them." I answered him bluntly, flashing my eyes to Ada as she let out a small giggle.

"Tommy will do," Tommy muttered pushing his cigarette to its end in the ashtray. "You said you know about horses?"

"I train horses, I breed them, and I care for them. I think I know a lot about horses Tommy." I replied tapping my hand on the table as I looked at him carefully.

"What do you know about Mr Graves and his horses?"

"Besides the fact that he doesn't care for them well, overcharges and murders them when they don't sell? Mr Graves is a cruel man who doesn't care about the animals he breeds. He shouldn't be able to sell horses and he defiantly shouldn't be able to own them." I told him gritting my teeth at the mention of Mr Graves. He'd been one of the men to escape fighting in the war because of the horses he supplied for the army. He had money, family money and had a hobby working with horses. Only thing was, he didn't know shite about horses.

"Will you come with me?" Tommy asked, dropping down into the chair opposite mine.

"Go with you where?" I wondered, looking to Ada as she sent a smile towards her brother. Tommy looked at her but didn't return her smile. His eyes instead settled on me as I watched him carefully.

"I'm gonna buy a horse from Graves, want someone who knows more about him and his horses with me," he answered flicking his eyes over my face as if sensing for a reaction.

"I've got Paddy to watch. My cousin, Maddox, he can go with you. He knows about horses as well." I told him, straightening up in my chair as Tommy shook his head.

"You gotta come. Pol told me you know more 'bout the horses than the others." He argued, pulling another cigarette out and placing it between his lips.

"Do you need me for the horses or for the man?" I asked, getting the feeling that Tommy was keeping something from me.

"Both," he answered, the sides of his lips curling up into a small smile.

"I told you I can't Tommy. I've got Paddy to watch and I told Harry I'd help him at The Garrison tonight."

"I'll watch Paddy," Polly announced, entering the kitchen again with John's youngest, Jacob at her side. He had tears rolling down his cheeks and a bloody elbow he was holding up. "Finn's being a little shit again." She added, giving Tommy a stern look.

Jacob saw me and rushed to me, his tears falling fast as he buried his face into my chest as he climbed into my lap. I pressed a kiss to his head, running my fingers through his hair as I held him to me.

"It's okay Jake," I whispered to him, taking his elbow gentle and blowing on it as Polly handed me a damp cloth. "Look, it's not bleeding anymore," I cooed, pressed a kiss above the graze.

Tommy sighed, rising from the table, brushing his fingers through Jacob's hair before he tugged his cap from his pocket. He looked at me then, his eyes drifting over to Paddy, waiting for an answer. I pressed another kiss to Jake's head and stood, handing him off to Polly.

"Fine, I'll come with you, but you're coming with me when I tell Harry I can't work tonight." I hissed. It was clear he wanted to leave now. Pressing a kiss to Paddy's head, I gave Polly one last look before grabbing my coat and following Tommy out of the house.

Finn looked at us both, no doubt taking in the look on Tommy's face as he stepped out of the house. From the look on Finn's face, I knew he feared Tommy. Not that I would ever believe Tommy would hurt Finn.

"I didn't mean to Tommy. Jake just got in the way." He answered quickly as if Tommy had asked him what happened.

"Get inside all of ya," Tommy ordered giving Finn a stern look as the boy went to argue. "I'll talk to Harry, he'll let you off tonight." Tommy slowed down his walk, looking back at me as I followed with my arms crossed over my chest. "Why'd ya work there anyway?"

"I love working with Harry." I shrugged not understanding why I needed to explain myself to him. "He's a kind man and he helped me get a job at the school, working with him some evenings and during the holidays makes me feel like I'm paying him back," I added smiling at the thought of working at the school. "I won't be able to work for him when I start at the school, so I do all I can now."

"Ya work at the school? The one Finn goes to?" Tommy was smoking the cigarette he put in his mouth before we left the house, not turning back to look at me as he waited for my answer.

"I start next year, after Christmas. Finn hardly goes to school, Tommy, a number of times he misses out on his classes." I laughed lightly at that, remembering all the times I had to drag him into school by his ear. "I'm hoping John lets me start Michael, Matthew, and William in the new year. Hopefully, Finn will start coming more if I'm there."

"I'm sure John won't mind. It gets them out of our way."

"Such a loving uncle, Tommy." I teased, noting the tight smile on his face at my words. "Why are you buying a horse from Graves? Why not come to me and I'll get you one? I've got loads of them at the farm. They're well trained and I've even got a few racers."

"I've got more business with Graves than horses Elsie." He admitted using my gypsy name for the first time since last night. It sent a thrill through my body at the sound of my name coming from his lips. A thrill that sent a blush to my cheeks. I sometimes wished Ada and Polly would call me Elsie as well. They knew my real name, but they called me Edith or Eddie like I asked. I felt like I was lying to them when I asked them not to call me Elsie.

"I hope you know what you're doing Tommy," I whispered as I followed him into The Garrison.

"Who's following us?" I asked, looking at the van following behind Tommy's car. I was surprised Tommy even had a car. Not many people had them, only the wealthy or the sons of the wealthy. I guess that was a testament to how well Tommy was doing already, after the war.

"My uncle," Tommy replied, turning down a country lane that led to Graves' place. I'd been here once before when I was fourteen and my Grandpappy was rescuing a horse from Graves. A horse that had been stolen from us anyway. "He works at the docks. We use his van to bring the horses."

"We could have gotten a trailer from the farm," I mumbled, knowing Tommy wouldn't really care. He knew what he was doing. He'd done it before and he'd sure as hell do it again. "Why have you got one of your boys following me?" I asked, remembering Kyle as he followed me around this morning.

"How old are ya?" Tommy asked, blue smoke puffing in the air between us, ignoring my question. There wasn't a time that man wasn't smoking.

"Eighteen, nineteen in two weeks," I answered, fiddling with the skirts of my dress as I looked at him from the corner of my eye. His cheekbones were sharp and looked like a sculpture I'd seen in my grandparents' estate. "How old are you Tommy?" I asked, wanting to know more about this man.

"Twenty-Eight." He grunted, keeping his eyes on the road. It was so hard to get a conversation started with this man. He liked to ask the questions, but he didn't like to answer them.

"Finn's excited cause we share the same birthday. Pol promised we'd have a party at the farm. Mah-mee doesn't mind. She loves Finn and John's boys." I added, wanting to know if he was planning on coming as well. Polly said that the whole family would be there, so I assume that includes Tommy.

"Aye, Finn told me about the party," Tommy stated bringing the car to a stop as Graves' farm and house loomed a distance before us. He turned to me then, angling his body towards me as he took in my dress and my hair. "I need you to play along with what I say. If I say yer my sister, you play my sister. If I say yer a whore, you play a whore."

"I beg your pardon!" I exclaimed, my eyes widening at his words. "I am not a whore Thomas Shelby. And you'll do well to remember that!"

"I know you ain't-a whore. God forbid you to spread yer legs to any man. Yer a gypsy Elsie, I know you ain't-a whore. I just need you to play along. Understand?" he hissed out, rolling his eyes at my words. His jaw was tense, his teeth grinding against each other as he waited for my answer.

"If he touches me-"

"He won't lay a hand on you," Tommy cut me off, the look in his eyes, making me believe that he wouldn't let Graves touch me.

"I'll play along Tommy, but if Graves even looks at me the wrong way, I'll gut you and hang you by your toes." I hissed at him, turning away from the smug look on his face and looking out at the country lane as he started the car and brought us closer to Graves.

* * *

**I've changed the timeline of this story. At the moment we are only a couple of weeks after the war ended, just coming into December.**

**If anyone has problems with my timeline please feel free to PM me or ask in the reviews xx**

**Thanks for reading xxx Comet96 xx**


	4. A Fire Burning Deep Inside

**Thank you so much to everyone that has followed and added this story as their favourite. A massive big thank you to everyone that has reviewed as well. I wasn't expecting this reaction at all, seeing as there aren't many Peaky Blinders stories, so I wasn't expecting many people to read it.**

**Sorry for any mistakes - I will be editing the chapters throughout the week [I've already started it slowly]**

**Please tell me what you think about the story if you want - I don't want to ask for reviews - I just want you all to enjoy this story xxx Comet96 xxx**

* * *

**I'm currently editing this piece of work - when I mean editing, I mean I'll be adapting the story and plot, and I will be checking for grammar and spelling mistakes, but I may miss some as my main focus is on shaping the story so it flows well before I continue adding more chapters. I am sorry if it takes a while, but I do hope you'll all be patient with me.**

**I would recommend re-reading each new edited chapter as there may be changes that would fit in with future chapter and future edits.**

**Thank you for your time and I hope you enjoy.**

**If you do have any problems or any suggestions, please let me know.**

* * *

**Edited 05/02/18**

* * *

"Thomas Shelby!" the man I knew as Graves called out, the smile large on his face as he shuffled over to us as Tommy helped me out of the car.

Tommy's hand rested on my elbow, giving it a light squeeze, to remind me that I had agreed to play along. His other hand tugged on my left hand before he slipped my hand to rest on his right arm, leading me forward to Graves.

Graves was just like I remember him to be when I first saw him. He was tall, yet not as tall as he had been when I was fourteen. His blonde hair was slicked back, the brown eyes of his, piercing as he took Tommy and me in. His eyes settled on me then, his tongue coming out and swiping at his bottom lip as he looked me over.

This was the look I was telling Tommy about. When the man beside me cleared his throat, I could only guess that he knew this was what I was talking about as well.

"Mr Graves," he replied, tugging me along with him as he reached the man, dropping my arm as he reached forward to shake Graves' hand. "Thank you for agreeing to see me today." Ever the polite gentleman when he wanted something.

It wasn't just the way he was being polite that gave him what he wanted. Tommy was a dangerous man. I knew that much when I first laid eyes on him. It was possible that others sense the same thing I did when seeing Tommy Shelby.

"Nah, ain't no problem lad," Tommy tensed at Graves' words. Tommy was no lad in Graves' eyes. I knew that Graves was at least ten or so years older than Tommy, but he shouldn't be treating Tommy as if he was a child. Tommy wasn't a lad to Graves. "Who's this lovely lady?" he asked, turning his eyes to me. Graves gave me that look again. His eyes roaming over my body, stopping at my breasts, his eyes smirking at the sight. This man had no respect, but I couldn't expect anything less from the animal.

"This is Edith, my wife," Tommy answered, almost making me freeze at his words. Wife?  _Wife?_  I thought he said I would be his sister or a whore. What happened to that? Where did wife come from? If this was his plan all along, I wish he would have told me, so I could have been better prepared.

"Ah, didn't know ya had a woman," Graves grunted, the hopeful look that had been in his eyes, dimmed at Tommy's words.

"Married her when I got back," Tommy told him, his hand tugging on mine as he rested it on his arm again. There was no need to question what Tommy was talking about. A lot of people married after the war, it was a significant amount less than those that married during the war.

"She even old enough Tommy?" Graves asked, laughing as if he was telling some joke. I may have looked young, but I was old enough to marry and birth children.

"She's old enough Jeremy," Tommy answered back, the stern tone in his voice telling Graves that he wasn't messing around. "How 'bout these horses then?"

"Ah, yes, the horses." Graves grunted, his eyes flashing something nasty as he took us towards the back, where I could see a barn.

"What are you playing at Tommy?" I whispered to him harshly, tugging on his arm so we were far enough away from Graves that I could speak to my  _husband._

"I didn't like the look he was giving you." He mumbled back, sending me a sideways look as his eyes trailed back to Graves as he spoke quietly to the man beside him.

"You told me I was to be your sister or your whore. Not your wife!" I hissed sending Graves a smile as he turned to look at us. His lips curled up at the sides as he took in the way we were whispering together. I suppose he thought we were fighting.

"And you were gonna be until I saw the look he gave you." Tommy hissed back, tugging on my arm as he pulled us to a stop. "You said you'd play along." I sighed out in annoyance, not liking the look Tommy was giving me.

"And I will," I mumbled, clenching my jaw as Tommy smirked down at me. God this man was not what I was expecting. "I have the feeling that you planned this all along anyway." I gave him a look, trying to be annoyed at him. "Your plan with me coming with you, pretending to be married. What is this other business you have with Graves?"

"Nothing you need to know right now," he smiled, his hand leaving my arm as he tilted his head towards the direction Graves was in. Tommy's jaw ticked then, his teeth grinding against each other as he turned back to face me.

There was something in his eyes. Too many emotions swirling in those blue pits. Tommy's fingers brushed against my cheek as he leaned down, pressing a kiss to my forehead, sighing out as he grabbed my hand lightly in his.

"Tommy," I said, seeing the look on his face. Why had he kissed me? Why was he doing this?

"Come on," he muttered pulling me along with him as he met Graves where he stood waiting.

"Problem?" Graves asked, looking between the two of us.

"She's just feeling a bit sick." Tommy lied, stroking his thumb over my knuckle as I gave Graves a weak smile. If Tommy wanted me to play his sick wife, I sure as hell could play her. Graves laughed at that, his eyes sweeping over my chest as they rested on my stomach.

"You already got her with your child Tommy" he exclaimed, laughing again as if it was funny. Graves slapped Tommy on the shoulder, sending him a wink as he looked at the man next to him. "You think she's as fiery in the bedroom as her hair Leon?"

The man Leon, chuckled along with Graves as he looked me over, giving me the same look Graves had moments ago.

"I think so Pa," Leon agreed, revealing that he was also the son of Graves. Oh, the poor women these men meet.

"I don't like you talking about my wife," Tommy hissed out, the grip on my hand tightening as he looked between father and son.

"Sorry, Tommy Boy." Graves laughed again, sharing a look with his son before pointing towards a group of horses. "That's what you 'ere for right Tom?"

"Hmm," Tommy murmured, pulling us closer to the horses. There were five of them, but I instantly had eyes for a creamy white mare.

"She's beautiful," I whispered to Tommy, nodding towards the white mare as she turned towards us.

"I like him," Tommy announced nodding towards a black steed, as he huffed, pushing away from the other four. He dragged his hooves against the dirt, stomping his way over to the hay left for them. He had a temper on him.

"That one ain't a man person." Graves called out, his eyes resting on the horse Tommy liked.

The horse came closer to us then and I caught its eyes as he huffed out again. I could see his pain. His eyes were just like Tommy's.

"He fought in the war," I told Tommy, not really asking the question to Graves.

"Aye, he did," Graved mumbled, the confusion noted in his voice. "'Ow did ya know that?" he asked, the slight anger in his voice shocking me.

"I can see it in his eyes." I looked at Tommy then, knowing he was thinking about what I told him last night. " _I don't like what I'm feeling Tommy,_ " I added to him, speaking in Romani so Graves and his son wouldn't understand. " _That man's done something to him._ "

"What did she say?" Graves hissed out, his hand lowering to his hip as he glared at me. "Is she some foreign bitch, Shelby? You married a European whore?"

"She's of gypsy blood Mr. Graves, just like I am. If you have a problem with myself or my wife, tell me now, so we can leave and buy a horse from a man that has no problem with our background." Tommy spat out, his hand pulling on my arm as he brought me to his side. His arm rested on my waist and he pulled me, so I was slightly behind him.

"No, I have no problem, Tommy. Took me by surprise when she spoke in that tongue." Graves grumbled, but he didn't look happy as he shared a look with his son.

"It's her first language Graves, she slips into it without thinking," Tommy added, giving my side a squeeze as he nodded back towards the steed that had taken his attention as he paced before us. "I want to look at that horse."

"Alright," Graves scrunched up his nose at Tommy's words before looking to his son. "Get the men Leon, we'll need all the help we can get with that beast."

* * *

The horse Tommy had asked to look at was wild and certainly not used to being around people anymore. I had seen horses after the war when the men brought them back because they needed them no longer. They had this crazed look in their eye and Grandpappy always said they no longer needed to be here.

They couldn't handle being around people, so they had to be revealed of their pain. It was either setting them free or putting a bullet to their head. Most of the time they did fine being set free, going back to their nature, but there were ones that couldn't handle that. Those are the ones that would haunt me forever.

This horse, Tommy's horse, he had a chance at fighting. I knew that from looking in his eyes. This one was a fighter.

"Can I go to him?" I asked Graves, giving Tommy a look as he went to step towards the horse.

"Aye, but I can't be sure 'ow he'll react to ya." Graves grumbled, a cigarette in his mouth as he shared a look with his son. "You gonna send ya wife in there with it, Tommy?" he asked then, looking to my  _husband_  as if questioning him.

"She knows horses," Tommy replied giving me a soft nod, as he helped me open the gate, his hands resting on the gate ready in case something happened. He was being cautious, getting ready in case he needed to pull me away from the horse.

I took a step towards the horse, stopping and turning to face Graves.

"Does he have a name?"

"Nah, he's a pesky one. Got no time for him with the way he acts." He muttered, looking at me with his eyes, an intense look coming over him as he stepped forward until he was leaning against the fence.

Turning back to the horse, I took slow steps until I was sure he knew I was in his space. Mumbled softly under my breath, the words making no sense, but coming out in a soothing way, to calm the horse. I needed to get close to him.

His dark eyes caught mine, the fierce look behind them, freezing me in my steps as he took a step towards me.

I could feel Tommy shifting behind me, getting ready to come to me if he felt I was in danger. I raised a hand up towards Tommy, warning him that I was fine.

"Hey boy," I whispered to the horse, taking a smaller step towards him, making sure my actions didn't startle him. "Hey," I mumbled, clicking my tongue as he took the last steps that separated us. His hot breath fanned over my face, shifting my hair against my cheeks.

Raising my hand slowly, I held it out for the horse to smell, smiling when he leaned forward, resting his nose against my hand. Running my hand up his nose, I brushed my fingers over his ears as I leaned my head against his.

" _Good boy. You're a sweet one aren't you Aden. Just a little fire inside you._ " I mumbled to him, running my fingers down his neck until I reached the hair going down his neck. " _You don't like this man, hey boy. I want you to meet someone. Tommy's like you, Aden. He fought in the war. He's got bad memories locked inside. I'm thinking you two will be good for each other._ " I smiled into Aden's neck, pressing a kiss to him as I took a small step back, locking eyes with him. " _Do you think you can meet him, Aden?_ " I asked, receiving a small nudge on my face.

Taking that as a yes, I ran my hand over his neck as the other one stroked his nose. He was a well-trained horse, his manner around humans showed that but his past was haunting him, and Graves wasn't suited to caring for a horse like Aden.

"Tommy," I called out to him softly, not turning away from Aden, keeping my eyes locked with him. "Come to me slowly."

The gate opened behind me, then closed again and then Tommy made his way towards us. His pace was slow, just like I had told him, but it still took him a couple of seconds to reach us. He stood there, behind me, his presence overbearing, just like when he came to The Garrison last night.

It was hard to believe it was only last night that I had met this man.

Taking my hand from Aden's nose, I reached behind me, taking Tommy's hand in mine, before pulling him closer. His chest pressed against my back, his breath raining down on my neck as I raised our joined hands, until I placed his gently on Aden's nose.

Aden huffed lightly, his nose twitching as he smelt Tommy. The horse shifted forward until my face was buried in his neck and his nose was pressed against Tommy's cheek.

"Hey boy," Tommy mumbled, his chest rumbling against my back as he leaned into Aden's reach. It was as if the horse could sense everything about Tommy. It was as if he had heard me when I told him that they were alike.

"I called him Aden," I whispered to Tommy, turning my body, so my cheek rested against Aden's neck, so I could see Tommy from the side. He had a small smile on his face, the biggest smile I had seen on him, one that wasn't his smirk.

"Aden," he smirked, tilting his head to the side as he looked the horse in the eye. "It suits him." Tommy locked his eyes with mine, the smirk still on his face as he took in the way I had wrapped myself around the horse. "I think we'll take him home."

"I like that idea," I smiled at him, pressing a kiss to Aden's neck as I stepped away from him. Tommy's hand was still holding mine as he moved away from Aden, taking me with him as we made our way back towards Graves.

"I'll take him and that mare," Tommy announced nodding towards the creamy mare I had thought beautiful earlier. I frowned at his words, not understanding why he was buying two horses.

"Sure," Graves mumbled, the look on his face one of confusion as he turned to Leon. "Get the boys to load them up." He ordered, looking between Tommy and the horse, a twitch on his face.

"No need, Edith will see to it with my uncle Charlie," Tommy stated, stopping Leon from getting the men. "Let's go about paying you while they load them up," Tommy added, squeezing my hand as he waved Charlie over, before following Graves to his house.

"Alright, Eddie?" Charlie asked, startling me as I gazed after Tommy. Why had he brought the mare?

"Oh, hello Charlie," I muttered lightly looking to the rope in his hands before looking to Aden. "I'll get him for you. He's a bit shy around people."

"Not yer though, saw the way he was 'round yer," Charlie mumbled handing the rope over and opening the gate for me.

"I know horses Charlie, and for some reason, they seem to like me," I told him, running my fingers over Aden's nose as I looped the rope through his bridle, tugging gently on the rope as I led Aden towards the van Charlie had ready for him. "Tommy brought the mare as well. Why?" I asked Charlie, wondering if he knew about his nephew's motives.

"I watched him, Eddie. He saw how you liked 'er, I'm sure he's got 'is reasons." Charlie muttered closing the back of the van as we went to get the mare.

"What should we name her?" I asked, running my hands over her neck as she chomped down on some hay. She wasn't like Aden, her reactions better towards humans than his. She was fine around Charlie as well, sniffing at him as he fed her more hay.

"Branwen," Tommy called out, answering my question as he joined us, his hands tucked into his pockets as a cigarette dangled from his lips. He reached up taking the stick from his lips as he looked at the horse. "Call her Wen."

"Branwen," I repeated a small smile coming to my lips when I understood the meaning of her name. "Beautiful," I told Charlie as he looked on in confusion. Branwen was the perfect name for her. " _Come along little Wen. We're going home._ "

* * *

"You're sure I can keep 'em here?" Tommy asked as Charlie unloaded Wen from the van, clicking his tongue at her as he followed Maddox as he led him to the pen.

"They'll be fine here," I mumbled looking away from him as Mah-mee came out of the farmhouse. Her eyes landed on Tommy, her blue orbs taking him in, stopping on his hand as it rested against my lower back. "I'll look after them for you Tommy."

"I want ya to train him to be a racer," Tommy mumbled, looking to Mah-mee as she started to speak to Charlie. I looked at Tommy confused.

"I'll need to know the rider. I can't train him without the rider, Tommy." I sighed, grabbing hold of Aden's rope, leading him out of the van, following Charlie as he led Wen to her new home. "I think you should just keep him for yourself, you both could do with the company," I added, giving him a pointed look before darting my eyes to Mah-mee.

She had a tight smile on her face, but I could tell she wasn't really looking at us anymore. Her eyes had gone glazed over, something she did when she was seeing something that wasn't there. Grandpappy told us that Mah-mee was special and often saw the futures of people when they came into her range. Other gypsies travelled for miles and days to get Mah-mee to see into their lives.

Grandpappy said she could speak to the dead as well.

I didn't know what to believe.

She sure knew things before they happened, but I just assumed that was her mother's intuition.

She also had a keen eye for knowing who would end up married to who. Adding to the fact that she could also tell if you were carrying a boy or a girl, and the name of the baby, it was a little strange.

Grandpappy said she had the seer blood in her.

I thought it was all shit.

"I have company," Tommy groaned, running his fingers over his cap, his eyes flickering from Mah-mee to me. "I spent the day with you, didn't I?"

"I'm not your friend Tommy. We hardly know each other." I told him, closing the gate to Aden's new pen as I gave Tommy my full attention. "Do you actually speak to anyone besides your family, the Blinders and the men and women you deal with for business?" I asked him, tilting my head to the side as I waited.

"I speak to you."

"I'm part of a business deal, Tommy. You used me today to get to Graves. I don't think that counts." I huffed out, crossing my arms over my chest, feeling the anger rise in me as he smirked.

"I think it counts Elsie." He grinned, pushing a cigarette between his lips. Something about the way he was looking at me made me want to smack him.

" _Elsie! If you think about raising a hand to that man, I'll give you the belt!"_ Mah-mee called out, stepping away from the house as both, Tommy and I looked at her. I felt my face flush at her words. So maybe she did have seer blood in her.

"It's no bother, Aurelia," Tommy announced sending a charming smile to her as she stopped beside us. Mah-mee looked Tommy over, her eyes resting on the cigarette in his mouth before roaming down his body.

"Ya sure 'ave grown Tommy." She mumbled, giving him a big smile as she stepped forward, bringing his face between her hands. She closed her eyes, sighing out as she shook her head lightly. "You seen her ride yet, Tommy?" What? What did she mean by that?

Tommy looked at me then as Mah-mee pulled her hands away from his face. His smile curved at the edges of his lips as he pulled the cigarette from them, puffing out blue smoke.

"No, she was too busy telling me I had no friends," Tommy replied, the look in his eyes shining as he teased me.

"Ah, yer like a wee babe, sulking and groaning." Mah-mee hissed at me, tugging on my loose curls as she sent a look over my shoulder. "Yer beasts coming."

Turning at her words, a large smile came across my lips as the black horse, trotted over to us. He had no reins and I never kept him in a pen. My beauty was free to roam around the farm, it was after all his home and I wouldn't have him caged in and trapped.

" _Hey boy._ " I clicked at him, pressing my face against his nose as he bumped into me. " _I missed you too sweetheart._ "

"He's yours?" Tommy asked, moving aside as Mah-mee huffed out, muttering under her breath.

"She treats him like she birthed him into this world. My Uriah got him for 'er four years ago. He was a foal then and she needed to company. Too many horses were going off to die." She answered, clucking her tongue as she brushed her fingers over his neck.

"Tommy, I want you to meet Hellfire," I told him, kissing Hellfire on the nose as I turned away from the horse to face Tommy. He chuckled at me, his eyes taking in the great beast beside me. He was bigger than most horses, bigger than Aden and Aden was big for his size.

"Show Tommy why you named the beast that," Mah-mee stuttered, scrunching her nose up as Hellfire sneezed. I smiled at her, before sharing a look with Hellfire.

"Do you mind giving me a hand up?" I asked Tommy, looking between him and the horse. Tommy looked startled before he stepped forward and helped lift me onto Hellfire's back. I didn't need a saddle to ride. I'd been with Hellfire since he was a foal, we never used a saddle. Going bareback made our bond greater. " _Ride like the wind Hellfire,_ " I whispered, leaning forward and wrapping my hands in his mane of hair.

Hellfire huffed out at my words before he took off.

I couldn't help but laugh as he flew away from the farm, circling the fences and pens of the other horses as he made a circuit of Mah-mee and Tommy. I didn't need to tell him where to go, he just knew.

What felt like seconds later, Hellfire was coming to a stop in front of Tommy and a smug looking Mah-mee. Charlie and Maddox had joined them both now, Maddox stepping forward to catch me as I jumped off Hellfire.

"You should enter him in the races." Was what Tommy said as I caught my breath, patting Hellfire on the neck.

"Hellfire's not a racer." I laughed, shaking my head at the confused look on Tommy's face. "He's fast Tommy, but he's not a racer. He wouldn't enjoy it. He's a free horse. He can go whenever he likes. I don't tie him down."

"But he stays?" Tommy asked, the confusion clear on his face as well as Charlie's.

"Hellfire loves 'er Tommy," Mah-mee told him, clapping him on the shoulder as she gave him a look. "He wouldn't abandon her. Not for anything."

Tommy nodded at her words, a strange look coming across his face. Mah-mee looked at me then, a knowing smile on her face.

"Mah-mee?" I asked, not actually understanding her knowing smile.

"You'll be coming to Elsie and Finn's party right, Tommy?" she asked him, not giving him a chance to answer as she continued talking. "It'll be good to see yer and tell Arthur he owes me a kiss."

"Mah-mee!" Maddox shouted, a look of disgust crossing his face as he patted Hellfire as the horse nudge passed him.

"I only tease Maddy," I smiled at Maddox's face at his nickname. He didn't like it because it was a girl's name.

"Tommy why don't you go with Elsie on Friday night?" she wondered, bringing confusion to Tommy's face again.

"Tommy's a busy man Mah-mee," I hissed at her, knowing what she was doing. After last night, I told her Tommy had asked about my grandparents, my mother's parents. "I can go alone."

"Go where?" Tommy asked, his fingers dipping into his pockets as he looked at us both. His eyes settled on me as if he expected me to tell him.

"Elsie's going to 'er grandparents'. They got a fancy dinner, Maddy was gonna take 'er but he's not gonna be well." Maddox looked disgruntled at this but when Mah-mee told you that you were gonna be ill, you knew you were. Maybe she poisoned us so we'd become ill. That would explain why she was always right. "You'll take 'er right, Tommy? I don't want 'er walking there and if one of the boys don't take 'er I know she'll walk."

I glared at her then. She wasn't making things easier for me. Things were tense between Tommy and me. Hell, we didn't even know each other. We've only spent a couple of hours alone at the most. And most of that time was today and we were with Graves.

"I'm sure it'll be a pleasure." Tommy softly replied, his eyes not leaving mine as he answered her. I bet he was loving this. Just last night I had denied having the exact grandparent's he was now going to see in a few night's time.

"Yeah, I bet it will be," Mah-mee mumbled under her breath before she chuckled, giving Tommy a large smile. "Make sure yer get yerself a nice new suit Tommy. They got money enough to buy new clothes for each day and never wear 'em again."

"You're being silly Mah-mee," I stated, rolling my eyes at her as I turned to look at Maddox. "Grandpa Alfred re-wears his clothes all the time. Elizabeth on the other hand, it'll be like being stabbed in the gut to catch her wearing the same dress more than once." I laughed, knowing Maddox would share my thoughts with my grandmother. He's had to put up with her more than once, too many times if you ask him.

"Elsie, watch what yer say 'bout people," Mah-mee warned, she looked serious as she looked at us all with a scolding look on her face. "Yer Grandpappy might 'ear and I'll be getting a moaning." She added, knowing it was her influence that made her grandchildren like this. "Ya'll hate 'er when yer meet 'er Tommy," Mah-mee told him, smiling at the lost look on his face.

I thought I would never see the day Tommy let people see him looking lost.

"Lady Elizabeth Cromwell, the ghastliest lady you'll ever meet." Maddox supplied for him, his voice going all high pitched as he tried to imitate my grandmother.

"You're in for a treat, ah Tom?" Charlie laughed, clapping his nephew on the shoulder as he smiled widely.

* * *

**Thank you for reading xx**

**Thoughts? Feelings? Do you want to throw me into a pit of fire for my terrible writing?**

**I was trying to think of a name for Tommy's rival before Billy Kimber but no names were jumping out and then Graves just sort of hit me. It was really annoying me as well because the name grated on my nerves and I was wondering why. Then I realized that Fantastic Beasts and Where To Find Them has a character called Graves and it all started to make sense.**

**Happy Reading xx Merry Christmas xxx**


	5. A Woman Of Two Worlds

**Sorry for the long wait.**

**I also apologise for any mistakes within this chapter - I haven't had time to read through it. The current time is 02:34 am in the morning, but I thought you'd like to receive this chapter sooner rather than later.**

**Please enjoy this chapter. I look forward to any reviews I may receive. Thanks again, Comet96 xxx**

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**I'm currently editing this piece of work - when I mean editing, I mean I'll be adapting the story and plot, and I will be checking for grammar and spelling mistakes, but I may miss some as my main focus is on shaping the story so it flows well before I continue adding more chapters. I am sorry if it takes a while, but I do hope you'll all be patient with me.**

**I would recommend re-reading each new edited chapter as there may be changes that would fit in with future chapter and future edits.**

**Thank you for your time and I hope you enjoy.**

**If you do have any problems or any suggestions, please let me know.**

* * *

**Edited: 11/02/18**

* * *

The pub was quiet for once, the few men that were in, kept to themselves, talking quietly at their tables. Harry left, to count the stock in the back, trusting me to take care of the patrons.

As I was wiping clean the glasses I could feel the eyes of the men on me. Sitting in the corner was Kyle, a drink in front of him as he sat beside two other boys his age. Could I call them boys? I knew they were about eighteen/nineteen, the same age as myself.

I was focusing on Kyle, wondering who had sent him to keep an eye on me, when I heard the tapping on the bar behind me. Not bothering to turn around, the man hadn't asked for another drink, so I wasn't going to bother giving him my attention until he asked.

"Oi, Little Lady, don't ignore me," I would have been annoyed at the words if I hadn't recognised the voice. I spun around, the smile spreading across my face as I saw the man waiting in front of me, his smile large on his lips. "Wouldn't want to tell your boss about you ignoring 'is customers."

"Freddie!" I exclaimed leaning over the bar, wrapping my arms around him. "I thought something happened to you. I haven't seen you since the others came back. I asked Tommy 'bout you but he didn't say anything. Oh, Mah-mee's gonna be 'happy to see ya." I breathed out, pulling away from him, grabbing his face in my hands, taking him in. "I missed you."

"I missed you too, Ellie," he mumbled, using my nickname that all my family seemed to use. He was also gripping my hand tightly in his. "'Ang on. Did you say you spoke to Tommy? You don't mean, Tommy Shelby, do ya?"

"Yes," Freddie clenched his jaw at that. "What's wrong Freddie?"

"You shouldn't hang round Tommy," he muttered, nodding his head towards the tap, placing a coin on the bar top. "He ain't no good."

"We've got two of his horses at the farm," I mention, pouring his drink before placing it in front of him. I frowned at his words.

"You should send 'im packing," Freddie grumbled, sipping at his drink as he gave me a stern look.

"Freddie, I really appreciate your concern, but I'll be fine," I promised him, leaning forward as I cupped his cheek. Giving him a small smile, I leaned forward, placing a kiss at on his cheek. He was being sweet, and I knew why he was doing it.

Freddie had known me since I was thirteen and when we first met, I was a big blubbering mess and Freddie took it upon himself to help me. Ever since then, he'd seen himself as a brother to me and I appreciated it.

"Mr. Shelby," came Harry's voice, causing me to pull back from Freddie to see Tommy standing by the door, his eyes on me and Freddie as he clenched his jaw, cigarette hanging from his lips.

"El, a word," he grumbled, walking into his private room.

I glanced to Freddie before sharing a look with Harry, before making my way to Tommy. I knew he was talking to me, as did Harry and Freddie.

"What?" I asked him, shutting the door behind me as I stood before him. He looked at me as if calculating something before bringing his cigarette to his lips.

"You know Freddie." It wasn't a question, more of an observation. I nodded at his words anyway, waiting for him to carrying on. He knew I knew Freddie, I had asked him about Freddie last week. "You said you weren't a whore."

"I'm not," I seethed, my teeth clenched as I gripped onto my skirt.

"Aye, it sure looked like that when you kissed him," he ground out, smashing his cigarette in the tray. He looked back up at me, his eyes that steely cool blue as he tilted his head to the side.

"I didn't kiss Freddie," I argued, giving Tommy a confused look.

"You did," he fired back, rising from his seat as he stepped closer to me.

"I didn't Tommy," I mumbled, taking a step back as he walked closer. He rolled his eyes, resting one hand on the door above my head, while the other rested on the wood beside my waist. Tommy leaned in close then, his lips brushing against my cheek as he whispered in my ear.

"I don't like liars." His words were soft but there was an unmistakable threat within them.

I rested my hands on his shoulders, shoving him back, feeling satisfied when he stumbled away slightly. Clenching my jaw at him, I huffed out as I pulled my hand back, slapping him across the face.

"I don't like being threatened." Sniffing, I turned away, opening the door, glancing back at him. "I'll see you tomorrow, Thomas."

* * *

"And you behave, Elsie, no treating Tommy badly." Mah-mee hissed out as she tugged on my arm as she led me out of the house.

Tommy was waiting out front, leaning back against his car, a cigarette hanging from his lips. He was wearing a nice suit, smart black with a delicate waistcoat. I knew it must have been new and I knew he must have brought it for tonight. Part of me felt bad about that but the other, larger part didn't care. If Tommy had to waste his money, that was fine with me. Served him right after yesterday.

"You look beautiful," Tommy greeted, reaching out and taking my hand from Mah-mee, placing a kiss against my fingers. I hid the shiver as his lips pressed again the back of my knuckles, frowning at him as he smirked at me. He didn't bother hiding his smirk as he helped me into the car before prancing off to talk to Mah-mee.

I waited for them both to stop talking before Tommy joined me, starting the engine. Mah-mee appeared around my side of the car, placing a basket in the back seat as she leaned over to me.

"Tommy's a good one Elsie, be good to him." I huffed at her words, not bothering to look at her as Tommy drove off.

Tommy had hurt me yesterday with his words and now I felt like he was treating me like a whore. The look he gave me earlier, the kissing my hand, telling me I was beautiful. I knew it was him being bitter about yesterday.

"You going to ignore me the whole night?" Tommy asked as he followed the road towards my grandparent's estate. Even if he hadn't been there before, he knew where it was. Everyone knew where the Cromwell Estate was. I turned my head to the side, looking out at the darkening sky as he took us further away from Small Heath. "I'll take that as a yes."

* * *

I ignored Tommy's hand as he pulled open my door, trying to assist me with climbing out of his car. I still wasn't talking to him, not one word within the drive to my grandparent's estate.

Four men were waiting on the steps of the estate for us, all of them familiar but only one had my attention.

"Papa," I called, rushing forward and into the arms of my grandfather as he wrapped me in his warmth. There was no mistake that Papa was my favourite when it came to my mother's parents. Not only was my Grandmother cold and too proud, she also didn't give me the love my Papa did.

"Elsie, darling," Papa mumbled against my hair, brushing away a few strands as he pulled out of the hug, looking me other. Another reason I loved Papa, he called me by my gypsy name, unlike Grandmother. "You get more beautiful every time I see you."

"Stop lying Papa," I laughed, pressing a kiss to his cheek before noticing that his eyes were on someone else. Yes, they would be on him.

"And who is this?" he asked, yet I already knew he had an idea of who Tommy was. Mah-mee had probably called or sent a letter saying that Maddox couldn't come, and Tommy would be taking his place.

"Thomas Shelby," Tommy introduced himself, shaking Papa's hand as he gave him a soft smile. "It's nice to meet you, Lord Cromwell."

"Just Alfred, my boy," Papa exclaimed, clapping Tommy on the shoulder as he looked him over. "And I'll call you Tommy like you prefer." Tommy glanced at me, wondering if I had been the one to tell Papa this, but I knew that Papa would know by looking at Tommy. "Shall we head inside? My darling wife is probably fussing that we're running behind schedule." Papa laughed then, turning away, Mr. Crampton, his butler, following behind him.

"You got any bags Lady Edith?" the blond man waiting on the steps asked, stepping forward slightly as he looked between Tommy and me.

"Samwell!" I rushed to him then, not caring if I wasn't being a Lady like my Grandmother wished. "I'm so happy you made it back safely."

"Aye, and I'm happy nothing happened to you, ma'am'" I smacked his shoulder lightly, rolling my eyes at his title for me.

"Sam, you and I grew up together here. I won't have you calling me ma'am when no one's around. Just Edith please."

"If that's what you wish." He looked to the brown-haired man next to him, Jim, before nodding his head to where my Papa could be seen waiting in the hallway, talking to Mr. Crampton. "You better get in there. Lady Cromwell's been at our heads all day."

"More like all week," Jim muttered causing Sam to laugh.

"I would love for you to write to me Sam, tell me how Daisy's getting on. I still can't believe you haven't asked her yet."

"I will soon," he promised, flushing as Tommy stared at him intently as I climbed the steps with him. "She's actually here tonight. She still works here; your Papa asks her to come in whenever you're to visit. He still pays her when she doesn't work as well."

"I'll be sure to see her later." I gave him one last smile before excepting Tommy's arm as he led me to Papa.

* * *

"And what is it you actually do then Mr. Shelby?"

Of course, my Grandmother couldn't last until after dinner to question Tommy. Tommy paused, his wine glass held lightly in his hand as he looked to my Grandmother with that intense look of his.

"I'm in the racing business at the moment, Lady Cromwell," Tommy told her, sharing a look with me. It was best not to mention the whole illegal side of Tommy's job.

"And do you go to many races, Mr. Shelby? Kempton? Cheltenham? Epson? Oh, we do love the races, don't we Alfred?" Grandmother went on, giving Tommy a pointed look as she turned to Papa.

"Yes darling, we do so love a race." Papa's smile wasn't sincere as he glanced to Grandmother.

"Have you ever been to a race, Mr. Shelby? One that your horse isn't racing in?" Grandmother asked, sipping her wine as she studied Tommy carefully. I knew she was judging him. The way she judged everyone.

"I can't say I 'ave, Lady Cromwell," Tommy mumbled, turning his head away from my Grandmother as he looked to Papa.

"That's a shame." She lifted her head up slightly, shaming him like he was a servant to her. I felt Tommy tense. It amazed me how I felt him tense up, as he was opposite me and not next to me. "Edith has been to many races, haven't you dear."

"Of course, Grandmother," I said looking at Papa as he smirked at me. I looked away from him, knowing I would laugh out if he kept looking at me.

"Perhaps you will join us one day, Mr. Shelby?" Grandmother inquired, though we all knew she wasn't asking him and she didn't want him to join us.

* * *

"You'll have to excuse Elizabeth. She sometimes forgets that things have changed after the war." Papa said to Tommy as we walked around the stables.

"She hasn't forgotten Papa, she just likes rubbing in that she has money," I grumbled under my breath as I walked ahead of them.

"Elsie, my darling girl," Papa started, only to stop when his favourite horse came over to us. "There's my other special girl."

"She's looking good Papa," I told him, brushing my hand over his mare's nose.

"That she is my darling girl, got a race tomorrow at Cheltenham." He sounded happy about that. I knew Papa loved to race his horses.

"You should have told me, Papa, I would love to see her race again." I sighed. It had been such a long time since I had last seen a race.

"Perhaps you shall join my than Elsie." Papa looked to Tommy then, smiling at him brightly. "And you Tommy, you shall join me as well."

"I'm not sure if Grandmother would like that Papa. You heard her over dinner. She doesn't like Tommy, you could see it clearly." I glanced over to Tommy, giving him an apologetic smile.

"Well it's a good thing your Grandmother is not attending then isn't it." He looked to Tommy then, ignoring the look I was giving him. "Would you join me tomorrow Tommy? Everything paid for, got my own box and Cheltenham, Elsie loves it."

"The view of the track is simply beautiful. I admire the stables as well; all the horses are remarkably beautiful." I whispered more to myself as I brushed my face against the mare's nose. "I suppose I shall make an appearance tomorrow." I looked to Tommy then, locking my eyes with his. "I won't be needing you to drive me home tonight Tommy, I call Mah-Mee from the phone and tell her I'm staying the night."

"No need, Elsie-girl, Mah-Mee already phoned and told me you were staying. Told me what dress you would be wearing tomorrow and that Tommy should wear one of the suits we've got here for the boys." Papa announced, brushing his hand over his horse's nose.

"I guess I'll be going tomorrow a well then." Tommy dropped his cigarette on the floor, looking at Papa with raised eyebrows. "Do you want me to come back early tomorrow morning?" Papa laughed at Tommy's words, clapping him on the shoulder as he chuckled.

"There's no need for that my boy, I've already got the guest room set up for you in Elsie's courters," Papa told him, turning his attention on the horse as she let out a huff. "And let me introduce you to this beautiful girl. My prized lady, Gypsy Girl."

Tommy's eyes light up in surprise at the name, but he nodded as he came over, stroking along her nose. His fingers brushed against mine, a shock running through me.

"I can't wait to see her tomorrow," I said moving away from Gypsy Girl and away from Tommy's heat.

"I can't wait to see Graves face when she beats his horses," Papa exclaimed, the pride in his voice loud as he looked at Gypsy Girl.

"Graves? Jeremy Graves?" Tommy asked, the interest in his voice causing me to look at him.

"Yes, have you heard of him then?"

"I bought two horses from him last week, Elsie came with me," Tommy admitted, clenching his jaw at the mention of the man.

"She told you about Graves then?"

"Aye, she did."

"Then I guess you know how disgusting he is?" Papa was angry now; his temper always got the best of him when it came to Graves.

"Saw it myself."

"Papa, there's something you should know," I started, remembering what Tommy had told Graves when we went to him. Sharing a look with Tommy, he seemed to remember as well. He didn't show any signs of remembering. His eyes didn't grow, his eyebrows didn't shoot up, his lips didn't twitch. He just nodded slightly, as if giving me permission to carry on with my explanation. "When we went to see Graves, Tommy told him that we were married." Papa didn't look surprised at this, which confused me. "It would be most promising if you were to go along with-it Papa."

"Most promising? What are you talking about Elsie? You need not worry about me my darling girl, I'd rather like to see the two of you acting like a married couple. You're both stiff around each other. It's like you're sneaking around behind my back, fooling around." I paused at his words, flushing in embarrassment at the thought of Papa walking in on me and Tommy fooling around. Just thinking about Tommy and fooling around in the same thought made me flush a darker red.

Sharing a glance with Tommy, a smirk on his lips, I scowled as I took a step back.

"If I can be excused Papa, I think it's time for me to turn in for the night," I muttered to the two of them, pecking Papa on the cheek. I gave Tommy a last glance as I rushed into the house, wondering what the two had started talking about.

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**Thank you for reading xx I hope you enjoyed the chapter xx**


	6. Jealousy at the Races

**Hey guys, sorry this is so late.**

**As usual, sorry for any mistakes. Hope you all enjoy and thank you for the reviews xx They are much appreciated xxx**

* * *

**I'm currently editing this piece of work - when I mean editing, I mean I'll be adapting the story and plot, and I will be checking for grammar and spelling mistakes, but I may miss some as my main focus is on shaping the story so it flows well before I continue adding more chapters. I am sorry if it takes a while, but I do hope you'll all be patient with me.**

**I would recommend re-reading each new edited chapter as there may be changes that would fit in with future chapter and future edits.**

**Thank you for your time and I hope you enjoy.**

**If you do have any problems or any suggestions, please let me know.**

* * *

**Edited: 11/02/18**

* * *

"Lord Cromwell, a pleasure to see you, sir," one of the waiters greeted Papa, as he led us through the busy ground floor and toward Papa's private room. "Lady Edith it's wonderful to see you too." His eyes lingered on Tommy, unsure of how to greet him.

"Oh, James, this is Thomas Shelby, my grandson-in-law." The smile on Papa's face was one of mischief. "I thought I'd bring him to one of the races, break him in." James laughed at Papa's words, giving Tommy a pleasant smile as he waved us up the stair to the private quarters.

"Be prepared for the people you'll meet up here Tommy," I warned him as I took his hand, slowing him down as he went to follow Papa. "They tend to look down on people they think below them."

"I take it they look down on you?" he asked, his hand tightening on mine, his eyes darting between me and the curtained arch above us.

"They did at first, but I've found that these men like to outdo each other and they're all trying to impress a Lady." I smiled at Tommy then, pulling on his hand as I took the stairs slowly. "Besides, I find that most of the gentlemen up here have taken a liking to me," I teased, turning away from him as a frown set on his face.

"I'm not sure I like that," Tommy mumbled, following me, his hand held tightly within my own. "Elsie, wait up." I paused at Tommy's words, turning to him just outside the closed curtain.

There was only the red fabric keeping us from the others. Tommy shifted in his place, his eyes locking with mine as I stood over him. Even a few steps up from him he was still taller than me.

"What is it?"

"Your Grandfather gave me something this morning. He said we'd be needing it if we plan on acing married." I flushed at his words. It had me wondering what it would be like if I was married to Tommy.

Would he be the same as he was now? Or would there be more? Of course, there would be more. More touching. There would be kisses involved. I flushed at the thought. Maybe thinking about Tommy and kissing wasn't a good road to go down.

"May I?" Tommy's voice pulled me out of my thoughts, and my eyes settled on the gold band he had held within in his fingers. "Your Grandfather said it was your mothers." The breath rushed from my mouth at his words. Papa always said one day I would get Mamma's ring.

"It's beautiful," I whispered, as Tommy slid the ring onto my left hand. I looked at him, wiping away the tears that had slipped down my cheeks.

Now wasn't the time to cry.

Tommy's large hand cupped my cheek, his thumb brushing over the wetness left by my tears. He gave me a sad smile before pressing his lips softly to my cheek, right where his thumb had been. The gesture was so sweet and gentle it made me wonder what was going through Tommy's head. I had never seen him this gentle before.

"Let's join your Grandfather," Tommy ordered, taking my hand within his again, this time taking the lead as he pushed through the curtain.

There were many people within the private quarters when we entered.

Mr and Mrs Harris – a wealthy banker who enjoyed spending his money as fast as he made it, and his wife, who loved being above everyone else.

Mr and Mrs Hughes – a businessman from London (though his business wasn't clear to me), he was known for bringing his mistress to many of these races, though Mrs Hughes didn't mind. It was known that she had many younger men to keep her company as well.

I knew there to be around sixteen families that owned the private rooms within the building, but there were always other people wandering around the large reception room. Most times, during the races, the reception room would be used as a secondary viewing room, the large balcony outside giving a pleasant view of the course.

"Ah, there she is, my darling girl," Papa called out, taking my free hand as he pulled me to his side.

I grimaced as I looked to the three gentlemen he was speaking with. Mr Harris, Mr Hughes, and Mr Michaels. All men that I disliked.

"Gosh, Edith, girl, don't you get prettier each time I see you!" Mr Hughes exclaimed, his eyes roaming over me, his eyes lingering a little too long on my breasts. It seems Tommy noticed as well, his arm wrapped around my waist, bringing me into his side. He was rather good at playing husband. "And who is the gentleman you brought with you?"

"Oh, sorry about that, how foolish of me," Papa started, the smile on his lips letting all of us know he hadn't forgotten Tommy. "My Elizabeth would have my ear if she knew I forgot to do introductions." He chuckled lightly at that, the three other men laughing along with him. "Nigel, Michael, Robert, this here is Thomas Shelby. Tommy, this is Nigel Harris," Papa indicated Mr Harris, the greedy banker. "This is Michael Hughes," the self-interested womanizing man was introduced next. "And of course, Robert Michaels." Mr Michaels wasn't too bad, though he did have a problem with drinking.

"It's a pleasure to meet you," Tommy stated, shaking each of their hands as they offered them.

I caught sight of Mr Harris' look. I guess they didn't mistake Tommy's accent. It was obvious once Tommy spoke that he was from Birmingham.

"Same here lad, same here," Mr Harris replied, his eyes dropping to Tommy's arm still wrapped around my waist. "You never bring people to the races, Alfred." There was a question in Harris' statement.

"Of course I don't, Nigel," Papa made it sound like Harris was being stupid. I couldn't hold back a small giggle. "Tommy is family."

"Family? What are you talking about, old boy?" Mr Hughes asked, looking at Papa as if he'd lost his mind.

"What else could I mean, Michael? You're not daft," Papa accused, rolling his eyes as the three me started at us dumbfounded.

"Edith, dear, it's fantastic news," Mr Michaels announced, stepping forward and bringing me into a hug. An awkward hug, seeing as Tommy wouldn't let me go. I knew I liked Mr Michaels over the other two. He was my favourite out of the three.

"Thank you, Mr Michaels," I mumbled, slipping out of his embrace and leaning into Tommy.

"It's just Robert, dear, after all these years, you're like the granddaughter I never had. I'm so proud to see you're happy." Robert looked between me and Tommy, taking a step closer as he peered down at me. "You are happy aren't you Edith? He is making you happy?"

"Tommy makes me very happy, Mr Michaels," I told him, sharing a glance with Tommy as I gave Michaels a true smile. "He makes me happier than I could have thought." That was true. The last couple of weeks I had spent with Tommy had made me extremely happy. Even when I was angry at him, I hadn't been happier.

"As long as you're happy Edith," Mr Michaels laughed, smiling to Tommy as he clapped him on the shoulder. "You've got yourself a beautiful girl, Mr Shelby."

"I know, Mr Michaels," Tommy replied, his words making me flush. This isn't real Elsie.

"You should be grateful you snatched her away before any of the young lads here could," Mr Hughes interrupted, his tone of voice almost accusing. "My boy, Harry, had his eye on Edith. It's a shame he didn't make his move first." I had warned Tommy of the pettiness of these people. I should have told him that the men could be just as petty as the women.

"I don't find it a shame, Mr Hughes," I told him, resting my hand on Tommy's chest as I felt him tense. "I love Thomas very much. I wouldn't wish he was another man, ever." Who knew I was so good at lying? After the whole thing with Graves, it seemed to get easier to lie.

Giving the three men a long hard look, I glanced to Papa, giving him a small smile before taking Tommy and leading him to Papa's private viewing room.

"I don't like that they call you Edith," Tommy grumbled as he dropped into a chair. I looked up at him as I poured him a glass of whiskey from Papa's collection.

"It's just a name Tommy," I told him, handing him the glass as I stood before him, looking down at him. " _A name doesn't matter._ "

"Would you speak your natural tongue in front of them?" Tommy asked as I replied to him in my family tongue. Romani was my first language, having been brought up in a gypsy family, Romani was the language taught. Alongside that, we were taught English. Having a gypsy father and a non-gypsy mother, I was raised using both, but I had a use for my Romani tongue more. Mah-mee would only speak to us in her mother tongue as children. If we didn't reply in the mother tongue, she'd pretend we weren't there until we answered her.

"No," I replied bluntly, knowing he wouldn't understand. Turning away from him, I walked over to the balcony, looking out at the track beneath us.

" _Are you ashamed of your family, Elsie?_ " Tommy wondered, his use of the Romani dialect, startling me. I hadn't thought Tommy would speak my mother tongue here. But then again, Tommy wasn't scared of what people thought of him. " _Do you care what they think?_ "

" _I don't care, Tommy! I could care less about them. I do it for Papa. I don't want him to be ashamed of having a gypsy granddaughter and be reminded of it every time I speak. They already look down on me. I don't need to give them another reason to talk about the Cromwell family. My Grandmother already despises me. She hates my mother for falling in love with a gypsy and breaking off her engagement to a wealthy man that had been picked out for her."_ I sighed deeply, resting my back against the balcony as Tommy stepped closer to me.

Tommy stopped in front of me, his eyes roaming over my flushed face as my anger slowly ebbed away. His brought his left hand up, wiping it across my cheek as he locked eyes with me.

"You're beautiful when you're angry," he mumbled, rubbing his thumb over my bottom lip as he tilted his head down towards me.

"Did I interrupt?" Papa asked, the teasing tone in his voice evident as he dropped into his chair. "You know, there isn't anyone around. You don't have to act like a married couple." He was teasing, the look of pure joy on his face as Tommy stepped away from me, setting himself in the chair beside Papa, the table between them. "You looked cosy," he joked as I dropped into the chair next to Tommy.

000

Papa's private room became busy quickly. With Gypsy Girl winning, many men came to congratulate Papa, many came to celebrate with him and more than a few came to see Tommy. News had spread fast that I had married.

It got too much for me and with a quick excuse for a moment to myself, I escaped. I felt bad for leaving Tommy, but I knew he'd be able to handle everyone without me.

"Edith, my darling, how are you?" pulled from my thoughts, I looked to see Mrs Greenhill. She was one of the only women I could stand. Along with her two daughters, both older than me.

"Oh, Mr Greenhill, it's wonderful to see you. I'm doing fine." I replied, feeling a little flustered at first. Mrs Greenhill gave me a knowing look as I rested my hand on my chest, relaxing as my cold fingertips cooled my heated skin.

"I heard you got yourself married." It wasn't a question, more like a statement.

"Oh, you heard about that?" I asked, knowing she had heard. Everyone heard about that.

"Well, of course, dear. It's all Audrey can talk about," she exclaimed, acting shocked as if she was surprised I hadn't heard. "Don't worry about it dear, we all know Mrs Hughes can't keep her mouth shut when it comes to gossip." She winked at me then, resting her hand on my arm softly as her eyes drifted over my shoulder. "I also hear that Mr Shelby is a fine-looking gentleman."

"Mother," a deep voice accused, causing both me and Mrs Greenhill to look at her approaching son. "I thought you were going to the ladies' room."

"Yes, Percy, I was darling, but then I bumped into Edith." She gave her son a pointed look before turning back to me. "Percy, be a dear and dance with Edith. She can't be standing around while others dance." I hadn't noticed that people had started to dance around us. It always amazed me who the races turned into dances.

"Be off with you woman," Percy scolded softly, as he offered his hand as pulled me out to dance with everyone else. "I'm so sorry about Mother, Elsie," he mumbled, giving me a sincere smile.

Percy was one of the only people outside of the family and house staff that knew my real name.

"Don't worry about it Percy," I sighed, knowing his mother would have done it anyway. "How's Mary and your little one?"

"They're both doing well. Mary's a bit tired but having a new baby does that to you."

"I heard it was a girl? Have you named her?"

"Elizabeth Rose. Mary wanted to name her after her grandmother."

"I bet she's a beauty, Percy," I whispered, smiling at the thought of Percy's daughter.

"Aye, she is." Percy spun me in his arms, giving me a soft smile as he brought me back into the dance. "I heard about your husband, is there going to be any baby soon?"

"Shut up Percy," I chided, hitting him lightly on the arm.

"I can just picture it now. Me coming for a visit, you in the kitchen, barefoot, pregnant and happy to see me. You'll be glowing, with a large smile on your face and I'll give you a bunch of flowers and ask how you're feeling. You'll moan and groan but smile up at me, placing one of your sweet kisses against my cheek."

"You make it sound so perfect Percy," I teased, smiling at the thought of that all happening with Tommy.

"Excuse me," speaking of the devil. We stopped to look at Tommy, his eyes glaring at Percy. "May I interrupt and dance with my wife?" Percy nodded at Tommy before turning to me and giving me a smirk.

When Tommy took my hand, I realised that Percy had done it on purpose. He had said all those things because he knew Tommy was there.

"He was joking, Tommy," I told him as I watched the man glare at Percy as he danced with his sister across the room.

"Hmm," Tommy mumbled, turning his head towards me slightly.

"He was talking about our child, yours and mine. He was teasing you about it. He's married to a wonderful woman and he has his own daughter." I assured him, as he turned away, looking over to Percy again.

Was it so hard for him to except that he got a bit jealous?

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**Did you all feel the same way about this chapter as I did?**

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	7. Breakfast Proposal

**Sorry if it's taken a while - I can't remember when I updated last, I've just been really busy with Uni work - so much coursework.**

**Hope you all enjoy xx I'd love to hear your thoughts on this chapter xx**

**Thank you for reading this story, it means so much and I'm very thankful to you all xx**

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**I'm currently editing this piece of work - when I mean editing, I mean I'll be adapting the story and plot, and I will be checking for grammar and spelling mistakes, but I may miss some as my main focus is on shaping the story so it flows well before I continue adding more chapters. I am sorry if it takes a while, but I do hope you'll all be patient with me.**

**I would recommend re-reading each new edited chapter as there may be changes that would fit in with future chapter and future edits.**

**Thank you for your time and I hope you enjoy.**

**If you do have any problems or any suggestions, please let me know.**

* * *

**Edited: 11/02/18**

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"She did well," Tommy muttered as he leaned against Gypsy Girl's stall. I smiled at him as I brushed my fingers against her neck.

"She definitely did," I agreed. I glanced around at all the other horses in the stables, my finger brushing over Gypsy Girl's mane as she sniffed at the bucket of oats we had gifted her with. They were all relaxed after the race and it was kind of peaceful down here. I preferred it to the busy rooms upstairs.

"I've been thinking," I looked to him, my eyebrows raised as I gave him a teasing smile.

"That's never a clever idea." Tommy's glare wasn't as frightening as he thought. I was quite fond of his glare. It made his bright blue eyes stand out more. That was something I liked.

"It's Finn's birthday next week," Tommy went on, ignoring the teasing smile I sent him.

"Yes, I know, we share the day." How could anyone forget, when the boy was telling everyone. Plus, he was reminding everyone that we shared our birthday.

"I was thinking about getting 'im a horse," Tommy suggested and it surprised me to find that he was actually asking for my thoughts on the matter.

Why would Tommy be asking me for help? I found it hard to believe that Thomas Shelby would ask anyone for help.

"I think that would be a wonderful," I gushed, resting my hand on Tommy's arm at the excitement rushing through me. I knew what horse would suit Finn. "Finn loves the horses at the farm, he's been asking to help out for a while now."

"You think he'll like it?" he asked. The uncertainty was clear in his voice. What had Tommy so unsure when it came to Finn.

"What's the matter, Tommy? You never seem this out of sorts when it comes to family." Tommy's jaw clenched, his fingers fiddling with the cigarettes in his pocket. When was that man not smoking, or thinking about smoking?

"Finn hasn't really been speaking to us since we got back. He mainly speaks to Aunt Pol, Ada or you." That bothered Tommy. That his little brother would rather speak to me than him. "Or John, he's more comfortable around John."

"He's nine, Tommy. He was five when you left." I could see that this was hurting Tommy, for Finn to be shying away from him. "He probably doesn't remember you that well. He's only really had us girls around and on occasion John when he came home. He doesn't really know you," I told him, knowing how Finn felt as the boy had told me. "It's only been four weeks since you've been back, he'll open up to you soon."

"It's hard, knowing Finn would rather be around people that aren't family." His lips puckered as if he was smiling at his words.

"Finn is family, Tommy." I knew he'd disagree with me. "I've been helping Pol with Finn and John's boys for four years now, they see me as family, as I see them as family," I told him, shrugging as if it wasn't a big deal.

"Aye, I know. John's boys call ya Auntie Eddie at 'ome. Drives Arthur mad, yet John doesn't mind."

"I've known John a while now, he's been back more since the war began, I suppose it had to do with Martha." Tommy was silent at the mention of his deceased sister-in-law.

"They let him stay in London for most of the war. It meant he could come down 'ere for the weekends." There sounded like resentment in Tommy's voice.

I suppose in a way, Tommy did envy, John. While Tommy was out in France, tunneling under the enemy, John could come home every weekend. It must have been hard. It was something I could never imagine.

"You know, I've been thinking about getting Polly, Ada and John's boys to start calling me Elsie. I'm not Edith, I don't feel like Edith and it really bothers me when they call me that," I told him. I shifted my hand, resting it lightly on the gate as I waited for Tommy to respond.

"I think you should do it." He dropped his cigarette on the floor, stepping on it to put it out. "After all, you are family."

Was Tommy teasing me? Was that a smile on his face?

"Oi," a voice yelled from the other end of the stables. "What are ya doing down 'ere?" a large, brutish man made his way over, a blond man walking behind him.

"Mr. Shelby?" as the blond stepped closer, we could make out Mr. Graves. He looked smart in his black suit, but his hair was messed up. Probably due to his horse losing. Oh, how the fates dealt out the justice to those that abused horses.

"Mr. Graves," Tommy replied, his hand resting on my back on the gate. His fingers brushed against my dress, a comforting gesture.

"You're not allowed down 'ere," the brutish man snapped. His arms flexing as he looked between us,

"Calm down, Cameron, I know these people." Graves muttered, giving Cameron a look. Cameron wandered off towards one of the other horses. "What brings you to the races?" The way he said it had him sounding as stuck up as the woman upstairs. He made it sound like he couldn't afford to come to the races.

"Edith wanted a day out," Tommy told him, a hostile tone causing to his voice. The way he said my name was bitter, a reminder of what we agreed to earlier about me telling his family to call me Elsie.

I had never wished for any thing more. Every time I heard Tommy call me Edith it left a bitter taste in my mouth.

"A day at the races is perfect," I added giving both men a smile. There seemed to be something between them. Something aggressive. It didn't take a smart man to know Graves was dangerous.

"Did you enjoy the race?" Graves asked. His eyes roamed over me before flicking his eyes to Tommy. That seemed like one way to get a rise out of a man, just eye his woman in front of him – I think it would work even if I was Tommy's pretend wife.

"It was fantastic, Gypsy Girl was outstanding," I gushed, knowing that he wouldn't like it if I boasted about the winning horse.

He scrunched his nose up at that. He really didn't like the fact that his horse lost. I was happy, and I knew Papa would be happy as well.

"Aye, I swear Cromwell drugs 'er," Graves grumbled, his anger at his loses shining through.

"Oh, come off it Graves," Papa's voice exclaimed as he joined us in the stables. "We both know that my darling horse has talent. There's no need to drug her."

"Lord Cromwell, great race today," Graves said, turning polite on Papa now that he was here. Graves looked at Tommy then, his eyes sparkling. "Lord Cromwell, let me introduce you to Thomas Shelby and his wife." Graves indicated to Tommy, expecting him to rush forward at the introduction.

"Yes, we've met," Papa announced, not bothering to spare Tommy a look as he kept his eyes on Graves.

"You have?"

"Tommy's my grandson-in-law," Papa told him, smiling at Tommy as he stood protectively beside me.

"She's your granddaughter?" Graves sounded disgusted at the thought. Tommy straightened up at Graves words, his jaw clenching.

I could remember the way Graves reacted to finding out I was of Gypsy blood when we went to see him. He didn't sound happy then and Tommy was angry with him.

"She is. Do you have a problem with that?" Papa asked, his tone becoming stern as he looked at Graves with distaste.

"Well, she's a gypsy ain't she," he stated as if that would explain everything.

"Aye, she is, but she's a Lady as well," Tommy said, his distrust of the man growing every second we spent with him.

"And she married you?" Both Papa and Tommy looked ready to argue with Graves at his statement. The indication that he thought lowly of Tommy really pissed me off. I hardly knew Tommy, but I could already say he was a better man that Graves.

"I married Tommy for love. Papa understood that. Tommy treats me like a Queen, Mr. Graves, I don't think I'd be treated any better if I married anyone else." I shared a look with Tommy before glancing back to Graves. "All my life, men have asked for my hand, Papa always refused, said it was up to me who I married. We both knew that everyone was after the Cromwell money. As the only heir, everything would go to me. Tommy isn't like that. He doesn't want my money and if he did, I would have still married him, because he's a better man than you'd ever be." After I snapped at him, I grabbed Tommy's hand and left the stables. I didn't want Tommy around Graves any longer. I knew he'd end up doing something stupid.

"Elsie," Tommy called, bringing me to a stop as we stopped by Papa's car. His fingers pulled on my hand until he had me against his chest, looking up into his blue eyes. "You didn't have to say that, not about me. We both know I haven't been kind to you. What you said … thank you."

"You don't have to thank me, Tommy, I know you're a better man than Graves."

His eyes traced over my face, resting on my lips as he brought his fingers up to brush against my cheek. The touch was soft, although I could feel the rough pads of his fingers. Just thinking about his fingers made me realise that Tommy may have a hard look about him, but deep inside he was a softie. He cared, and he allowed himself to sometimes look weak.

His lips pressed lightly on my own before I realised it. When I did realise I pulled back in surprise, unsure of what to do.

"Sorry," he grumbled, running his hand over his face and through his hair. He looked hurt, his eyes didn't hide that like they hid almost everything else.

"No," I whispered, feeling myself blush. Despite liking that he kissed me, I was embarrassed because it was my first kiss. "Um, you don't have to apologise, I like it."

"Why'd you pull away then?" he asked, frowning at me as I leaned back on Papa's car. I couldn't help the blush that washed my cheeks.

"Um, it was my, err, first kiss." The embarrassment was humiliating, and I wished I was anywhere but here. I caught the smirk on Tommy's lips before he stepped toward me.

"I like that," he muttered before capturing my lips against his again.

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Papa insisted that we stay the night again. By the time we got back from the races, he didn't want us driving back home too late. It was for that reason that we were all sat in an uncomfortable silence over breakfast.

Grandmother was sternly watching Tommy as he ate his cooked breakfast while Papa read through some letters that had come yesterday while we were at the races.

"Did you read the letter from Robert?" Grandmother asked, peering over to Papa as Tommy ignored her looks. She didn't want him here, but she wouldn't voice that with Papa in the room.

"Cousin Robert?" I asked wanting to know why cousin Robert had bothered to write to Papa. The last time he wrote was for money. Papa couldn't stand him. Not only was he always after the Cromwell money, but Papa said he wasn't a real man if he couldn't fight for his country.

His son, Henry, on the other hand was more welcome in the family. Henry had signed up to join the army as soon as he was of age. Now, at twenty-one, he was following Papa's footsteps and taking a step towards becoming a businessman.

With Papa's help, he'd gotten a position in a big firm in London. I had no idea what Henry was doing for work, all Papa would tell me was he was making his way into big money and could soon be the boss of his own business.

Grandmother called it man talk, she also said it had nothing to do with us women.

"Yes, and I chose to ignore it," Papa told her, the stern tone in his voice suggesting she drop it as well.

"Alfred, this is an excellent chance for Edith. Think about the life she'll have if –"

"Elizabeth, I said no!" Tommy looked up at Papa's words, his eyes flashing to me before he looked back to Papa.

"She's already eighteen, Alfred, she's nearly nineteen. You keep turning down proposals. She'll end up a wasting away and no man will want her." Grandmother spat rising from her chair and glaring at Papa as he didn't bother to look at her. "If you don't accept this proposal, I will never forgive you."

She flounced out of the room, well flounced as much as she could with a stick up her arse. Harriet, her personal maid followed her giving me a small smile as she rushed out the door.

I let my gaze drift to Papa as he huffed, dropping his letters onto the table, his jaw clenched. He was glaring into his tea and I didn't know how to start the conversation. I wanted to know more about what Grandmother and Papa were arguing about.

Tommy coughed into his napkin, and I almost laughed seeing him using it. I never thought I'd see Tommy acting the way he was in this moment. He'd even placed the napkin on his lap as he ate and was being polite towards Grandmother. I had never seen Tommy acting like this.

"Elsie, dear, you know how your Grandmother gets," Papa stated, bringing his hand to his face and rubbing at his eyes. "I'm getting too old Elsie Girl."

"Another proposal?" I asked, feeling the dread and annoyance that Grandmother had probably set this up herself.

"Your cousin Robert, has asked for your hand for Henry's sake." He said his voice letting me know he felt the same way I did.

"What? No, I couldn't marry Henry, he's family." Although in gypsy families long distance family members could be married off, it didn't feel right to me to think about getting married to Henry.

"I won't let that happen sweetheart, we made a deal and I won't go back on it because of your Grandmother."

"Thank you, Papa, but I don't want Grandma in a mood with you because she didn't get her own way again." I hated the way Grandmother was sometimes. She didn't care about those around her and I sometimes wondered if she even loved Papa.

She hated it when mum fell in love with dad and went behind their backs and married. She wasn't happy when she had me, not even bothering to call me by my given name because it was a gypsy name. she wasn't even happy when I was given her name either.

Nothing ever seemed to please her.

"You'll marry who you choose Elsie, now if you'll excuse me," Papa said, getting to his feet no doubt going after Grandmother.

"That was interesting," Tommy announced making me jump as I looked over to him. I had forgotten he was here as he was so quiet.

"Don't bother," I hissed at him rising from the table and leaving the dining room. I could tell from his face that he was going to say something.

I knew he was following me. I heard his chair push against the wood floor as he rushed out after me. I heard his feet on the stairs as he followed me to my quarters. If I had learnt one thing about Tommy, it was that he was persistent.

The fact that he was following me into my room was a sign. He knew he wasn't meant to be in here, but he closed the door softly behind him and then followed me as I sat on the edge of my bed, frowning at him.

There as something he wanted to say at the table. If I had remembered him there, I would have never brought up the conversation of the proposals with Papa. I could tell from Tommy's face that there was something he wanted to say.

"How many?"

"How many what?" I questioned, sharing the frown that was on his face. He looked distractingly handsome from where I was sitting. The light from my window shining on his and illuminating his face. His eyes were the lightest I had seen them.

"Proposals? How many proposals have you had?" He didn't sound happy at the thought and I almost smiled at his words.

"Too many to count," I replied watching the way his jaw clenched at my words. "I won't accept any of them and I don't plan on it."

"What of your Grandmother?"

"Really, Tommy, I don't plan on pleasing her. I made a deal with Papa and he agreed that I could marry the man I love and when I meet that man, I do hope he'll ask me to marry him," I said getting up off the bed and making my way towards the window.

Papa was waving his hands about as he pointed to the garden, the gardener Willie standing with him. I knew Papa was probably talking about the lake and the lake house down at the bottom of the garden.

Papa loved getting the garden done. I never understood why he always planned to start the gardening at the end of the year. Maybe the whole planning was easier to do when everything was dead, and he had an almost blank canvas.

"I hope not," Tommy grumbled, his hand settling on my shoulder as he turned me to face him, his lips capturing mine quickly before I could respond. I sighed into his kiss, bringing my hands up to run my fingers through his hair.

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**Thank you for reading xxx**


	8. Passion Can Be a Dangerous Tool

**Hey guys, another chapter for you all. I was so into the last chapter I managed to get this chapter out as well.**

**I hope you all enjoy this chapter - I'm not sure how you all felt about the last chapter but I hope you all enjoyed it.**

**Please let me know if you like how the story is going. I'm not really sure if I'm getting Tommy's character down right. I'd love to hear what you guys think. I'm hoping he's in character but I'm just worried he's not. It would be great to have some advice, so please let me know what you think xx Thanks again guys and I hope you enjoy the latest chapter xx Comet96 xx**

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**I'm currently editing this piece of work - when I mean editing, I mean I'll be adapting the story and plot, and I will be checking for grammar and spelling mistakes, but I may miss some as my main focus is on shaping the story, so it flows well before I continue adding more chapters. I am sorry if it takes a while, but I do hope you'll all be patient with me.**

**I would recommend re-reading each new edited chapter as there may be changes that would fit in with future chapter and future edits.**

**Thank you for your time and I hope you enjoy.**

**If you do have any problems or any suggestions, please let me know.**

* * *

**Edited: 11/02/18**

* * *

The drive back to Small Heath was quiet.

It wasn't an awkward silence like I had expected it to be after the kiss, but a relaxing one that was quite comforting. There was a calming silence between us that was settling. Tommy was different from other people. He made me feel like I could be myself.

Halfway back to Small Heath it started to rain.

Not heavy rain but it was enough that I was thankful that Tommy had a car and we didn't have to travel by cart like normal. Tommy didn't seem bothered by the rain, his driving slightly slower than before. He didn't say anything on the drive, only that he would be taking me back to Watery Lane so we could do business for Finn's birthday horse.

As Tommy pulled up outside his house, the rain had started to get heavier. With a shared look, we both got out of the car and rushed to the door. Even while rushing to get inside Tommy looked his usual stoic self. It was like nothing fazed him.

"Come on," Tommy ordered lightly, placing his hand at the bottom of my back as he guided me to his office at the back of the bookies. The place was empty, not the usual sight whenever I came into the betting shop.

"Where is everyone?" I asked, already an idea about where they could all be, but I wanted to hear Tommy's voice. The rough baritone was soothing and I enjoyed that it sent goose pimples over my skin.

"At the Garrison," Tommy said as he closed his office door behind me, gesturing to the chair in front of his desk. "Let's talk business."

"I never thought I'd be doing business with you, Thomas Shelby, but now … now I'm doing it twice in one week." I smiled at him as he sat in his chair, his eyes settling on my lips before he pulled a stack of paper in front of him, dipping his pen into some ink.

"Finn's horse, tell me about him," Tommy replied, ignoring my words as he left his pen raised above the paper. Charming.

"He's three years old, well trained, although he doesn't like people, he hates them."

"Why would you give him to Finn then?" Tommy interrupted, giving me a hard look. A look that sent shivers down my back. He was making me feel like a lovesick girl in romance books.

"If you didn't interrupt me, Thomas, I would have told you." The look he gave me let me know that he wasn't happy with me. Two can play his game. This whole tough act was kind of funny. He had been slightly off with me since we left the estate. Perhaps he regretted the kiss and was trying to distance himself from me.

"Go on then," he remarked, leaning back in his chair as he dropped his pen on top of the paper, leaving a stain of ink that seeped onto the paper.

"He doesn't like people, but he admires children. Never harmed one. He never will. He's a bit temperamental but I think Finn will be the perfect fit for him. They both need taming but they need each other to be tamed. He's a gentle soul, Tommy, he just needs the right handler," I told him, pushing back slightly in my chair as I took him in. He was sat straight-backed, arms placed on either side of the of the chair, his legs crossed as he took me in at the same time.

I bit my lip as I waited for him to reply. Who knew selling a horse could be this hard? Grandpappy never had any trouble and the boys seemed to bloom when a buyer was interested.

"His name?"

"Kicking Up a Storm, but we call him Storm," I said trying to keep the smile off my face as I gave the horses name.

"Kicking Up a Storm?"

"He was meant to race, but you can tell that went out the window when he tried to kill anyone that went to ride him."

"And you?"

"What about me?" I asked as Tommy got up from his chair and settled in front of me, his lower back resting against the desk. I looked up at him, my bottom lip slipping between my teeth again. Tommy made me nervous. It wasn't because I was afraid of him, it was more because he made me feel flustered. Especially after the kisses we shared.

"He ever tried to kill you?" he asked, his lips curling into a small smile as he pulled my lip from my teeth, his thumb brushing my cheek.

"Aye, a few times, Tommy," I muttered a slight Irish twang coming into my voice as I brushed my tongue against my lips, swiping his thumb as it rested on my lower lip. Within seconds Tommy had me in his arms, one looping around my waist and his other cupped my face, bringing me into a searing kiss.

Sighing deeply as Tommy dominated the kiss, I ran my hands up his arms until my fingers were running through the short hairs on the back of his head, my nails scratching their way up until I gripped onto the longer strands. Even with Tommy leading the kiss I wanted to be closer to him. Wrapping one hand around his neck, I pulled him closer to me as I stood on my toes as my chest crashed against his.

Tommy bit down on my bottom lip as his tongue swiped across the bite mark and into my mouth. It was still strange to me to have someone's tongue in my mouth, but I liked it. It tasted like the whiskey Tommy had earlier in Papa's parlour and his cigarettes. While I wasn't one for smoking, it was a different taste because it was Tommy. It didn't make sense but I liked it because I was kissing Tommy.

His grip on my waist tightened and he spun me until I was pressed into his desk. Both his hands slid down, resting on my hips, his fingers gripping onto my dress, sliding them down as he lifted me up and dropping me onto his account books.

"Tommy," I whispered as his lips roamed down my jaw, sucking on my neck. He pushed himself between my legs, my dress rising and showing off my stockings. His fingers brushed along my legs, settling on my thighs as he pulled me closer to him. "Tommy," I cried out as I felt his hardness pressing in between my legs. I had never felt anything like it before and I knew if this continued we'd both be in trouble. I went to push him away but got sucked back into the kiss when his fingers linked with mine and his lips brought me into another searing kiss.

Our linked fingers rested on the desk as he let go of my right hand and brought his left one up to cup my cheek. I struggled to breathe as I gave into his kisses. Tommy knew how to take the breath from me.

"Jesus Christ," Polly snapped causing Tommy to pull away from my lips and look to her as she stood in the doorway of his office. She looked pissed off and I was ready for her to yell.

"Aunt Pol," Tommy said clearing his throat as he stayed between my legs, looking at her.

"What are you playing at?" she hissed, slamming the door shut as she stepped into the office, pulling the blinds down on both the door and the windows. "You get caught with her and you know who you'll be answering to."

"I know," Tommy stated his voice not allowing any emotions to slip out.

"You know. You know, well that's fucking great, Thomas. What do you think would happen if it was someone else that stumbled across you both, huh? If I didn't come in, would it have gone further? You know what would happen if you slept with her, Tommy?"

"I know, Pol," Tommy said again, his tone getting sharper as she looked at him with disbelieving eyes. "I'm gonna take her home now, Pol."

"Aye, you do that, Tommy. You do that."

I glanced at Polly as Tommy helped me off the desk, his thumb brushing against my hand as he held it in his own as he pulled me out of his office. Polly gave me a small strained smile as she watched us go, her eyes showing the concern she was feeling.

* * *

"Thank you," I whispered to Tommy as he followed me to the paddocks.

"For?" he asked, a cigarette between his lips as he walked by my side, his hand resting on my back. I felt like that was his way of showing people I was his. While I might not be his, he sure was possessive of what he thought was his. I could only assume that he thought I was his now, after all the kissing.

"Bringing me home, coming with me to my grandparents and for being polite to my Grandmother," I told him, leaning against the fence of Aden's paddock. Wen was in there with him, the two of them getting along well in the last week since Tommy brought them here. "Especially being polite to my Grandmother," I teased, as I rested my head against the damp fence, closing my eyes as the weak sunlight shone on them through the dark clouds. "Why were you so nice to her, Tommy? No one else is, yet you were."

"I want her to like me," he replied dropping his cigarette onto the floor, stepping on it as he rested on the fence next to me.

"Why?" I wondered, confused at his words. No one wanted my Grandmother to like them. Hell, I wasn't even that bothered about her liking me. I had Papa and he loved me more than she ever could.

"I like you and I want your family to like me," he grumbled brushing his fingers against Wen's neck as she came over to us.

"When have you ever cared about people liking you?"

Tommy looked at me, his blue eyes stern as he took in my face. It made me wonder what he was thinking about. His left hand brushed against my cheek as he tugged lightly on a loose curl, tucking it behind my ear.

"You're beautiful, Elsie, you know that," his words made me flush and I looked away from him as I pulled my lip between my teeth to suppress the smile.

"Tommy," I sighed looking across to the other paddocks, my eyes settling on Storm as he charged around the field, kicking up a fuss. He was true to his name. "That's Storm." I nodded at the horse as he huffed out.

Tommy followed my nod, looking at the brown horse as he galloped around in his paddock trying to find a way out.

"You sure he's a fit for Finn?" I could hear the apprehension in his voice as he took in the horse.

"I know he looks dangerous Tommy but I'm certain he's the one for Finn."

"Alright," he took a step towards the horse before reaching back and grabbing my hand. His fingers brushed mine before he let go and started towards the house.

While we might have a farmhouse on the land, not many of the family liked living in it. Mah-mee had made an occasional stay, but she and Grandpappy tended to sleep in their caravan, like most of the family. Donnie was the only one that really lived in the house with me. He got a room for him and Paddy and I got my room. The other, larger room was left for the younger kids to share if they wanted to get away from their parents. It was Mah-mee's idea and as usual, she had the best ideas.

I smiled as I followed Tommy into the house, knowing things would be changing from here on out.

* * *

Finn's face was worth the moaning we all had to put up with throughout the week. He wanted this and he wanted that, he wanted everything for his birthday. Pol told him to shut up or he wouldn't be getting anything.

That, of course, caused him to complain and get into a few tantrums over the week. Arthur told him he wouldn't be getting anything either because he was annoying and annoying kids didn't get anything for their birthday. Pol had to then tell Arthur to stop being an idiot and to leave Finn alone.

Now that the day had arrived, Finn couldn't contain his excitement. As promised, Mah-mee had the Lee family set up the fair on the farm for the day. Finn and John's boys loved it and even Ada rushed off in excitement, Polly scolding her as she followed at a more dignified pace.

Tommy had been tense when he first turned up and took in the Lee family. While there may have been Lee's in my family, they were different to the other Lee's. It got confusing really with two Lee families in the area. There was our Lee's and then their Lee's. It was confusing, and the young kids didn't know who family was and who wasn't.

"So, I was telling Helen that she just needed to get over him, don't you agree?" Ada asked. I looked at her, wondering what she was talking about.

"What was that, Ada?" I kept my eyes on her this time, afraid that if I looked over to Tommy I wouldn't hear her again.

"I was telling Helen that it would never happen between her and Tommy, so she should just forget about him," Ada said. I could tell that she was annoyed that she had to tell me again.

I looked over to Tommy as he sat with Arthur and John, the three of them sitting at one of the tables, drinking the beer that Mah-mee gave them earlier. Donnie and Maddox sat with them, the five of them all talking about God knows what.

"She likes Tommy?" I asked feeling something bubbling inside me at the thought of Ada's friend, Helen liking Tommy. "Does he like her?" I couldn't help but ask.

"God no, Tommy doesn't seem interested in anyone since he came back." I felt like I was going to be sick at that. If Tommy wasn't interested in anyone then why had he kissed me. "Though I say that and then he goes and spends all his time with you. I think he likes you," Ada added, wiggling her eyebrows as she spun me around to face her brothers. "See, he's been watching you."

"Ada," I whispered, shaking her hands from my shoulders as I felt my cheeks flush. She was right, Tommy was watching me.

"I think you two would make a wonderful couple. I really do hope he doesn't mess this up." With her, words she gave me a quick hug before bouncing off towards Helen. I didn't like the blonde-haired woman, Helen just seemed like bad news.

I bit my lip as I glanced back over to Tommy, turning away quickly when his eyes rested on me. Why was I acting so shy? I had no problem when he was standing between my legs kissing me, but I was blushing just from a look.

" _Blessed be, Elsie_ ," Aunt Tillie called out, her red hair blinding me for a minute as she smothered me in a hug. He blue eyes ran over my face before dropping down to the light blue dress I was wearing. " _How's my favourite niece? Nineteen and not married. You best watch yourself girly, Mah-mee will be marrying you off to the Lee's._ " her words were not comforting for me.

With all the proposals Papa had been getting, I should have been expecting Mah-mee to find some suitor for me. It was unusual for a gypsy girl not to be married off as soon as she turned sixteen. I had three extra years added onto that and knew it wouldn't last long until I had suitors coming from all over.

" _Blessed be, Tillie. Do you mind giving me a minute?_ " I asked, rushing off before she could reply. As I rushed to the paddocks I kept bumping into the Lee family. Not my side of the Lee family, but those Lee's. each one of them gave me a large smile, pressing a kiss to my check before rushing off and leaving me breathless.

All I could think about was marrying one of them.

Had Mah-mee already made an agreement with one of them? What would the dowry be? The farmhouse? The money I was to inherit?

" _Oh, Aden, what am I gonna do?_ " I whispered to the horse as I walked over to him in the paddock. Aden nudged my head lightly, his breath blowing my curls as if he was trying to comfort me.

"You should be celebrating," Tommy's voice called out as he made his way over to us. How did he always find me?

"I'm not in the mood," I sighed brushing my fingers through Aden's hair as I avoided looking at the man.

"I heard what your aunt said to you."

"How? You were sat down away from us," I grumbled, not liking that he knew these things. Pol had told me that since Tommy came back and started up the Peaky Blinders again, he had informants around every corner. Had he got someone to spy on me?

"I got up. I was coming to talk to you, but I overheard your conversation," he said, a cigarette between his lips as he lit it. "Are to be married to a Lee?"

I almost laughed at his words but couldn't because I didn't know. I could be. I shrug at him, not bothering to answer because I didn't know how to respond.

"I might be. I don't really know, Tommy." I sighed deeply, closing my eyes as I turned to face him. Maybe he knew. "Do you know Tommy? Have any of your informants told you I'm not be married?"

"No, I haven't got anyone following you or your family." For some reason, I couldn't believe him.

"You're lying to me. Do you think I can't see Kyle when he follows me around like a puppy?" I hissed at him, crossing my arms against my chest as I looked up at him.

He truly looked like a gangster leader as he stared down at me. He showed no emotions on his face, the blank look making me regret my words. How could I forget that he was dangerous? He looked dangerous as he stared down at me.

"I'm not lying to you," he gritted out throwing his cigarette down as he stepped towards me.

"You are, Kyle's not exactly subtle when he follows me around. Why have you got him following me?" I asked. I wanted to understand why he had Kyle following me. I'd spoken to Kyle and he was a nice boy, but surely, he could be doing something better than following me.

"What's gotten into you?"

"Nothing!" I shouted pushing away from him as I frowned. "Actually, I'm pissed off. Everyone's rushing to get me married off, but what if I don't want to marry yet? I want to stay and help these horse, but I can't do that if I'm expected to be married. Once I'm married I'll be expected to have children and then I'll have no time to do anything I want to do."

"You sound like Ada," Tommy muttered, his eyes looking over me carefully.

"I don't want to be bossed about by an arrogant man that thinks he can make a claim over me just because we're married."

"I wouldn't treat you like that, Elsie," he said. I wanted to believe him, but he was just like every other man. He had me lying to Graves, so he could buy horses. I wasn't sure if I wanted to be lying to people.

"I'm not sure about that, Tommy. I don't even know who you are," I pointed out, reminding him we'd only known each other for two weeks.

"I'm a man, Elsie, just a man," he argued taking another step towards me, his hand reaching out for me, but I slapped him away.

"But you're not just a man are you Tommy? You're in charge of the Peaky Blinders no matter what Arthur thinks. You bet illegally, you start fights with people and I know something's going on with Graves. You're dangerous and I don't think I want that in my life." I cried, wiping angrily at the tear that rolled down my cheek.

Tommy didn't say anything as he looked at me. He didn't say anything as he turned away from me and walked out the paddock. He didn't say one word and that's what hurt the most.

He could have fought back. He could have said something, anything, but he didn't.

Dropping my head into my hands I cried out as I watched him walk away. Why did it hurt so much if I hardly knew him?

* * *

**Thank you for reading xx**

**I hope you all enjoyed the chapter - please let me know what you think if possible. I could really do with some advice xx Thanks xx Comet96 xx**


	9. Distance Makes the Heart Grow Fonder

**Sorry, it's taken so long to update. This story's been on my mind a lot lately but I found it hard to get this chapter out. I've had the first half of this story for a few weeks but the last half was a nightmare to write.**

**I hope you all enjoy this chapter.**

**Thanks for reading xx Comet96 xx**

* * *

**I'm currently editing this piece of work - when I mean editing, I mean I'll be adapting the story and plot, and I will be checking for grammar and spelling mistakes, but I may miss some as my main focus is on shaping the story, so it flows well before I continue adding more chapters. I am sorry if it takes a while, but I do hope you'll all be patient with me.**

**I would recommend re-reading each new edited chapter as there may be changes that would fit in with future chapter and future edits.**

**Thank you for your time and I hope you enjoy.**

**If you do have any problems or any suggestions, please let me know.**

* * *

**Edited: 11/02/18**

* * *

Polly was stood looking at me, her arms crossed as she smoked her cigarette. Ada sat opposite me, the smile on her face grew as she waited for Polly to talk. It's not like I had decided I was going to sail to America. All I told her was that I was going to start going by Elsie and not Edith.

"What made you choose that?"

"Harry got me that job at the school and I told them my name was Elsie. I feel that it would only make sense if everyone started calling me it," I told her. When I went into the school to fill out the forms they asked for my first name and I felt like I couldn't use Edith.

"And this has nothing to do with Tommy?" I flushed at her words, but it really didn't have anything to do with Tommy.

"It doesn't have anything to do with." I bit my lip as I looked between Ada and Polly. I should at least tell them the truth. "It has to do with my grandmother. She insisted that I went by Edith. She didn't like that I was giving Elsie as my first name and when mum went to her after my birth, she said she'd only accept me if I had a proper name and not a gypsy one."

"And why are you going by Elsie now? What changed?" Polly wondered. It felt like I was being scolded as she kept her eyes on me. I felt like I was being told off by my mother.

"Tommy said something the other day and it made me realise that I've been hiding my gypsy heritage. I'm not ashamed to be a gypsy but I feel like I am when I let everyone call me Edith. They all know my real name, but I kept on insisting they call me Edith. It doesn't feel right." I explained, fiddling with my fingers as I waited for her view on this.

"Why have you told me this? You could have just told us to start calling you Elsie, but you had to ask my opinion."

"I respect you, Polly. You're like a mother to me and I respect your opinion." It was the truth. Over the last four years, Polly had been like a mother to me and I did value her opinion.

Polly walked over to me, cupping my chin as she gave me a soft smile. Her fingers brushed over my chin as she sighed deeply as if the universe had been lifted from her shoulder.

"I love you like a daughter too, and I'm honoured that you value my opinion. You do what feels right. If that means we start calling you Elsie, then that's fine." She pressed a kiss to my forehead, her hand running over my hair. "I always did prefer it to Edith."

I gave her a smile as Ada started clapping in her seat. She looked to be excited about something and it made me curious.

"I hated the name," Ada said. "Elsie is more elegant and it's such a beautiful name. Plus, it felt weird calling you Edith. It's a snobby name and you're not a snobby conniving bitch like your grandmother," she said, reaching over and giving my hand a squeeze.

I laughed. It was such an Ada thing to say. This was why she was my best friend. It didn't matter to us that there was an age gap, we got on well.

"Auntie Eddie!" Jacob yelled coming in and rushing to me as he rushed into the kitchen. We could hear the clambering of footsteps that told us that Jacob's brothers would be joining us.

"I think you should tell them now, so they don't keep calling you Eddie," Polly muttered going over and putting the kettle on to boil.

"I think that's a good idea," I agreed as Matthew and William came in, fighting as usual. For a set of twins, those two didn't get on well. Michael, the eldest, shoved them both apart as he then turned back to Finn. "Boys, I want to talk to you."

"Have we done something wrong?" Finn asked. I rose my eyebrows at him. he wouldn't have asked if they hadn't done something for them to get shouted at for.

"No, is there something you wish to tell me?" Finn shook his head quickly sharing a look with Michael who was shaking his head as well. Those two were up to something.

"No."

"Fine, okay. That's not what I wanted to talk to you about. I'm sure you've all heard Tommy calling me Elsie?" They nodded, each of their brows furrowed in confusion. "Well, he's been doing that because it's my name."

"But I thought your name was Edith?" Michael asked, sharing another look with Finn.

"It is, but it's my middle name. My first name is Elsie and I want you to start calling me that." I told them, bring Jacob into my lap as he struggled to climb up.

"Is that why your cousins call you Ellie?" Finn asked. He was obviously referring to the night when Donnie called me Ellie in The Garrison.

"It is," I said, nodding at him. Jacob squirmed in my lap until he was facing me, his arms wrapped around my neck.

"Can we call you Auntie Ellie?" he muttered, his head tilted to the side as he waited for me to reply.

"If that's what you'd like to call me."

"It sounds just like Auntie Eddie," Matthew pointed out earning a small smile form me.

"It does. And you won't forget that you're not to call me Edith or Eddie anymore, right?"

"We're not babies!" William snapped. Matthew pushed him at his words and I bit my lip to stop from laughing as the boys started fighting.

"Stop," Polly said not even having to raise her voice. Matthew and William groaned but they both pulled themselves off the floor. "Go back to your room and play while we get dinner ready."

The twins rushed off, their elbows shoving into each other as they made a dash upstairs, Michael on their heels. Jacob pressed a sloppy kiss to my cheek before slipping off my lap and following his brothers.

"I like the name Elsie," Finn said, giving me a small smile as he looked to Polly before rushing out of the room as well.

"That wasn't too bad," Ada said, bringing the cup of tea to her lips seconds after Polly set it down.

"I bet it left them confused though," I muttered, letting my fingers warm up on my cup.

"No use worrying about it now," Polly said taking a seat at the table. I nodded at her words, looking at Ada with a soft smile.

000

" He's so fast, Ellie. Tommy says one day when I get bigger I can ride 'im in the woods by the farm. Do you think I could do that? Do you think Tommy was just saying that? Arthur said he was gonna sell Storm. Could he do that? Sell Storm that is? He's my horse. You won't let Arthur sell 'im would you Ellie?" Finn asked later that evening, following me around as I pulled the pies out of the oven, setting them on the side.

He had ignored John when he told him to shut up and sit down.

"Arthur was just winding you up, Finn. The horse belongs to you. He won't be able to sell it without Tommy's say so," I told him, popping the pies on the lined-up plates as I shared a glance with Polly.

"Finn," she called gaining the attention of her youngest nephew. "why don't you go get your nephews ready for dinner. Make sure they wash their hands!" she yelled after him as he stomped off upstairs to the spare room used for the boys. She turned to look at John then, giving him a look as he chewed on his toothpick. "You best go get Tommy and Arthur from the pub. We've got a meeting after dinner." John rose from his seat, sighing deeply as he did as he was told. Even at twenty-four, he listened to her.

"Thanks, Pol," I muttered as I turned back to the dinners and started adding mash and veg to the plates. "I think it's about time John should consider getting a nanny for the boys. He can't always rely on you to watch them for him," I added knowing how Polly struggled to watch the boys and do the accounting for Tommy.

"Don't you mean you? You're the one that's chasing after them all when you ain't working at The Garrison or the farm. It's running you down, love." Polly gave me the same pointed look she reserved for her nephews when they went to argue. She rose her eyebrows as she glanced to the door, her cigarette held in her fingers delicately. "What I want to know is why you and Tommy are making it a job to avoid each other." I paused at her words, biting my lip as I continued to dish up dinner. I knew she was waiting for Ada to leave before asking.

"What are you talking about? We're not avoiding each other," I grumbled, trying not to get annoyed at the thought of Tommy. He had been on my mind constantly the past week and I didn't want to think about him now. Not when I had been trying to put him in the past.

I glanced at Polly quickly to see that she was giving me a look that stated she didn't believe me. Before she could answer Finn rushed in followed by John's boys.

Michael was talking to Jacob, who looked about to burst out into tears. Matthew and William were looking mischievous as they followed their brothers in, it seemed the two of them had gotten over whatever they were fighting about earlier.

I never understood those two. One minute they were fighting and the next they were planning pranks. I sometimes wondered how John even managed five minutes with the boys. All four of them were different, even the twins, who were often caught picking on Jacob.

"Take your dinner into the back-room boys," Polly ordered not taking her eyes off me as we waited for the boys to collect their plates and leave. They did so silently, Finn handing Matthew and William their plates and handing Michael his before leaving with two other plates in his hand. I watched as they all followed Finn out of the room, Jacob closing the door behind them with a small wave to me. "Tell me what's going on, Elsie. Am I going to be walking in on you two again?"

"That was once," I said resting her plate in front of her before setting the other plates onto the table as well, ready for when John got back with Arthur and Tommy. "I decided to stop things before it got to be too much. I don't want things to be complicated between us. I don't want anything to change. I don't want … I don't want any of this." I waved my hand in front of me as if that would explain everything to her.

"That's a bit late, love," Polly muttered digging into her dinner as she gave me a small smile.

"What does that mean?" she didn't answer me but gave me a certain look, one that made me think that I should know what she was getting at. "Polly?" she went to reply but John barged into the room.

The door banged against the wall. He shrugged off his jacket and dropped into his chair, already starting on his dinner. Arthur followed him in but instead came over to me a large smile on his face.

"Thanks for the food, love," he chuckled as he bent down and placed a kiss on my cheek before dropping into the chair next to John and following his actions as he dug in.

I glanced over to Tommy as he leaned against the doorframe. I frowned as I pulled off my apron, setting it on the back of one of the empty chairs. I wrung my fingers in my skirt as I made my way to the door.

"I'll catch you in the morning, Pol." I gave her a small smile, taking a deep breath as I walked over to Tommy, waiting for him to get out of the way. I knew what he was doing. He was trying to get me to react to him. He knew I wasn't going to ask him to move, but that wouldn't stop him from trying. I wasn't going to speak to him, I promised myself that I wouldn't speak to him.

I told myself I wasn't going to involve myself with Tommy anymore or try and avoid him as much as I could. It seemed Polly had already noticed that, and I could bet that Tommy had too

I couldn't move on from him if I didn't give myself a chance to move on. Tommy was everywhere and that wasn't helping me.

I could feel his eyes roaming over my face and I fought the urge to look up at him. If I was strong enough to get over him or whatever it was we had going on between us, then he would move on as well.

With a deep sigh, Tommy stepped out of the way allowing me to slip past him and out of the house.

The cool air of the evening was refreshing as I made my way toward The Garrison and it helped clear my head of everything to do with Tommy.

I hesitated for a second outside the pub, wanting to take a moment to myself before I had to join in on the night's chaos, I knew if I had my mind on Tommy I wouldn't be getting much done.

Harry was working the bar when I entered and I was thankful I took a moment to myself as soon as I saw how busy it was tonight. Harry sent me a smile as I joined him, setting my coat on the self under the bar before turning to take my first order for the night.

"It's gonna be a busy night tonight, Ellie," he said. I gave him a soft smile. I had told Harry that I was going to be going by my given name now this morning when I bumped into him on the way to Polly. He seemed just as pleased as Polly and Ada.

000

"Another," Doug slurred. His fingers pushing his glass toward me as he slumped over the bar. Shooting a look at Joey, I closed my eyes as I took Doug's glass and set it on the counter.

"I think you've had enough Doug," I told him knowing what was going to happen. He'd complain, state that he was fine and threaten me in some way before Joey told me to give him another pint.

"I'll tell you when I've had enough," there was a threat in his voice, one that I didn't want to hear so with a sigh I filled his glass with his usual beer and set it in front of him taking the money Joey slid towards me. Doug pulled away from the bar and stumbled to their table as Joey watched him with a shake of his head.

"You've got to sort him out Joey," I said to the only Lee man I got on with that wasn't in my family.

"Aye, what he needs is a wife to settle down with," Joey mumbled giving me a wink as he brought up the conversation Doug was having earlier.

"And as I already told Dougie, I'm not marrying one of you Lee boys." While Joey was joking, I was dreading the fact that I might one day end up marrying one of them.

Joey went to say something but the doors opening to The Garrison cut him off as he watched the three eldest Shelby's enter, Tommy at the front leading them. His eyes wandered around the pub before settling on me and eventually Joey.

A muscle twitched in his jaw as he stepped toward the bar, his eyes not straying from Joey.

"What's a Lee doing in my pub?" he asked, his voice alluring and hypnotizing.

I closed my eyes for a second to brush away the way he managed to lure me in with his voice. It was like he was purposely doing everything to make me like him.

"I didn't know it was your pub, Shelby. Didn't see your name on the door," Joey fired back, raising his glass to his lips as he took in the way Tommy stood in front of him.

I wanted to scold Joey for talking to Tommy like that, but the Lee's had never got on with the Shelby's and I didn't want to put myself in between that.

"It might not have my name above the door, but this is my pub." Tommy's eyes drifted to me for a second before going back to Joey.

It was hard to get a read on Tommy and he always seemed to avoid locking his eyes with me. He was like a horse, his eyes told me everything and I think he knew that. Tommy was a man that didn't like people knowing how he felt.

"I pay for my drinks. Have you got a problem with that? Or is it because I'm a Lee?" The silence in the pub seemed to make their conversation tenser. It was like no one was breathing in fear that they'd set Tommy off.

"I've got no problem," Tommy said leaning against the bar as he took in Joey, "as long as you pay."

"To paying," Joey toasted lifting his glass toward Tommy, "and pretty barmaids."

Tommy looked to me, his eyes dropping to my hands as I twisted a bar rag in my hands. At his look, I dropped the rag and rushed to collect three glasses and a bottle of rum, setting them in front of him.

As Tommy poured the drinks the noise picked up in the pub again and everyone started to relax at the lack of fight. Was this what I was always to expect around Tommy? People expecting a fight to break out?

"Pol told me you've got my boys starting school in the new year," John said as he stood opposite me, his hand grabbing the glass Tommy filled for him.

"I thought it best to get them off the streets and started into school," I told him ignoring Tommy's eyes on me. "It might get Finn back at school as well."

"Aye, since Martha … they've been running around like a pack of dogs." John looked ashamed for a moment but I knew how hard he tried with the boys.

"You've tried with them John, it's not like you've abandoned them. I think they miss their mum," I told him, resting my hand on his lightly as a comforting gesture. I could feel Tommy's eyes resting on my hand and quickly moved it from John's, glancing to him.

His stare was like two daggers piercing my skin and sinking in deep. The blue orbs of his eye made me think that he knew exactly what I was feeling.

"I don't know what I'd do without you," John admitted, rubbing the back of his head as he took off his cap and rested it on the bar. I flushed at his words, knowing that he meant them. Just knowing that John appreciated my help made me feel great.

"Shouldn't you be working?" Tommy asked, causing me to look at him. His eyes were resting on his empty glass. His jaw was clenched and his nose was flaring like he'd smelt something bad. "You don't get paid to talk." He looked up at me then, his eyes flashing to John quickly.

"Don't listen to him, love," Arthur crooned as he nudged Tommy with his shoulder. "He's been in a mood all week."

"I wonder why?" John mumbled giving Tommy a pointed stare that had me wondering about Tommy. What had him so … moody Pol had told me a few days ago that it was because of me, but I was finding that hard to believe.

I had seen Tommy a lot over the past week. It was one of the reasons I was finding it hard to forget him. He was always there. One second he'd be on my mind and the next he'd be right in front of me. There was no escaping him.

He didn't look moody or grumpy as Pol and Arthur put it. He looked calm and collected. He kept his gaze cool as he took in everything around him. He was smart about his business and I hadn't seen him lose his temper with anyone for no good reason.

"Oi, Nell," Doug called out, using the nickname the Lee boys had given me. They thought it was genius calling me by a shortened version of my last name. It was either Nell or Nellie.

A few days after the party, most of the single Lee men had come over to the farm to ask for my hand as their wife. Of course, it had only been a joke and Maddox scared them off, but it hadn't stopped them from crowning me with my new name.

"I dropped a bit of ale. Come wipe it up, love." I rolled my eyes as I grabbed the rag, giving Joey a look as he followed me to Doug's table.

"Can we agree that he's had enough?" I asked, pulling the glass away from Doug as he slouched in his chair.

"Aye," Joey agreed looking to his brother, shaking his head. I could tell that Joey had no clue what to do with him.

"You'll make a good wife, Nellie," Doug slurred, grabbing hold of my wrist as I went to leave. "You wanna come back with me? We can taint you, then you'd have to marry me." Doug's grip tightened at his words.

I hadn't ever feared Doug before, but something told me he would follow through with his words.

"You've had too much to drink, Doug," I warned him sensing the three Shelby men behind me watching. Lord, I hope they stay quiet. "Let me go and Joey will take you home."

"You gonna come with me?"

I gave Joey a look, one that told him he needed to get his brother under control.

"Doug let her go." Joey clapped Doug on the shoulder as he rose from his seat. Joey bent down and whispered in Doug's ear. "Tommy's watching." I wondered why it made a difference if Tommy was watching. Did Joey fear Tommy? Was he scared Tommy would do something? "We all know Elsie is his."

What was that? What did he mean? I wasn't Tommy's.

I watched something flash across Doug's face before he yanked me to him. I would have ended up in his lap if he wasn't so drunk, but I ended up tripping over my own feet and landed on the floor on my knees.

It happened quite fast. I was taking in the fact that I was on the floor when Tommy was in front of me. Except he wasn't facing me.

Within seconds he had his hand wrapped around Doug's neck and was throwing him into the bar. I watched Tommy as he took a few long strides to Doug and grabbed his head smacking it twice into the bar.

"You touch her again and I'll make sure you have no hands!" Tommy spat, slamming Doug's head onto the bar again.

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**Thank you for reading xx Comet96 xx**


	10. Open Wounds Sting

**Hope you enjoy this chapter - sorry if it took a while.**

**Thanks for the reviews - I love how supportive you all are.**

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**I'm currently editing this piece of work - when I mean editing, I mean I'll be adapting the story and plot, and I will be checking for grammar and spelling mistakes, but I may miss some as my main focus is on shaping the story, so it flows well before I continue adding more chapters. I am sorry if it takes a while, but I do hope you'll all be patient with me.**

**I would recommend re-reading each new edited chapter as there may be changes that would fit in with future chapter and future edits.**

**Thank you for your time and I hope you enjoy.**

**If you do have any problems or any suggestions, please let me know.**

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**Edited: 11/02/18**

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"What the hell is your problem, Tommy?" I spat as I helped Joey bring Doug to his feet. Ignoring the stern look Tommy gave me, I lifted Doug's face to see the blood pouring from his nose. "You better get him back 'ome, Joey." I looked at Joey to see him looking at Tommy, a weary look on his face.

"Aye, sure Elsie, darling. I'll be seeing you soon," he muttered dragging Doug out of the pub.

As I watched Joey leave I could hear people getting up around me and glanced to see that the other gents in the pub had started to get up to leave as well. Had Tommy given them an order? Were they all leaving because of him?

"Elsie?" John called out, his hand resting on my shoulder lightly as he got my attention. "Tommy's sent everyone 'ome. Harry's gone too, but the boys will be 'ere for a few drinks later. You're fine to stay 'ere with Tommy, right?" John was being considerate to me, giving me the chance to turn down staying with Tommy on my own.

As I looked over to Tommy, I could tell that he wanted to speak to me without his brothers being around. There were a few things I needed to say to him as well.

"I'll be alright John," I assured him, rubbing at my wrist where Doug had grabbed me. I'd probably get a bruise there, I always bruised easily. "I'll see you later, right?" I asked wanting to know if John was planning on returning.

"I'll be walking you back 'ome later," he announced before leaving with Arthur, giving one last look to Tommy.

The silence was eating at me and it was only made worse because I could feel Tommy's eyes on me as I stood there. I was trying to sort out my thoughts before I faced him. Why did he have to make things difficult? Why did I have to make things difficult? Mah-mee would say we were as bad as each other. Polly would agree.

"Are you gonna look at me?" Tommy asked breaking the silence. His voice was irritating because it was the same as usual. Did he not care that he had just smashed someone's face into the bar?

Glancing over my shoulder at him, I let out a breath of disbelief when I saw him drinking his rum, leaning against the bar as if nothing had happened. It didn't bother me that he'd hurt someone. It bothered me because it had happened because of me.

"I could have handled Doug on my own. I didn't need you interfering Tommy," I told him, stepping up to the bar and snatching the glass away from his hand. His eyes locked with me then, the piercing blue stealing my breath away.

He was a dangerous man. I don't know why I kept forgetting that he was a man that killed. Tommy didn't care. That wasn't right. Tommy looked like he didn't care but there was something in his eyes that told me he did care. If he didn't care then he wouldn't have nightmares every night. If he didn't care he wouldn't be out there hurting people to get everything he could for his family.

"Didn't look that way to me," Tommy grunted, sliding John's glass across the bar, filling it with rum. He looked at me pointedly as he downed the glass, slamming it down when there was nothing left.

"You didn't give me the chance," I snapped, copying his action with the glass in my hand.

A sharp pain cut into my palm as the glass shattered under the pressure and I pulled my hand away, cradling it to my chest as I hissed out in pain. It seemed I would always be in pain around Tommy.

"Let me look," he ordered turning to face me as I stepped away from him. "Stop being stubborn and let me look," he argued, grabbing my hand and uncurling my fingers.

There was one large piece of glass sticking out of my palm and Tommy quickly plucked it from the cut, dropping it. His fingers were pressing down on the cut with the abandoned bar rag I'd left on the bar.

"That hurts," I hissed trying to move my hand from his.

"It's not too deep," Tommy said, gripping my hand gently in his.

I could feel his eyes on me again but didn't look at him. I don't think I could deal with him. Not now while he was being nice. It was things like this that made me wish everything was fine between us. It was this reason why I was finding it so hard to forget about him and move on.

"Thank you," I whispered as he tied the rag around my hand, keeping the wound covered.

"I'm sorry," Tommy replied causing me to look up at him to see him with a frown on his face.

"For what?"

"The way—"

"Mr Shelby," a familiar voice called out, interrupting the moment between Tommy and I. Glancing to the doors, forgetting that they had been left unlocked, stood Graves with three of his men. "Did we interrupt?" Not like he cared. It was easy to see that Graves was happy at the fact that he'd gotten to Tommy. And he did get to Tommy.

The tightness in Tommy's cheeks was enough to let me know that he was pissed with the interruption. There was also the way his eyes because as sharp as a knife. A knife that would be willing to slit Graves' throat.

"No, I was just waiting for Elsie to finish up," Tommy replied, as I turned to face Graves. His hand rested on my hip as he pulled me into his body, my back resting against his front. The possessive hold on my hip had Graves looking down with a smirk.

"Sounded more like an argument to me," Graves said making me wonder how much he had heard. "I thought your name was Edith?"

"The pubs closed," Tommy told him sternly. I had to bit my lip to stop myself from laughing at Tommy's change in subject. He obviously didn't want to be bothered by Graves.

"The door was open."

"We were just closing up," I spoke up not wanting to see where this could go between the two of them. They were both stubborn and it just seemed that Graves was aiming to piss Tommy off.

"Ah, so she does speak. I thought you'd lost your tongue for a minute there Mrs Shelby," Graves laughed glancing to his son as he stood next to him. "Is your dear husband still treating you like a queen? Or does he get a bit violent to prove he's in charge?" Graves nodded down to my bloody hand wrapped in the cloth at his words. I felt Tommy tense behind me, his hand brushing against my back. I knew where he kept his gun and it felt like he was going for it.

"Tommy's never laid a hand on my Mr Graves, this was just an accident from tidying up. My husband was kind enough to wrap it for me until we can get home," I told him reaching behind me and tugging Tommy's hand away from his gun. It wouldn't do us any good if he ended up killing Graves in front of his men. They outnumbered us and our chances of surviving were not good.

"Mmm," grumbled Graves, his eyes traveling from me to Tommy. "You've been ignoring me Mr Shelby and I don't like it."

"I've hardly been ignoring you, Graves," Tommy stated confidently making my stomach flip at the confidence oozing from his voice. "I've been ignoring your men. If you want my time, you should have come to me yourself."

"My men told me they left you with my message," Graves huffed out, annoyed at the way Tommy was treating him.

"And I told your men that you can stick your deal up your—"

"Tommy!" I snapped cutting him off before he could anger Graves more than he had.

"Did my men also tell you what would happen if you decided against the deal?" Graves asked, a slight smirking playing on his lips as Tommy tensed behind me, his hand gripping my hip tightly.

Tommy twisted me to face him then, his eyes flashing across my face before looking to Graves over my head.

"Elsie, go home," Tommy ordered, taking my hand in his and giving it a slight squeeze.

"Tommy—"

"Go home, now."

"No," I snapped not caring that Graves was there to witness the way I was speaking to Tommy. "I won't leave you here alone." Tommy grabbed hold of my arm, tugging me closer to him, which also blocked him from Graves' view.

"Go home to Polly, now." The stern look in his eyes told me he wasn't messing around. It also told me that Graves was a lot more dangerous than Tommy wanted me to believe.

"I'm not just gonna—" Tommy cut me off as he moved his hand up my arm until he was cupping the back of my neck, tilting up my head. Our eyes locked and I could finally see something other than his calculated calm. It was fear. Tommy was afraid. Not for himself, but for me.

"El, you leave this pub and you pull one of the boys off the street. You tell 'im, Tommy said he has to walk you 'ome to Pol. You understand that?" I nodded my head, starting to feel the fear growing in my gut as Tommy whispered his words. It surprised me that Graves hadn't interrupted. "Good. When you get 'ome, you tell John and Arthur that I'm 'ere and you tell them who I'm with. Okay?"

"Okay, Tommy," I sighed trying to stop the panic as I thought of leaving Tommy here alone with Graves and his men. I wish I could stay with him, but I knew Tommy would never have me put in danger. It didn't matter if we weren't on speaking terms; Tommy would always put my safety before his.

Tommy placed his lips to mine, his fingers running through my hair as he pulled me closer. His breath fanned across my face as he lifted his lips from mine. He moved away then, his thumb running across my bottom lip as he gave me a small smile.

"Go home, Elsie."

I stumbled away from him, my teeth gnawing on my bottom lip as I glanced at Graves as I rushed out of the pub and into the dark street.

Tommy wanted me to find someone to walk me home. How was I meant to do that when the road was empty?

Rushing towards the direction of Watery Lane, I spun around the corner colliding with a figure and landed on the floor.

"Sorry, Miss Elsie," a familiar voice said, pausing the panic that had set in. Percy, the young lad that had knocked me over, helped me up off the floor, giving me a small smile. "I didn't mean to knock ya down, Miss Elsie. I didn't see ya until I'd walked into ya. Oh, Gods. Tommy's gonna 'ave me." His eyes flashed around in panic as if expecting Tommy to jump out of the shadows.

"It's okay, Percy, Tommy won't hurt you," I assured the boy, resting my hand on his arm gently. "Why don't you walk me back to the house and we won't tell Tommy anything except that you walked me home in the dark," I suggested offering my arm to him, hoping he'd go along with it.

"Okay," he mumbled, taking my arm and looping it through his. I had hoped that I didn't bump into anyone, then I could have run back to the house, but I suppose if Tommy had wanted me to find someone, then he didn't want anyone but John and Arthur to know about Graves. How did Tommy expect me to act so calm when I knew he was in danger?

"I'm 'oping Tommy will let me join the Blinders soon," Percy said, no doubt uncomfortable with the silence between us. "Jimmy and Al told me I might be in with a chance if I play my cards right."

Jimmy and Al were Percy's older brothers and members of the Peaky Blinders. Jimmy, or more commonly named Jimbo, was John's age and good with numbers. He was also good and forging numbers and switching things in a blink of an eye.

John had mentioned how Jimmy did some undercover work during the war as no one excepted him to be dangerous. Of course, I didn't know what it involved as the men never spoke about the war.

It was also a known fact that Jimmy was good with cars. He often worked on the Shelby family car, working with Tommy when it needed fixing.

Al, or Albert, was Jimmy's younger twin by a couple of minutes and was closer to John out of the two.

John and Al could often be seen fooling around in the shop when Tommy wasn't in. I had no clue what Al did for the shop, but I knew he was good with his hands – if Tommy needed something pinching Al was the man to go to.

"I'll be sure to put in a word with Tommy, for you Percy," I promised the boy giving him a smile as I tugged my arm from his when I saw the door for number 10. "Thank you for walking me back. Tommy will appreciate it." With a quick wave to the boy, I rushed into the house, not caring that the door slammed behind me.

"What the hell—" Polly started, rushing out of the kitchen only stopping when she saw me.

"John! Arthur!" I called, pushing past Polly and looking for the two Shelby men. They were sat at the table with a few of the Blinders, chatting and smoking. "You need to get to The Garrison now. Tommy's alone with Graves and his men. He sent me back," I snapped out pulling on John's arm to get him up.

"Fookin' hell," John grumbled, grabbing his cap as he, Arthur and the lads rushed out of the house, exclaiming about a fight. I could already see Arthur and his grin at the thought of a fight.

Pol rested her hand on my shoulder as I sunk into John's chair. It was meant to be comforting but I was still unsettled. I would be unsettled until I knew Tommy was okay.

"It'll be alright, love."

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**Thank you for reading xx**


	11. Twisted, Tainted, Torn

**Sorry, it's been so long guys.**

**Hope you all enjoy this chapter.**

**Thank you for sticking with me.**

**I would like to say a massive thank you to 'mymymetrocard'. I wouldn't have been able to do half of this without your help. Thanks to everyone else for making me write because I know you all enjoy this story and I enjoy writing this.**

**Please enjoy xx**

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**I'm currently editing this piece of work - when I mean editing, I mean I'll be adapting the story and plot, and I will be checking for grammar and spelling mistakes, but I may miss some as my main focus is on shaping the story, so it flows well before I continue adding more chapters. I am sorry if it takes a while, but I do hope you'll all be patient with me.**

**I would recommend re-reading each new edited chapter as there may be changes that would fit in with future chapter and future edits.**

**Thank you for your time and I hope you enjoy.**

**If you do have any problems or any suggestions, please let me know** **.**

* * *

**Edited: 11/02/18**

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"What's wrong Aunt Ellie?" Jacob asked as he sat on my lap, his small fingers grabbing onto the long curls that tumbled out of the bun I had shoved it into earlier.

"Nothing, sweetheart," I mumbled to the boy as he rested his head against my shoulder, dropping back off to sleep.

Polly had sent the boys to bed after dinner, but Jacob had come down in tears thirty-minutes later. Tommy and the boys had been gone for three hours now.

Polly wouldn't let me go after them, saying that they could handle the business with Graves and that I should just wait for them to come home.

It was hard to just sit here without knowing if Tommy was alright.

"They'll be alright, El," Ada declared as she swapped between smoking to drinking every few minutes. "They're Shelby's."

"That's not comforting Ada," I mumbled, wrapping my arms around Jacob a little tighter. If anything, being a Shelby meant violence. It was their way.

The door slamming shut had all three of us looking towards the door, waiting for someone to enter. Arthur stumbled through the door, a black bruise covering his left eye, but a large drunken smile covering his lips.

"Mrs Shelby," he chuckled as he stumbled his way over to me, pressing a sloppy kiss on my cheek as John entered the kitchen in a similar drunken state.

"Sweet sister," John cried grabbing Ada by the shoulder as he pulled her from her seat and into a hug. What had these two been up to?

"What in the hell is wrong with you?" Ada spat, pushing John away from her as she stepped away from the table, her arms crossed.

"Married," Arthur giggled, and it was a giggle coming from him. "Our Tommy boy picked a right beauty, don't you say so Johnny Boy?" Arthur called to John, causing the other Shelby man to look at me. Arthur pulled me up from my seat then and I wrapped my arms around Jacob, hoping he wouldn't fall.

John looked over then, his smile widening on his face as he stepped over to me bring me into a hug like he had Ada. With his arms wrapped around me, John pulled back and looked down at the boy in my arms.

"Little Jake," John cooed scooping the boy from my arms and cradling him against his chest. Even with John being drunk, he treated his boy with care. Giving a small jerk of his head, John spun on his feet and left the room, his feet thumping up the stairs.

"Arthur," Polly called out, smacking the eldest Shelby on the shoulder as he stared at me, ignoring her. "Where's Tommy?" she asked the question that I had wanted to ask. Arthur didn't answer her, just muttered under his breath something about weddings and babies. "Arthur!"

"It's al'ight Aunt Pol," Tommy's voice came from the doorway, causing my heart to speed up as my eyes flashed to him. His face was bruised, his lip split and blood dried around his nose.

"Tommy," I sighed out, rushing to his side quickly, ignoring the look Polly gave me as I cradled his face in my hands gently. "What happened?" I asked assuming the worst. All three of them had returned looking like shit and I knew something had happened.

"Graves—"

"Graves insulted Tommy's wife and Tommy here started a fight," Arthur declared cutting Tommy off before he could answer me.

"Wife? What wife?" Ada asked sounding confused as she stepped back towards the table. I glanced at her over my shoulder before turning back to face Tommy as my face flushed with embarrassment. Locking my eyes with Tommy, I wished he'd just let me see what he was feeling for once. I hated how he always looked so calm and collected.

"Go to bed, Ada," Tommy said not taking his eyes off me.

"I'm not a child Tommy, you don't get to tell me—"

"Go to bed!" his voice was stern and if it was me he was talking to I wouldn't argue with him. Maybe it was the beaten-up face that went along with his stern look that had Ada shuffling up the stairs. "Arthur leave."

"Sure, Tommy Boy," Arthur chuckled leaving the kitchen with a spring in his step as he whistled a tune.

Tommy clenched his jaw, the action making my fingers slip down his cheeks. I ran my fingers over the bruise on his cheek, swiping along his split lip lightly. Tommy held my hands in his softly before lowering them and moving past me towards the table.

I followed him with my eyes as he took Ada's drink and down it quickly. His shoulders were hunched over as he rested his hands on the table. He was quiet, not making a sound, only letting out one deep sigh.

"I hope you're gonna explain what the fuck is going on, Thomas," Polly spat out as she stepped closer to him. Tommy glanced at her before refilling the empty glass.

"Graves thinks Elsie and I are married," he announced as if it was common knowledge that Tommy and I were married and not a lie.

"And you didn't think to correct him?" Pol questioned walking around the table until she was stood facing Tommy. "When people hear about this … do you know what this is gonna start? Her grandfather will be after your neck!" I closed my eyes at Polly's words. If she only knew that Papa was in on it.

"He already knows," Tommy told her, a cigarette hanging from his lips as he lit it. Polly opened her mouth but closed it just as quickly.  
Polly closed her eyes, one hand covering her face as she mumbled under her breath. She was no doubt cursing Tommy for getting us into this situation.

"What did Graves want?" I asked breaking the silence causing both Tommy and Polly to look at me. Tommy was quiet for a moment and I knew he was deciding whether to tell us.

"He wants to make a deal with your grandfather."

"Papa would never—"

"He would if your life was threatened." Tommy's words had me stepping back as if he'd just pulled his gun on me.

"He threatened me? That's why you got into the fight?" he didn't answer, just looked at the empty glass on the table as smoked his cigarette. "Tommy, what are you keeping from me? Don't pretend you're not, I can see there's something you're hiding," I added watching as his jaw tightened as I spoke. Tommy looked at me then, something unusual in his eyes.

"Don't stay up Pol, we won't be back until tomorrow," he told the elder woman, grabbing my arm as he pulled me out of the house.

"Where are we going?" I questioned as he took us to the garage that housed their car. It was around the corner from their house, opposite the factory.

"We're going to pay your grandfather a visit."

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When Tommy pulled up to the estate, it was past midnight. He hadn't spoken a word to me on the way here, ignoring my questions and the looks I gave him.

He kept his eyes on the road the whole time, his jaw clenching every now and then when I asked a question. I got that he didn't want to talk to me about what happened, but he could have at least said something to me.

So many things were going through my head. What had Graves wanted? Why were we going to see my Papa now? Why couldn't it have waited until the morning?

Tommy shut off the engine, keeping us sat in silence for a few seconds before he opened his door. I followed his actions, climbing out of the car and making my way up the steps of the estate.

I had never noticed how creepy looking the place was in the dead of night when all the lights were out.

Tommy shifted next to me, his hand settling on the ringer that alerted the staff there was someone at the door. I could guarantee that whoever opened the door was not going to be happy.

As we waited – in silence again – I looked over Tommy, taking in how the bruise on his cheek was turning darker. I wonder what Graves looks like if Tommy looks like this?

"Who in the hell—" the door swung open, the voice of one of our staff cutting off as I glanced at the door. "Lady Elsie," it was one of the valet's, Eddison Smith, a twenty-two-year-old intelligent and ambitious black man who Papa was mentoring.

Papa had found Eddison working at a small corner shop just outside of London. He'd seen straight away that Eddison was smarter than he let on and asked him what he planned to do in the future.

Eddison had told Papa that he was planning on working so he could support his mother and younger brothers. Papa had offered him a job then as his valet but told him he would mentor him in the art of business and had offered him a place as his apprentice. Eddison had accepted quickly and had been working for Papa for four years now.

"Hey, Eddison, sorry for waking you so late," I said slipping into the house as he opened the door wider. "Would you mind getting Papa for me. It's important."

"Sure thing, Lady Elsie," Eddison looked to Tommy, no doubt having heard about his last visit. "Why don't you take Mr. Shelby into the parlour while you wait? I'll send Miss May to you with tea."

Eddison rushed towards the stairs, leaving me with Tommy. Once again, we were in silence.

"You're starting to annoy me," I muttered to him as I lead him into the parlour. Papa loved this room, preferred it to his office, but it had nothing on the library.

The library was my place. Grandmother never went in there, she thought it was too constricting for her and didn't hold enough light. She preferred the sunroom and had claimed that as her own.

"What?" he grunted, dropping down onto one of the plush couches with a deep sigh. He must have been aching. I could only guess that his body had bruises from the fight.

"Could you at least talk to me, Tommy? You haven't said a word since we left. I know something's going on with Graves, yet you won't tell me anything." He didn't answer, just looked at me as he pulled out a cigarette, popping it in his mouth. Dropping down onto the couch next to him, I grabbed the cigarette from his mouth. "You said that Graves threatened me, yet you won't explain. Why are you doing this Tommy?"

"Elsie," his tone was gruff like he was scolding a child. His fingers gripped hold of my hand, tugging me closer to him. His face was inches from mine, his breath brushing my face like a gentle caress. "I'm trying to protect you,"

"I don't need your protection, Tommy," I hissed, trying and failing to pull my wrist from his grasp.

"You can't look after yourself. You've made that clear in the past."

"What that's supposed to mean?" I snapped, feeling the anger grow inside me. Why was it Tommy always made me angry?

"The first time I met you, you were covered in blood and fixing your cousin up from a stab wound. That proves to me that you can't protect yourself," he answered, shifting in his seat as his hand trailed up my arm, resting on my elbow.

"It wasn't my blood and I wasn't hurt."

I could tell that my cheeks were flushed with anger and by the way Tommy kept shifting, I could tell that he was angry as well. We weren't good for each other. Not that I thought we could be together anyway. Why would Tommy want to be with someone nine years younger than him? I didn't understand what Polly was talking about. Sure, I may have kissed him, but we wouldn't work out.

"You were hit, you had a bruise on your face. I would call that getting hurt," he spat, his fingers tightening on my elbow as his eyes burned with anger. It was the first emotion I had seen in his eyes.

"It was nothing compared to Donnie," I whispered, biting my lip as I remembered how Donnie was.

"I have to protect you," Tommy said softly, his fingers letting go of my elbow and pulling my bottom lip from my teeth.

"Why?"

"Because—"

"Sorry I took so long," Papa announced causing both, Tommy and I to move away from each other. I flushed in embarrassment as I looked over to Papa, biting my lip again.

"Miss May is bringing tea, Papa," I told him, fidgeting as I tried to ignore Tommy's presence next to me.

"Well, we'll wait for her before getting down to business," he looked to Tommy then, dropping into the armchair that sat opposite the couch. "I take it the plan went according to plan?"

"He went for it like I told you he would," Tommy replied, leaning back on the couch, his right arm resting on the arm of the chair.

"That's good," Papa had a smug smile on his face, one I was used to seeing when he wound Grandmother up. "We'll soon have Graves dealt with."

"Could someone please tell me what the hell is going on!" I demanded, not liking the looks Papa and Tommy were sharing.

"Your tea, My Lord," Miss May announced pulling in a cart which held a teapot, three cup and saucers and a plate of biscuits.

* * *

 

They paused until Miss May brought the tea in and waited until they were sure she had gone. While those three minutes weren't long, it felt like I was waiting for hours.

"Well," I started, looking at Tommy and Papa sipping my tea. I knew the best way for them to let everything out was to stay calm and at least try to be collected.

"Elsie, my dear girl, what happened with Graves and Tommy really isn't your concern," Papa stated as he held my gaze. At his words I slammed my cup down onto the side table, ignoring the tea that spilled over the sides.

"I find that it's every bit of my concern Papa, seeing as I was the one that was threatened tonight and not you or Thomas," I spat shifting in the seat so I moved away from Tommy. "If you don't tell me what happened tonight then I suppose I'll just have to go talk to someone else who knows what went down."

"John and Arthur won't tell you what 'appened," Tommy said, plying the cigarette from my fingers, placing it between his lips. I turned my glare onto him then. I hated how he managed to always look so in control.

I had a feeling I knew why he was like this. I know I don't know what it was like being out there, fighting for the country, but I understood a little about it. I understood that we had no control over what happened during the war.

I think that's why Tommy always wanted to be in control. He had no control over anything that happened when he was fighting in the trenches. He needed control over everything now.

"I wasn't talking about John and Arthur, Thomas," I snipped, glad to see some sort of emotion in his eyes at my words.

"You would go to Graves?" he asked, shifting forward so he was sat up straight as he looked at me.

"I would unless the pair of you could find it in your manipulative minds to tell me the truth," I replied resting my hands on my lap as I looked at them both. "It would make me happier if you didn't hide anything from me either."

* * *

**Thank you for reading xx**


	12. Bonds That Grow Strong

**Another chapter ready for you guys and it's a lot longer than normal.**

**I am sorry for any mistakes in this chapter and do apologise for them beforehand.**

**I would love it if you'd leave a review - I'd love to know what you think of the story so far. It'd be much appreciated.**

**Hope you all enjoy this chapter and thank you so much for reading and reviewing xx**

* * *

**I'm currently editing this piece of work - when I mean editing, I mean I'll be adapting the story and plot, and I will be checking for grammar and spelling mistakes, but I may miss some as my main focus is on shaping the story, so it flows well before I continue adding more chapters. I am sorry if it takes a while, but I do hope you'll all be patient with me.**

**I would recommend re-reading each new edited chapter as there may be changes that would fit in with future chapter and future edits.**

**Thank you for your time and I hope you enjoy.**

**If you do have any problems or any suggestions, please let me know.**

* * *

**Edited: 12/02/18**

* * *

"Lavender's blue, dilly, dilly,

Lavender's green,

When I am King, dilly, dilly,

You shall be queen." I sung, dancing with the younger children as the few older ones played their fiddles. While the fiddles may not have been perfect, the fun we were having meant the most to us.

"Who told you so, dilly, dilly,

Who told you so?

'Twas my heart, dilly, dilly,

That told me so." Finn was watching in fascination. It was the first time he'd been to the farm since the fair for our birthday. I thought it would be good for him to play with kids his own age, and Polly said he could come if he behaved. He seemed to be enjoying himself, though he wasn't joining me and the younger cousins dancing.

"Call up your men, dilly, dilly,

Set them to work.

Some to the plough, dilly, dilly,

Some to the fork." Lila-Grace, Bobbi, and Drake giggled as we spun in circles, their faces red as they let go of each other's hands and did a twirl before grabbing hold of their hands again, spinning around. I gave Finn a smile as one of the older girls Cleo asked him to dance with her. He got all flustered and shook his head no. She gave him a bright smile and sat down next to him.

"Some to make hay, dilly, dilly,

Some to cut corn,

While you and I, dilly, dilly,

Keep ourselves warm." Mah-mee and a few of the mothers had joined us, singing along as they took some of the children's hands and danced. Finn had a look on his face, one I couldn't understand. I spun Lila-Grace in the air as we sung together.

"Lavender's green, dilly, dilly,

Lavender's blue,

If you love me, dilly, dilly,

I will love you." My eyes locked with Tommy's as I sung. When had he arrived? Where was Finn? I could see John and Arthur by the paddocks talking to Maddox and Donnie. I bit my lip as Tommy kept his eyes locked on mine and I stumbled over the next words of the song.

"Let the birds sing, dilly, dilly,

Let the lambs play,

We shall be safe, dilly, dilly,

Out of harm's way." I couldn't keep my eyes off him. I felt that if I looked away something bad would happen. What was he doing here? Why were John and Arthur talking to Maddox and Donnie? Was this about Graves? I looked away when Mah-mee pulled me into her arms.

"I love to dance, dilly, dilly,

I love to sing,

When I am queen, dilly, dilly,

You'll be my king." Mah-mee spun me around and my eyes locked with Tommy's again. I could see the smirk on his lips, but I had no idea why it was there. Did he find me amusing? Was he making fun of me? He hadn't spoken to me since he dropped me off here last night. I was expecting to stay longer but as soon as Papa and Tommy told me about the plan with Graves I wanted to go home. Not one word was spoken on the way home. Did he have something to say now?

"Who told me so, dilly, dilly,

Who told me so?

I told myself, dilly, dilly,

I told me so." As we sung the last verse, the girls playing the fiddles gave the last few notes before resting them on the haystacks next to them and rushing to dance among their younger siblings and cousins. While we didn't have the music anymore, we still had fun dancing.

"Your man's not taken 'is eyes of ya since he arrived," Mah-mee told me as she spun me around, so I could see Tommy again. She was right. He was still watching me. I twisted back round to look at her.

"Tommy's not my man, Mah-mee, you know that," I whispered, feeling the eyes of a few of the mothers on me. This lot can be nosy at times.

"It'll 'appen soon, just you see Elsie-girl," she muttered, pressing a kiss to my head as she sighed deeply. It sounded like she was finding something hard. "Why don't you go see what Tommy wants." I gave her a small nod before turning away from her. Dancing with my little cousins, I finally came to a stop in front of Tommy.

He wasn't looking at me. His eyes were watching my cousins dance. Boys and girls, dancing to no music, just their voices as they repeated the song.

"Is there something you need?" I asked, wanting to get to the point instead of chasing after him like a cat would a mouse.

"Just wanted to see you," he grunted, looking away from the dancing as he pulled a cigarette from his breast pocket.

"You saw me last night, Tommy," I reminded him, knowing there was something else he wanted to talk about.

"Right," his eyes went over to John and Arthur who were now talking to Finn. "I've bought a horse, John and Arthur put him in a pen. I need you to look at him."

"Another horse? Does it not matter that I've already got three of your horses here?" I asked as I made my way over to this new horse.

"One horse belongs to me," he said as he followed two steps behind me.

"I've got Aden, Wen, and Storm. That's three Tommy, I'm sure you're capable of counting," I told him, spinning to look at him, walking backward.

"Storm is Finn's, he's not my horse," Tommy pointed out, reminding me that Storm belongs to Finn.

"That still leaves Aden and Wen," I muttered, looking at the new horse Tommy brought as we drew closer. Finn was sat on the fence with John as the two of them watched as Maddox tried to join up with the grey steed.

"I bought Wen for you, she belongs to you." His tone left no room for arguing. I tilted my head to the side as I looked up at him. It was another thing I didn't understand about Tommy. He came across as this dangerous man, but he did these sweet things. Why had he bought me a horse?

"That was very generous of you Tommy," I sighed, not knowing how I'm meant to be dealing with him.

"Hmm," he replied, leaning against the fence next to Arthur as we looked in on Maddox as he fell over. Finn and John burst into laughter as Arthur slapped Donnie on the back as he called out advice to Maddox.

"What's there to know about this boy then?" I questioned climbing up onto the fence, not bothering to change out of my skirt.

"Bought 'im off an Irish fella we met at the pub," Arthur announced, causing me to give Tommy a sharp look. Did he know anything about this horse? Did he have papers? Did he know the horse's medical history?

"That's fantastic," I spat sarcastically as I rested on the fence looking down at Tommy. "What can you tell me about him then?"

"He's been neglected. The man we bought 'im from said he got 'im a few months back when the war ended. He was starving then, put on a bit now, but he could be doing better," Tommy told me as he smoked his cigarette, looking to Maddox as he came over to us, shaking his head.

"He doesn't want to join up, Ellie," Maddox said as he pulled himself up onto the fence.

"He doesn't trust people," I told them as I watched the horse kick at the fence furthest away from us. "What's his name?"

"Leaving Behind Dust," John said, smirking as he glanced at me. Finn started giggling at his side but stopped when Arthur hit him on the head.

"We call him Dusty," Tommy sighed, looking over at Dusty. It suited him, the name. His coat was grey with specks of black and white. Dusty was the perfect name for him. "Can you sort 'im out? I want to get him racing soon."

"I'll see what I can do," I grumbled dropping down on the other side of the fence, making my way to Dusty.

"Hey boy," I whispered, making my way over to Dusty as he kicked at the ground, trying to find a way out of the pen. Even if I hadn't been told that Dusty had been through the war, I would have known. There were signs. Just like I had known with Aden.

The tension in both of their bodies was a clue. The mistrust in their eyes, another. It made me wonder how Tommy, John, and Arthur had managed to get Dusty here. He was so worked up, I couldn't see them bringing him here without a challenge.

Clicking my tongue as I drew closer to Dusty, hoping he'd be able to sense that I meant him no harm. The clicking was meant to gain his attention but I could see that Dusty was focused on Aden and Wen, watching them as they ate in their pen.

Did he want company?

Was he lonely after everything he went through?

Did he need a friend to soothe him from his troubles?

He reminded me of Tommy. Why was it that Tommy had been interested in two horses that had seen war? Was he trying to save them?

"He couldn't save himself," I muttered, turning to glance at him, finding him already looking at me. Biting my lip, I turned back to Dusty, knowing now what he wanted. He wanted the same thing Tommy wanted. "You want to be free, Dusty? I can see it in your eyes, boy. You want to be able to run, don't you? I promise you, Dusty, that if you work with me, you'll be able to run so fast…," I cooed to him, stepping closer slowly. I was aware that this could be dangerous. Sometimes the horses made a move that was too fast for me to see. Those were the times I'd end up in the dirt with a few bruises.

"Dusty, can you trust that I'm just trying to help you?" I asked, looking him in the eyes, hoping he wouldn't fight me. When he didn't show any sign of fighting, I solely picked up the rope Maddox had dropped earlier. "I'm not going to hurt you, I just need you to follow my lead, okay boy?" without hesitation I swung the rope out towards Dusty's front, smiling when he pushed away from the rope. I swung the rope in the opposite direction, cutting him off before he could get away, glad that Dusty seemed to be working with me when he dashed away from the tip of the rope.

After ten minutes of this, I was sure that Dusty would join up. I trusted that he would. Turning my back to Dusty, I looked over at the four Shelby men. Finn and John were still sat on the fence, Maddox sat up there next to them, while John and Maddox smoked.

Arthur was talking to Donnie, the two of them laughing about something, that seemed rather amusing to the pair. Tommy caught my attention though, he was talking to Lila-Grace and from what I could see, they both had smiles on their faces. Tommy's may have been small, yet it was still there.

He said something to Lila-Grace and she skipped off, leaving him alone. He looked up then, his sharp blue eyes startling me. There was something intense about his eyes. I always found them hard to read.

I jumped when Dusty's nose pushed against my cheek. I couldn't help the smile that crossed my lips when I realized that he was ready to join up. He trusted me, and I wouldn't forget that.

"I promise not to hurt you boy," I whispered, my eyes staying on Tommy, promising him the same thing.

* * *

The morning was cold. I had forgotten that Christmas was upon us until the cold reached me this morning. A small cry from Paddy had me climbing out of bed, my feet slipping into soft slippers as I rushed over to the crib. Paddy was red-faced, tears rolling down his chubby cheeks. He had kicked off his blankets and I could only assume that he was cold.

"You're a silly little boy," I cooed, tucking him tightly in the blankets, leaning down to press a kiss on his head. "You let me get dressed and I'll take you to get your bottle." I pulled on one of my woollen dresses and a thick overcoat.

We had a busy day today. The horses needed to be moved to the stables ready for Christmas. The fields would be used for a festival the day after Christmas that would go through to the New Year. More family would be joining us for the week after Christmas Day and we had only a couple of days to prepare. The farmhouse was already littered with caravans, but Mah-mee had declared that the place is tidied up, not that the family would mind, it didn't look a mess anyway. It was just Mah-mee fretting over nothing.

"You're up late," Mah-mee stated as I came down the stairs, Paddy snuggled in his blankets against my chest.

"Paddy just woke up," I told her, both of us knowing that I would have woken earlier if Paddy had. He hardly ever slept late.

"Aye, the boy was probably having nice dreams," Mah-mee said, taking Paddy from me, a bottle ready for him. "I left you some toast. They've already started on the farm work, you've got Dusty and Aden to stable and Hellfire will probably be around, he likes the warmth this time of year." I nodded, knowing that Hellfire would most likely be coming around sometime today. He'd been around the farm, he never ventured off the lands we own. "Finn's wanting to help. He was 'ere before the sun was up. He's been helping Maddie with the hay."

"I'll go out now," I muttered, staring at Paddy in her arms as he sucked on his bottle. "Are you watching Paddy today?"

"Donnie's gonna spend time with him while I do the house chores." I didn't think that was a clever idea. Donnie was still hurt, he wouldn't be able to push himself too much with Paddy, but I wouldn't argue with Mah-mee.

"I'm gonna make sure Finn isn't annoying Maddox," I said, kissing Paddy on the head before leaving the house.

The family was doing all sorts as I walked passed the caravans to the stables. There was a small group of them filing the dry stock with vegetables and seeds. Wheat and flour were being added to the dry shed as well. I knew another dry shed was stocked with butter and cheese. Half the time Milla and Poppy would take half a dozen blocks of butter and cheese to the farmers market just outside of Small Heath.

"Elsie!" Finn shouted as he saw me making my way to the pens. I glanced at him, seeing that he was walking away from Storm who had been moved into one of the stalls in the barn. "Storm almost knocked Maddox down, I had to calm him down like you taught me." He sounded happy and I couldn't have wanted anything else for him.

While I knew that he was looked I couldn't help but feel that Polly and the others just pushed him with John's boys. Finn was their uncle, not their brother and he should be treated as such. He was so young compared to his brothers and Ada, I think they sometimes forgot that he still wanted to be treated the same as them.

"That's excellent, Finn, why don't you help me with Wen? I'll even try and get Aden to come to you," I called back, knowing that Finn would agree. He loved horses just as much as I did. Just as much as Tommy did. If I could just get Tommy to see that then their bond would be stronger.

"Really?" Finn asked, rushing to a stop in front of me, his cheeks flushed from the cold.

"Of course, Finn, I promised you I'd teach you everything I knew about horses." I gave him a soft smile, ruffling his hair. "Come on, we've got a lot to do and it's going to take a while," I told him, leading him towards Wen and Aden.

"I can't wait to tell Tommy about this," Finn gushed, and I loved that he was thinking about Tommy when he was doing something he enjoyed.

"Aye, I think Tommy will like hearing it." If this was what helped Tommy deal with his issues, then I hope it's Finn that can get through to Tommy. I knew it would be hard. Simply forgetting what he'd gone through over the last four years was a stupid thing to ask, but I could only hope it'll start helping him heal, even if it was a little bit. "Help me get Wen's attention, Finn."

You'll have to let her come to you. Just lift your arm out and let her smell you, Finn," I told him, brushing my fingers over Aden's neck as we stood watching Finn try and connect with Wen. He seemed a bit skittish at first, but I could see his confidence building. "Let her see that you mean no harm. Trust her to lead you —"

"Fuck," Maddox's voice brought my attention away from Finn as he stepped away from Wen startled. "Ellie, we have visitors," Maddox announced, pointing out the two coppers as they walked up to the farmhouse. I didn't know why they were here, but I had a bad feeling about them.

"Finn if this gets bad I needed you to run home as fast as you can, alright? Don't try and help, just get home to Polly. Do you understand me?" I rushed out, grabbing him by the shoulder, stopping him from following Maddox.

"I understand," he answered, following me as I led him towards the house.

The two coppers had the attention of most of the family members and as we drew closer I could make out what they were saying.

"—leave. The owner of this land has ordered you to leave. You've got two days to pack up and leave or you'll be arrested. Is that understood?" the taller of the two shouted, his eyes roaming around.

The owner wanted us to leave? Why would Papa want us to leave?

"Excuse me," I called, gaining the attention of the two coppers. "I know the owner, he wouldn't send us away. If you wait, I can have him called up and have this sorted out." I was being a lot politer than I wanted to be, but I knew it wouldn't do to cause trouble.

"You looking for a smack, girl?" the taller of the two asked, taking a step towards me. I felt Finn shift behind me, no doubt worried I'd be hit.

The second copper, the blond one, looked at me, his eyes taking in my appearance before shooting to Finn as he stepped by my side, taking my hand. His eyes widened as a nervous look took over his face.

"Phil, you might want to back off, the boy's a Shelby," he stuttered, grabbing hold of Phil's arm.

"Graves wants you off his land, you Gypsy whore!" Phil spat, his glare meant to intimidate me, but I had seen Tommy's glare, and this was nothing in comparison. Maddox made a noise of protest, one that would end up with him being arrested for assaulting an officer, so I lifted my hand to stop him from doing anything reckless.

"Graves doesn't own this farm. It belongs to Lord Alfred Cromwell, I'm sure you've heard of him. He's also my grandfather, I can get a message sent to him and we can get this all cleared up. In the meantime, I'd appreciate it if you would leave the farm. I'll even send word to your boss and inform him that his officers have been wasting time that could be used in more engaging cases where their investigator skills would be put to proper use."

The smack came as a shock, but the stinging on my cheek didn't stop me from pulling Finn back as he went for Phil. With a stern look, Finn shrugged out of my hold and rushed away from us and towards Small Heath. At least he listened to me and went home if things went bad.

"Don't," I warned the men of the family as they went towards the copper. It wouldn't do if they all started a fight with two coppers. It's obvious who would win, and it wouldn't be fair. "I think it would be best if you left right now," I spoke to the coppers, ignoring Phil, but keeping my eyes on the blond one. He looked so worried.

"You just touched Tommy Shelby's girl," the blond hissed, grabbing Phil by his arm as he pulled him to the car parked on the road leading to Small Heath. I watched them walk away while biting my lip. This was going to cause trouble.

"Ellie, we should get that looked at," Maddox sighed, nodding at the mark on my face.

I couldn't even feel it anymore, but I knew that there was more pain to be felt. My marked face wasn't important, but it would lead to someone being in insufferable pain, just to who?

* * *

Tickling on my cheek woke me in a haze of irritation. I pushed my fingers over my cheek, wiping at the bruise that marked my skin. My fingers collided with another set of fingers.

Why was someone in my room?

I shot up, grabbing the knife under my pillow and held it against my intruder's throat. I couldn't see who it was due to the sleep clouding my vision but as their fingers wrapped around my wrist I felt calm.

"You going to cut me with that?" Tommy asked, his voice relaxing me even more as he lowered my hand, taking the knife from my grasp.

"What are you doing here?" I mumbled rubbing my eyes. The reason I couldn't see him very well wasn't that I had just woken up, it was because it was dark in my room. "What time is it?"

"Late," Tommy announced, leaning over and turning the lamp on I had by my bed. I blinked harshly as the light invaded my eyes, blinding me.

I could see him clearly now. He was dressed as he always was; in a three-piece suit with a white shirt and dark blue tie. I could see his cap tucked into his pocket.

His eyes seemed brighter in the light as they gazed at my face. His fingers brushed over my bruised cheek, his face turning into a frown.

"Why are you here?" I asked again, feeling a bit out of sorts with Tommy being at my house, in my room in the middle of the night.

"Finn told me what happened," he replied, his thumb brushing over my bottom lip as he trailed his fingers down my chin, lifting my head. His eyes locked on mine and he took my breath away. "I came to see you."

While it was sweet of him, it also pissed me off. The coppers had been here in the early afternoon, Finn had gone home before lunch. Tommy had all afternoon and evening to come and see me, yet he waited until everyone was asleep. He'd waited until the dead of night. Had he just walked into my house without knocking?

I huffed out, pushing his hand from my face as I climbed out of bed. I went to the window, my back to him as I crossed my arms over my chest. I could see his car parked by the road. Had he not wanted to wake anyone?

"You've had all day to see me, Tommy. Why come now?" I wondered, wanting to know if this was because he didn't want people to see us together. If that was his plan, then he could find someone else to care for his horses.

"I was busy," he stated, getting up from the bed, making his way to me. I could hear him getting closer. I could feel him getting closer. I turned to look at him, hoping he'd take the hint that I was angry at him.

"Too busy for me? What's going on with us, Tommy? You act all—" I stopped when I got a good look at him. His white shirt was splattered with blood. It was even on his collar and on the cuffs of his sleeves. I knew why he was busy now. "That cooper, Tommy?" I asked, knowing I didn't need him to answer me to know. "Was it worth it? I'm sure you'll be getting jail time for this. What about Finn? He needs you even if you don't know it. And John, do you think he'll be able to handle Arthur without you? He can barely look after his boys and work at the same time."

"John will be fine," Tommy cut me off, grabbing hold of my hand when I went to shove him.

"But Arthur won't. We both know that. Polly said you all came back different—"

"Don't talk about—"

"Arthur isn't the same, Tommy! Polly said he's dangerous now. He's got a short fuse. You saw him the other day. He can't keep hold of his anger. Do you really think he'd be able to do that with you locked up? And what about Ada? She might not admit it, but she missed you. Do you really think she'll be able to deal with you not being around? And Polly? She sure as hell needs you. She can't deal with the business without you, no matter how helpful John and Arthur are." I took in a deep breath as I look at him. Did he not really think about his family when he went after Phil? "You're so stupid, Thomas! Do you have any idea what you've done? I won't be able to—" I cut myself off when I realized what I was about to say.

"You won't be able to what?" Tommy questioned, taking a step closer.

"I won't … I won't be able to help them," I whispered, lying to him. Tommy tilted his head at my words and I knew he could tell I was lying. "I'm going to be busy in the New Year. I've got Paddy to care for and I start teaching at the school. I've got the horse, and Papa has a few events scheduled, plus the races will be picking up and I'm just … I'm just going to be busy, Tommy." I sighed, shaking my head as I felt him move closer. "There's still the thing with Graves. If you're locked up how are we meant to bring him to an end? Papa can't deal with all this by himself and I can't help him, I'm—" Tommy's lips engulfed my words as they captured mine.

"You're busy, I know," he mumbled, his lips pressing harder to mine. I sighed into the kiss, wrapping my arms around his neck as he tugged me closer to him.

My back hit the wall as Tommy pushed me back, one hand resting on my hip and the other tangled in my hair. His tongue swiped at my bottom lip before slipping into my mouth, stroking my tongue. I could taste whiskey and his cigarettes. I mumbled nonsense into his mouth as I pulled away from him with wide eyes.

We were both breathing heavily, our chests pressed together so tightly it was starting to hurt my breasts. What were we doing?

"Come to bed," Tommy whispered, pulling my hand as he led me to the bed. My heart thumped heavily in my chest as I kept my eyes on his. He was telling me something with his eyes. I could see that a small part of himself was left vulnerable.

He pushed me down gently and I watched as he kicked off his shoes. I bit my lip as he nudged his socks off, shredding his jacket and vest. He held my gaze as he pushed his trousers down, leaving him in his boxer shorts and shirt. His fingers unbuttoned his shirt before fiddled with the buttons on his cuffs.

He leaned down as he pulled his shirt off, pressing his lips to mine, pushing me down onto the mattress. He pulled the covers over me before slipping under them as well, pulling me into his arms, his lips finding mine again. He lifted me by the hips until I was rested on him, his hands running down my back.

The room went dark as he switched off the lamp. I was left in the darkness for a few seconds wondering what was going to happen but closed my eyes when his lips trailed down my neck.

* * *

**Thank you for reading xx**


	13. Violence, Blood and Tears

**Hey guys. Here's another chapter for you all.**

**I personally feel like this chapter has a lot of fillers in it, but I needed it so that future chapters make sense.**

**I do hope you all enjoy it though.**

**Thanks for all the reviews and please enjoy.**

* * *

**I'm currently editing this piece of work - when I mean editing, I mean I'll be adapting the story and plot, and I will be checking for grammar and spelling mistakes, but I may miss some as my main focus is on shaping the story, so it flows well before I continue adding more chapters. I am sorry if it takes a while, but I do hope you'll all be patient with me.**

**I would recommend re-reading each new edited chapter as there may be changes that would fit in with future chapter and future edits.**

**Thank you for your time and I hope you enjoy.**

**If you do have any problems or any suggestions, please let me know.**

* * *

**Edited: 12/02/18**

* * *

Tommy's fist colliding with my side woke me. I jolted with a gasp, my hands rubbing the pain in my side. Tommy's moans of discomfort and pain had me forgetting mine as I scrambled to him, my knees sinking into the mattress beside him.

"Tommy," I called softly, stroking his face gently. I would shake him awake but I knew the danger of that. I forgot about it when Tommy made a heart-wrenching noise that had me grabbing his hand.

I knew he was having a nightmare, I'd experienced many nightmares myself after my parents died. I wasn't a newcomer to the sight of them but seeing Tommy in distress over a nightmare had my stomach turning.

His fingers gripped mine tightly, but I held my tongue. This was about him, not me.

"Ellie," he cried, pulling me into his chest as he struggled for breath. His voice was rough, but it was clear enough that he was crying. I wanted to cry alongside him, but I couldn't. this was his pain and no matter how much I wanted to cry with him, I knew he wouldn't want it.

"It's okay, Tommy," I whispered, resting my head on his chest as he wrapped me in his arms. It made me feel safe and I could only hope that he felt the same way.

* * *

Tommy brushed his fingers through my hair, waking me. I looked at him with blurry eyes.

"Morning," he said, his voice fogged with sleep. He made no indication that he woke in the night, so I pretended it didn't happen. I gave him a tired smile and climbed out of bed.

It was then that I realized I was in my nightdress in front of him. It wasn't proper. I bit my lip, a furious blush coming to my cheeks as he sent me a smirk.

Stumbling to my dresser, I pulled out a woollen blue dress, some thick tights, and clean undergarments. I glanced at Tommy over my shoulder before darting behind my changing screen.

"You stayed the night," I pointed out, reminding him that it was a bad idea. How were we supposed to explain this to Mah-mee without her thinking I had given myself to him?

"I did," Tommy muttered. I could hear him striking a match and it wasn't long after that I smelt the smoke.

"Do you think that's wise?" I asked, throwing my nightdress over the screen as I slipped out of my undergarments. I barely gave myself a second before I had my clean ones on and was slipping into my tights

"I don't care," Tommy stated, causing me to stumble as I rolled my tights up.

"What?"

"I don't care," he repeated. I think he misunderstood.

"That's not what I meant." Once I had my dress on, I came out from behind the screen. "Does it not bother you? What people will say about your reputation? About my reputation? We're not married, Tommy, we shouldn't be sharing a bed. We're not even engaged." I bit my lip as he stared at me with those eyes of his. "Mah-mee is more than likely going to force you into marrying me," I said, knowing it was something she would do. She seemed adamant about me being with him.

"I'll sort her out," he replied calmly, getting out of bed.

I felt like I was biting a hole in my lip with how hard I was biting it. How could I have forgotten that Tommy went to bed without anything covering his chest? I spent most of the night cuddling with him.

He was lean, the muscles evident on his body, but not remarkable. He was remarkable, to me anyway. He wasn't as muscular as some men, but he was soft. He was so soft. His soft skin was marked by scars, but the scar caused by a bullet on his side had my heart skipping a beat. Was it normal to find that attractive? The red scar stood out against his pale skin and I couldn't take my eyes off it.

Tommy covered it with his shirt and I looked up at him, seeing a smug look on his face. He was already dressed, just had his shoes left to put on. Had I been staring that long?

"Enjoying yourself?" he questioned, sitting on the edge of the bed, pulling his shoes on.

"Shut up." I flushed grabbing a long cardigan from my chair, slipping my arms into it before dropping down next to Tommy on the bed, pulling on my boots.

"It's Christmas Eve tomorrow," Tommy said, resting his elbows on his knees as he looked at me.

"I know."

"Your grandfather invited us around for Christmas dinner."

"I know."

"Finn and the boys are looking forward to it. Ada can't wait and Pol's happy that she doesn't have to cook," Tommy went on, which was unusual. He seemed to be avoiding something.

"What's going on with us, Tommy? I mean, where do you see this going? If you think for one minute that you can keep using me and treat me like a whore, then you'll be mistaken. I won't stand for it—"

"I want to try," he cut me off, sitting straight and resting his hand on my knee.

"Want to try what?" I asked, wanting to hear him say it.

"Us, I want to give it a go." He was earnest, nothing but the truth coming from his lips.

"Okay," I mumbled, feeling something heavy being lifted from my chest.

"I ain't gonna buy you flowers if that's what you're expecting. I'll treat you well and I'll protect you, but you need to know that I live dangerously. There's going to be violence, there's gonna be blood and there will be tears. You want that?" he asked, his fingers slipping up my leg until they rested on my hip.

"I want you the way you are, Tommy. You don't need to buy me flowers to make me happy. You make me happy already. I just want you," I whispered, biting my bottom lip, looking at him through my eyelashes. His eyes flashed something fierce, lifting his hand and pulling my lip from my teeth.

"That drives me mad," he grunted, placing a small kiss on my lips. he pulled away, taking my hand in his. "Come on, I promised the boys Auntie Ellie would see them today."

I laughed, feeling the smile grow large on my lips as he pulled me out of the room.

* * *

"Auntie Ellie!" Jacob shouted, running into me as I followed Tommy into the kitchen.

"Hello Jake," I greeted the five-year-old, picking him up and bringing him into a hug. "I hope you've been good."

"Of course," he said, grinning at me, a few of his teeth missing. "Polly said we're gonna go to your Papa's house for Chris'mas." The boy sounded excited for the coming next few days. I could only guess what Finn had been telling him about Cromwell Estate.

"That's right. The Shelby's are joining my Papa and me for Christmas day." Polly caught my attention from across the room. She was looking between Tommy and I, her eyebrows rising as she made her assumptions about last night.

"Will there be a fair?" Jake asked, wrapping my curls around his fingers.

"It's a different family, Jacob," Tommy told him, looking at the boy on my arms. "Why don't you leave Auntie Ellie alone and go wake up Auntie Ada."

Jake struggled out of my arms and rushed out of the kitchen, giggling to himself as he went. He was no doubt excited about waking Ada.

"You didn't come home last night," Polly pointed out, tapping her cigarette against the ashtray on the table.

"I was busy," Tommy replied, dropping into the chair at the head of the table. I glanced between them before rushing around the kitchen, putting the kettle on and starting some toast for Tommy.

The looks Tommy and Polly were sharing were intense and I didn't want to interrupt it by saying anything. How could two people stare at each other for that long?

The kettle whistling broke my attention for them and I hurried to make three cups of tea.

"At least tell me the pair of you didn't do anything stupid," she muttered, finally breaking the silence.

I ignored the look she gave me as I placed the toast in front of Tommy. I took my seat to his left, placing three cups of tea onto the table. I looked at Tommy then, warming my hands on my cup. What was he going to say?

"What happens between Elsie and myself is our business, Polly," he stated, keeping his eyes firmly on her as he stubbed his cigarette in the ashtray.

"If she ends up in the family way—"

"She won't."

"Like I'm gonna believe that!" she snapped, her hand smacking the table.

"It's what I'm telling you," Tommy said, biting into his toast as if the conversation had never happened.

"If you saw the way you looked at each other, you'd know there's no way anyone would believe she ain't gonna be in the family way within the month," Polly grumbled, sipping at her tea as she glanced at him.

"Enjoy your tea, Pol," Tommy muttered, no hint of emotion showing in his voice. "We've got a busy week ahead of us."

* * *

"You shouldn't have wound her up like that, Tommy," I said as I followed him down the street to the Garrison. "It's not fair. You know how she acted when she found us in your office." My cheeks heated at the memory of Tommy standing between my legs.

"I remember," he muttered, glaring at young Percy as he waved at me from across the street. "Who's that?" I was certain I could hear a hint of jealousy but didn't say anything. Tommy was too good at hiding his feelings.

"That's Percy, his brothers are Blinders. He walked me home the other night when Graves turned up at the pub," I told him, waving back to Percy who seemed delighted that I paid him attention.

"He likes you," Tommy grumbled, a frown tugging at his lips.

"Oh, don't be stupid, Tommy," I muttered, not believing that he would really get upset over this. "Percy is just a boy. I thought I made it clear who it was I was interested in." I gave him a pointed look before going to the pub, leaving him to follow me.

"Alrigh' Elsie?" Harry asked, a smile on his face as he saw me. The smile dropped from his face as Tommy appeared behind me, his hand resting on my lower back. What a way to tell everyone that I belonged to him. "Mr Shelby."

"Two whiskeys', Harry," Tommy ordered, walking me up to the bar, his hand gliding lower on my back. I looked at him, noting the small smile on his face. "Are John and Arthur here?"

"Not yet, Mr Shelby," Harry replied, pouring the two whiskeys' Tommy had asked for. Tommy nodded his head, picking both up and walking to their private room. I gave Harry a small smile before following him.

"Do you like making people fear you?" I asked him, not understand what it was that had everyone afraid of Tommy.

"They don't fear me," he muttered placing the glasses on the table and turning to look at me. "They know who has more power."

"Is it just a power play for you then? Am I a power play?" I wondered. Was that why he suddenly wanted to be with me?

"You're not a power play," he muttered, leaning in and pressing a kiss to my cheek. "You're a weakness, one I have allowed myself to have." I bit my lip to hide the smile, but it was hard to do.

I ran my fingers over his cheek before pressing my lips to his. He could be sweet. If he wanted to be. Not many people would see him as being sweet, but I always would.

Tommy pulled away, tucking my curls behind my ear as he pressed a kiss to my forehead. He walked over to the table, dropping down into the booth. The room had a few memories, one being when I slapped him.

"What are you laughing at?" he asked, lighting a cigarette as he peered up at me.

"That time I slapped you," I said, smiling wider as he rolled his eyes. Had I been mistaken? "Tommy Shelby!" I exclaimed pitting on a fake shocked look. "Did you just roll your eyes? Do I have to call a doctor?"

"Come here," he replied, smirking at my behaviour. I gave into him, taking the few steps so I was standing in front of him.

He pulled me into his lap. One hand resting on my hip while the other dumped his cigarette into the ashtray. His fingers pressed into my lower back as his other hand pulled my lips from my teeth.

"You're a little minx," he grumbled crushing his lips to mine. I sucked in a breath as he pushed his tongue into my mouth. It caressed the roof of my mouth before tangling with mine. I could taste the smoke on him and couldn't help but want more. It was pure Tommy.

"You're not the first person to say that to me," I whispered, pulling out of his kiss and resting my head against his neck. "How long do you think we can keep this from Papa? I'm certain he'll know as soon as he sees us together, and then we'd have to worry about my grandmother."

"Stop worrying about it, everything will be fine," Tommy said, he hands running down my back in a comforting gesture.

"Would you be fine if someone staring courting Ada? Would you be relaxed then?" I asked, knowing he'd be pissed and he'd probably hunt the guy down. I wasn't sure how Ada planned on sneaking around with Freddie. She had been hinting at having a romance with Freddie, but I wasn't sure if she was being truthful. Perhaps I'd have to talk to him to find out if Ada had made her move.

"Has she been seeing someone?" Tommy questioned, the steely tone of his voice telling me what I expected. He was not happy about the idea of Ada being with someone.

I pulled back, giving him a small smirk as I tried not to giggle.

"I was joking, Tommy. Ada is not seeing anyone to my knowledge," I teased, biting my bottom lip as he frowned at me.

"You know, you really are a minx," he said, pulling me into him, his lips brushing mine as I shifted on his lap. His arms were wrapped tightly around me as I snuggled closer to him.

"Oi, John, we're gonna 'ave to leave," Arthur said, causing Tommy and me to separate as he made his presence known. "Looks like Tommy-boy's busy with his girl."

"Arthur," Tommy warned, giving his older brother a look as I shifted in his lap. Tommy tightened his hands, not letting me move.

"You alright, Ellie?" John asked, smirking at me. He set the bucket of beer on the table as Arthur settled into the booth next to Tommy, placing the glasses next to the bucket. "You're a bit red there. Are ya hot?"

"Stop it," I groaned. Rubbing my flushed cheeks. Tommy chuckled lightly, pressing a kiss to my cheek. Arthur raised his eyebrows, exchanging a look with John.

I stood up then, giving Tommy's hand a squeeze as he tried to stop me. Picking up one of the whiskey's I quickly downed it, grimacing at the burn. I glanced at John as he watched me, a frown on his face.

"What are you—"

"I've got to go." I cut John off, keeping my eyes on Tommy. "Papa has sent a car, so I'll be seeing you on Christmas Day. Papa has already told Polly that there's room to stay, I do hope you accept the invitation as well." I looked to Arthur and John hoping they understood that I meant them too. "I'll see you later," I said, giving Tommy a kiss.

"Stay safe," he remarked, shifting in his seat as his brothers looked at him.

"I will," I promised, giving him one last smile as I left.

* * *

I ran my fingers over my dress trying to find something to occupy my thoughts. The last two days had been busy, but I hadn't stopped thinking about Tommy.

I flushed as I remembered the heated dream I woke from this morning. Glancing at Papa in his armchair, I was happy to see he was focused on this book. Grandmother was sat on the sofa opposite him, reading over the pile of letters we had received.

"What has you so flushed, dear?" she asked, frowning as she peered at me over her letter.

"I'm just hot," I said, not wanting to tell her I had been thinking very un-ladylike things.

"If you stop pacing you wouldn't be making yourself so hot," Papa stated, smiling at me as he settled his book on his lap. "Why don't you go check on Chasing Dreams? He's been unsettled since you had him moved here, I think seeing your face might help him."

"Not in that dress, Alfred," Grandmother scolded, giving me a look I think she thought was scary. She wasn't. I couldn't find her scary after seeing the look Tommy gave some people.

The dress was new, made of the finest silks and was surprisingly warm. Normally I left my silk dresses for the summer, but this one Grandmother insisted I wore today. I think she wanted to prove a point that she was wealthier than our guests. Not that I minded how the Shelby's lived. They were, after all, part of my family.

"Well go check with the kitchen that dinner is coming along," Papa said, sending me a wink when Grandmother wasn't looking. I smiled at him, knowing he was telling me to go to the stables.

I walked slowly out of the parlour, knowing Grandmother would say something if I rushed out. Daisy was pottering around in the hallway, prepping the flowers in the vases. She was wearing a light blue woollen dress, not her usual Lady's Maid's uniform. She looked wonderful and I was happy Papa had allowed her to wear her own clothes for today.

"Daisy," I called, smiling at her when she turned to face me. "I'm going to the stables; would you tell Grandmother I'm in the kitchen if she asks or make-up something if she goes into the kitchen?" I asked, knowing she'd do it without a question. That was Daisy, she didn't like Grandmother very much. Not the way Grandmother tried to get me marries off.

"Of course, My Lady," she said, dipping her head slightly as she glanced out the bay window by the front door. "Would you be needing your coat? Or anything else before you go?"

"Perhaps you would be kind enough to remind me where I last had my sketching pad?"

"I'll bring it out to you with a cup of tea. Heaven forbids you to catch a cold out there," she muttered, rushing off upstairs to get my sketch pad. I could see her no doubt grabbing one of the thick woollen cardigans as well. It was hard to believe that Daisy was only a couple of years older than me with the way she acted.

I shook my head at the thought, walking through the staff halls to get to the stables.

* * *

Chasing Dreams, or Chase as I called him, was relaxed in his stall, eating away at the carrots I had given him as a treat. I don't know how long I had been out here with him, but he'd calmed quite a bit since I sat out here with him.

I know I'd been out here long enough to do a rough sketch of Chase and was contemplating whether to make it a full sketch or leave it as a rough. I looked at Chase, trying to figure out if I had time to finish the drawing before the Shelby's got here.

"Your Grandfather told me you'd be out here," Tommy said, announcing himself. I faced him, hand resting over my heart. I hated how he could sneak up on me so easily.

"Tommy, you scared me," I sighed, letting him help me off the stacks of hay I sat on.

His hand moved down my arm, cupping my elbow as he pulled me into him, my bottom lip being caught by his teeth. I smiled into his kiss, resting my hand that didn't hold my sketchbook on his shoulder.

"We should go inside, Daisy said dinner is to be served soon," Tommy said, his lips placing a quick kiss on my cheek.

"I missed you," I told him, tucking my pencils under my arm with my book. "Is it sad that I missed you and there was only really a day between when I saw you last and now?"

"Hmm," Tommy muttered, slipping my hand on his arm as he escorted me back to the house. I smiled at his reply, knowing he wouldn't say anything. It was a Tommy reaction and I loved it.

"Are the boys here?" I questioned, excited to see Finn and John's boys. "They're going to love the room I set up for them. I managed to convince Papa to have the men move four beds into the largest guest room. I gave Finn his own room. I thought he might like it. I want him to keep that room when Papa gives me the estate, I mean. I want Finn to come and stay. I can teach him more about that horses and it'll be nice for him to have his own space." I couldn't stop talking. I don't know what's wrong with me. I think it was Tommy. I was his girl now and that made me nervous. Not that I had anything to be nervous about.

"What's wrong?" Tommy asked, coming to a stop at the staff door. I bit my lip as I glanced into the staff hall. "Elsie." Tommy tilted my chin, so I was looking him in the eye.

"I'm worried about Grandmother." I closed my eyes stepping closer to him. "She'll know something's going on with us as soon as she sees us walk into the dining hall, I don't want her to say anything about you."

"I can handle a few words from your Grandmother," he said, trying to reassure me.

"I don't know if I will though," I muttered, giving him a sad smile. "I care a great deal about you, Tommy. I'm not sure if I'll be able to hold my tongue."

"Then if she asks, we'll tell her the truth."

"The truth about what?" I asked, already knowing what he meant.

"That I'm courting you," he stated, pressing a kiss to my hand as he pulled me into the house.

"Is that what you're doing?" I wondered, waiting for him to give me a reply. One I knew I wouldn't get.

* * *

Dinner was amazing like everything Mrs Fenton cooked. The servers had taken away the dinner plates and replaced them with a collection of desserts. I was particularly fond of the lemon cakes.

"That was the best Christmas dinner I've had in years," Papa announced, resting his hands on the table as he looked to the children. "All to do with the excited chatter from you five." The boys giggled, diving into the sweet rolls they had snatched from the platter.

"Let us take this into the parlour," Grandmother said, rising from her chair. She gave the boys a distasteful look, giving Daisy a pointed glare as she stood behind them. "Daisy, why don't you take the children to their rooms. Have Mia and Zara help you wash them before they go to bed."

"Yes, Your Ladyship," Daisy replied, picking Jacob up as she ushered the other four out. John watched them go, a worried look on his face.

"Daisy will take care of them, John," I told him, giving him a reassuring smile as we followed Papa and Grandmother into the parlour.

Papa took his usual armchair and Grandmother sat on the sofa opposite him. Polly joined Grandmother on her sofa. Arthur took the other armchair and John and Ada took a seat on the sofa to the left of Papa. Tommy was already sitting on the last sofa and I slowly joined him.

It was as if everyone had purposely left that spot clear.

"Have you got plans for the New Year?" Papa asked once I joined Tommy. I looked at him, confused as to why he was asking. Papa and Grandmother were going to London, they were staying in the London House as they had been invited to a dinner party.

"Going to the Garrison to celebrate," Arthur said a smile on his face. We all knew what Arthur was going to be like in the New Year.

"And you, Tommy? Do you have plans for New Year's Day?" Papa questioned, his eyes on Tommy as he smiled. What was he playing at?

"Other than celebrating with my family? Nothing."

"Elizabeth and I were going to the races, but have a change of plans now. We've—"

"We've been invited to join the Prime Minister for dinner," Grandmother cut him off, a proud look on her face. I don't know why she was boasting. I doubt the Shelby's cared that they'd be joining the Prime Minister for dinner. I'd rather go to the races.

"Yes, as I was saying. Elizabeth and I can no longer go, and I was wondering if you'd escort Elsie for the day and accompany her to back to the estate?" I knew there was something strange about the way Papa was acting and was trying to figure out what when I saw the look Tommy was giving me. This had to do with Graves.

"I would be honoured," Tommy replied, giving Papa a slight smirk as Grandmother rolled her eyes. It almost made me laugh to see such a thing from Grandmother. She always tried to act like the proper Lady.

"Yes, well Edith will be the Lady of the Estate for the next few months while Alfred and I stay at the London House. It's a big responsibility for her, so she won't be able to have much free time between working at the school and keeping this place running," Grandmother told them, her eyes lingering on Tommy for a few seconds.

She knew.

She was telling Tommy to back off in a subtle way.

Tommy's fingers brushed my shoulder lightly and I knew he got the hint.

It would take more than my Grandmother to stop Tommy from doing anything.

* * *

**Thank you for reading xx**


	14. Chasing Your Hearts Desire

**Hope this chapter is what you guys have been waiting for. I do hope you enjoy it and please let me know what you think.**

**Thank you to everyone that is reading this story still, I do hope it is what you have been expecting.**

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**I'm currently editing this piece of work - when I mean editing, I mean I'll be adapting the story and plot, and I will be checking for grammar and spelling mistakes, but I may miss some as my main focus is on shaping the story, so it flows well before I continue adding more chapters. I am sorry if it takes a while, but I do hope you'll all be patient with me.**

**I would recommend re-reading each new edited chapter as there may be changes that would fit in with future chapter and future edits.**

**Thank you for your time and I hope you enjoy.**

**If you do have any problems or any suggestions, please let me know.**

* * *

**Edited: 13/02/18**

* * *

As the night went on and more drinks were shared out, I couldn't help but think about the New Year. Why did the plan with Graves have to happen then? Why couldn't we just enjoy ourselves for that night and deal with Graves another day?

I glanced at Tommy from the corner of my eye, noting that he was enjoying himself as he talked to Papa about the races. While I normally enjoyed anything to do with horses, I didn't want to think about them now, not while I was meant to be enjoying my day.

"Ada," I called to her, seeing that she looked as bored as I felt, "Would you like to join me in the library?" I felt Tommy's eyes on me then. did he have a problem with me leaving? I wasn't going to stay here just because he wanted me to.

I wanted to spend time with Ada and knew she wanted to get away from all this chatter as well. She looked positively bored listening to Polly and Grandmother talk.

"Of course," Ada said, taking my cue as she rose from her seat. I lead her out of the parlour and smiled as she let out a sigh of relief. "Your Grandmother is a nightmare."

"You don't have to tell me," I muttered as we walked down the hall.

"She was complaining about her clothes.  _Her_  clothes. She said they were getting old." Ada's cheeks had gone red at how annoyed she was. "I can bet she put them on new!"

"She probably did. I've never known her to wear things more than a few times."

As we entered the library, I turned to take in Ada's expression.

Her face had changed drastically.

Her eyes were darting around the room trying to look at everything at once. I understood that it could be a marvellous thing to take it at first glance.

Floor to ceiling bookshelves, jam-packed with all kinds of books. Books upon books covering any available surface. The comfortable sofas and elegant coffee table which had a selection of treats laid out. The little window seat with a pile of soft blankets.

"Do you like it?" I asked, pulling the bell to get service from the kitchen. I think it would be good to get some hot drinks while we relaxed. Perhaps Daisy will slip us a little more wine.

"It's beautiful," she whispered, spinning in a circle as she took everything in once again.

"It's my slice of heaven." I gestured for her to join me on the sofas. "No one comes in here. Papa has taken the parlour as his and Grandmother has the sunroom. This is my place.

"And it'll be a slice of my heaven tonight," she stated, slipping her shoes off and tucking her feet under her on the sofa.

* * *

"So, what's going on with you and my brother?" Ada asked, her glass of wine held tightly in her hand.

"I have no idea what you're talking about," I hiccupped, holding my hand over my mouth as the words tried to slip out. "He kissed me," I admitted the alcohol getting the better of me. "A lot."

"Oh," Ada giggled, her wine slipping out of her glass and over her dress. "And did you like it?"

"Oh, Ada, I loved it. He makes my stomach tingle," I gushed, feeling my cheeks heat with both the thoughts of Tommy kissing me and the wine.

"Maybe one day you'll end up marrying him," she said, the smile on her face growing at the thought. "Then we'd be sisters for real!"

"Shh," I whispered, leaning over to her and placing my finger on her lips. "Polly caught us in his office."

"She did?"

"I was on his desk and he was standing between my legs." I gave her a look, resting my hand on my stomach at the reminder of how excited he had been then. "He was very happy to be there if you get what I mean," I added, winking.

Ada burst into laughter, her wine glass now dropped to the floor, the little wine left in the glass spilling into the expensive rug.

"I wish I could have seen his face when you were caught."

"We've decided it start courting, but you mustn't tell my grandmother," I said hastily, cupping her cheek as she nodded seriously. "I really like him, Ada."

"I can tell," she told me. She looked around the room as if trying to understand where she was. "I have a secret to tell you, but you mustn't tell Tommy. I know I can trust you, but he'd do anything to get my secrets, even if it means slipping his tongue down your throat."

"Ada!" I snapped, sitting up as butterflies fluttered in my stomach at the thought of Tommy kissing me like that. "I would never allow Tommy to seduce your secrets from me," I added, grabbing her hand, hoping she'd understand I was telling her the truth.

"I've been sneaking around with Freddie Thorne," she admitted, her face worried as if I'd shout at her.

"I knew it!" I shouted, bringing her into a hug as she laughed. "As long as you are happy, I don't care."

"He makes me very happy," she said, hugging me tighter.

"Ada," Tommy called, the doors to the library opening as he walked in, frowning at the sight of us sat on the sofa, wine spilled on the floor and two empty bottles on the table.

"Thomas!" I exclaimed, happy to see him.

"I think it's best you two go to bed," he said looking at us.

"He wants to get into your bed," Ada giggled, slipping out of my arms as she stood and stumbled her way to Tommy. "Don't you go corrupting, Elsie, now big brother. She's still a virgin."

"Ada, stop," I begged, covering my face with my hands as I tried to hide from Tommy. He knew I was a virgin, but I didn't need Ada bringing it up.

"Right, that's enough," he said, taking Ada's shoulder and pushing her towards the door. "Off to bed now, and don't speak to anyone."

"Bye, Elsie!" she yelled, holding her hand over her mouth as she laughed and stumbled out of the room.

I glanced at Tommy before collapsing onto the sofa, my face buried in the pillow. I grumbled as he leaned down next to the sofa, his hand resting on my shoulder.

"I think it's time for you to go to bed as well," he said softly, his hand running through my messy braid. I shifted over, turning to face him.

"You're so beautiful," I muttered, lifting my hand and letting my fingers brushed against his lips. Tommy pressed a kiss to my fingers before standing and helping me up.

"Come on, I'll take you to bed."

"I don't think Polly will be happy about that," I giggled, leaning my head against his chest as he walked me out of the library. "What will she say?"

* * *

The dress was beautiful. The green silk would fit snuggly against my body and show off more than I would like. I had no idea why Papa had given me such a dress to wear. Biting my lip, I placed the dress down on my bed and looked to the lingerie Ada had insisted I wear tonight.

The set was lacy and white. There was a garter belt, and I had never seen such underwear before. I had no idea where Ada got this from. Or why she gave it to me to wear. What did she think I was planning on doing with Tommy tonight?

Running my fingers over the lingerie, I sighed and turned to look at the make-up on my dressing table. I had to put so much effort into tonight. I hope this bloody plan worked out in the end.

Tugging the towel off my body, I grabbed my moisturizing cream and quickly applied it before slipping into the lingerie. They were a comfortable fit and they made my skin look creamer against the white lace.

I pulled on my dressing gown and settled onto the bench in front of my mirror. Applying my make-up into an elegant style, I looked myself over in the mirror. I looked good. I had never applied my make-up so carefully before. The liner around my eyes made the green stand out brightly and the mascara made my lashes look longer.

Plucking up a deep red stick, I coated my lips in a fair amount before puckering my lips together and gently dabbing them with a tissue. Looking at myself once more in the mirror I fought the temptation to bite my bottom lip. I could understand why Ada had given me that lacy underwear now.

Looking this good, it was tempting to thinking about how I could be spending my night with Tommy.

Pulling my curls to the top of my head, I twisted half of it into an elegant braid, sliding in the delicate silver leaf slide into the end of the braid so it rested on the right side of my head. I left the rest of my hair to fall around my shoulder in their tight curls.

Once I was confident that my hair looked just as good as my makeup, I walked over to the bed and let my gown drop. Running my hands down my thighs, I slowly brought the dress closer to me.

Could I really do this? By putting on this dress I was allowing myself to slip into Tommy's lies. Would our plan really work? Would this mess with Graves be over if I went through with this?

Sighing, I slipped into my dress, happy that there was no corset. I would not be asking Tommy for help tying those strings. Letting my hands run down the dress I quickly slipped my feet into the low heels and grabbed the small beaded bag from my bed.

I entered the hallway, coming to the stairs and large entrance hall. I could see Tommy waiting by the door, a cigarette hanging from his mouth as he was waiting for me. At the sound of my heels clicking on the stairs, Tommy turned, his eyes widening slightly at the sight of me.

Watching his eyes widen was one of the biggest reactions I had ever seen from him. Was it bad? Did I look horrible?

"This dress is really tight," I said, resting my hand on my rib cage. I was curious to know that he thought.

"I can see," he grunted, his eyes taking in the dress as it clung to my body.

"People are going to stare at me, I won't like their eyes on me," I added, biting the inside of my cheek as I tried not to fidget.

"I won't either," he sighed, running his hand over his chin as he pressed his cigarette into the tray on the side.

"Maybe I should go change? I've got a better-fitted dress that'll look good."

"You look beautiful," Tommy said, pulling on my hand until I was standing in front of him. I looked up at him, feeling my cheeks blush at his words. He pressed a gentle kiss to my lips, smiling into it as his hand rested on my lower back. "Shall we head out?"

"If you insist, Mr. Shelby," I replied, rubbing his lips as they coated lightly with my red lipstick. I grabbed my coat, a long green cloak-like coat. Papa had gotten it for me as a Christmas gift. It was one of my favourite presents, it reminded me of the cloaks they wore in the past.

Taking my hand, Tommy led me out of the door and down to his car. It was a chilly night, fortunately, it wasn't raining but it would get colder as the night went on. As Tommy started up the car, warm heat washed over me causing goose pimples to rise on my arms.

This was going to be a new experience for me and for Tommy.

* * *

It was busy when we arrived. The staff was rushing around, trying to cater to everyone, while trying to get their other jobs done at the same time. Tommy parked in Papa's space and took my hand in his as we walked to join the small line that had formed outside.

It seemed some people were trying to get in without a ticket. I rolled my eyes at the thought. It was cold out here and while I wasn't as snobbish as my Grandmother, I didn't want to be hanging around in the cold.

"Mr Shelby," a voice called out gaining my attention as I turned to face the server as he came up to us. I recognized his face, he was the usual server that took Papa to his box, I think his name was James. "Lady Shelby, your Grandfather told me that I would be expecting the pair of you tonight. If you'll follow me," he gestured to the door and with a gleeful smile, Tommy followed after him. At least I wouldn't be standing in the cold for long.

As we made our way through the communal area to the stairs, I could see many well-dressed people as they engaged and started to join in on the early New Year celebrations. It made me smile, these people weren't as rich as those that had their own boxes and the fancy life, but they seemed to be enjoying things more. If Grandmother could see this and remember that she didn't need money to have a happy life.

"I've opened a bottle, but Lord Cromwell told me you'll be needing a softer drink, Lady Shelby," James said, nodding to the sparkling soda he had bottled next to the champagne. I clenched my jaw at his words but nodded when Tommy looked to me. "If you'll be needing anything else, don't hesitate to wave one of us down."

"Thank you," I muttered grabbing my glass and taking a hesitant sip. I looked at Tommy then, frowning as he sipped at the champagne. "I still don't see why I have to drink this. No one's looking."

"Got to make it look believable," he replied, placing his glass on the table before taking my hand in his and pulling me to the balcony. "Do we know any of the horses today?" I rested my hands on the balcony looking over at the horses.

I nodded my head, taking in Chasing Dreams as he was readied in his place. Next to him were a few other horses I knew, but I kept my focus on Chasing Dreams.

"We know number six," I told him, watching as he took in Chase before turning to me.

"That's your horse," he said, the shock on his face. I almost laughed. That was the second time today where Tommy had let me see his feelings as clear as day. "I didn't know he was racing today."

"It was a surprise." I took his hand in mine, pressing a kiss to the back of his hand as I gave him a soft smile. "And he's not my horse."

"But your grandfather told me he was." I rolled my eyes and I ran my fingers up his arm, a teasing smile on my lips.

"He is mine, but I'm gifting him to you," I whispered, pressing a kiss to his cheek as I let my fingers run at the bottom of his neck, slowly making my way up to the base of his head.

"What?" he asked, confusion lacing his voice as he tried to pull back to look at my face. I tugged on his head until his lips brushed lightly over mine.

"He's a late Christmas gift," I mumbled, pressing my lips to his roughly, stopping any more words for slipping out of his mouth.

* * *

"I'm sorry he didn't win," I said to Tommy as we watched the winning horse be crowned with a flower crown and the jockey given a bunch of flowers. I always found it odd that they gave male jockeys flowers. What were they going to do with them? Give them to their mothers or wives?

"He came second," Tommy replied, nodding to Chasing Dreams as he was given a carrot by the trainers. "He beat Graves' horse, so I see that as a win." I smiled knowing that Tommy would do anything to rub it Graves' face.

"I hope you're feeling up to the conversation, we've got to get through a dinner and I'm not sure who's sitting at our table. They'll all be wanting to know how you trained Chasing Dreams. It's the first time they've seen him here," I told him, rising from my seat as I looked longingly at his glass of champagne.

"I don't know anything about his training," Tommy said, downing his glass, giving me a smirk as if he knew how much I wanted his drink. Offering his hand to me, he tilted his head. "Shall we?"

"If you insist," I mumbled, taking his hand and allowing him to lead me into the large viewing room.

There were circular tables placed around the room, obviously put there while the races were on. They sat about eight people, and they were scattered around the area used for dancing. The tables only fit due to them removing the smaller tables that usually sat on the dance floor. It was a weird sight to see and I hoped that Graves wasn't sat anywhere near us.

"Mr Shelby," James said, giving a slight bow as he gained Tommy's attention. "I'll take you to your seats."

Tommy nod and we shared a glance before following James. It seemed that we'd be following James a lot tonight. Without Papa here, I was a little lost on what I had to do, and it seemed Tommy had no idea what to do either. I could only guess that Papa had spoken to James and told him to watch out for us tonight.

When James stopped at one of the tables, he gestured tot eh two names tags holding our names. Percy and his wife, Mary, were already seated on my right, while Tommy sat to my left. On his left, there was another young couple, one I hadn't seen before and opposite us was yet another young couple. Had we been sat on the young couple table tonight?

"Your horse did well tonight, Elsie," Percy said, as we joined him at the table. I smiled at him, happy to see Mary was here tonight.

"Chase is Tommy's horse," I stated, looking over Percy to see Mary. "You're looking wonderful, Mary. How's little Elizabeth doing?"

"Eliza's doing great, Percy's mother decided that Percy and I need the night off and gave us their tickets for tonight. She won't leave our house and every time I turn away she's there wanting to take Eliza from my hands. I love her, but she needs to give me my space," Mary gushed, resting a hand on Percy's arm as she leaned over him. I giggled at her words, knowing how Percy's mother could get.

"Tommy and I don't need to worry about our mothers trying to steal our baby away, we both lost our parents quite some time ago." I spared a glance at Tommy, not knowing how he'd feel at the mention of his parents. I knew he didn't get on with his father, I knew they hadn't spoken in years if what Polly had told me was true, I knew Arthur Sr. had abandoned them when Finn was a baby. "Though I do suppose Papa would be a nightmare with a baby in the house and Tommy's sister, Ada, would never give me a moment's peace." Mary laughed at my words, sharing a look with Percy. I went to reach for the glass of wine that had been set in front of me.

As my fingers wrapped around the stem, Tommy's fingers slipped the glass from my hand and replaced it with the sparkling elderberry. I huffed, giving him a glare as he tried to ruin my night.

"You're not drinking, remember," he said, waving off the bottle of wine the waiter tried to offer him. He poured himself a glass of sparkling elderberry as well and I almost laughed at the sight. Thomas Shelby drinking sparkling elderberry juice. "I'm driving," he stated reminding me that neither of us would be drinking tonight.

"Not drinking?" Percy asked, a glint in his eye as he looked me over. I swear his eyes rested on my stomach for a minute as he waited for an answer. I shook my head, turning away from the smug look on his face as the waiters started plating out the starter.

* * *

My head rested on Tommy's chest, listening to his heartbeat as we danced slowly to the live band. This was a nice moment. He was relaxed, and he was holding me in his arms and I felt so peaceful. It would be moments like this that I would treasure.

Moments when Tommy held me, and it felt like he cared for me. I knew he cared for me, him sending me away when Graves and his men came to The Garrison was proof of that.

Moments when I could forget about all the danger and just be with him.

I felt him press a kiss to my hair, his arm slipping around me until it rested lightly on my stomach. I sighed, closing my eyes as he pulled me closer to him. He was warm, and I had never felt more comfortable in my life than when I was in his arms.

The music came to an end and with annoyance, I pulled away from Tommy's arms. I wish the moment would have lasted longer.

"Another dance?" he asked as another slow song started playing. His eyes were the brightest I had seen them, and I could almost see the happiness in them.

"I'd rather we go home," I whispered pressing a kiss to his cheek. "But first, I need to use the Ladies' room."

"I'll escort you," he said, taking the lead as he shifted his way through the other couples dancing.

It was quieter in the hallway, but there were a few people wandering around. I caught one young couple sneaking kisses and it made me wonder if they were married or two children of the rich people that were disappearing off for a New Year's kiss.

"Thomas Shelby being a proper gentleman," I teased, leaning against the wall by the Ladies. "I'll be a moment and then we can go home, perhaps give into a nightcap?" I wanted him to agree so much.

Tommy nodded, pulling a smoke from his pocket and lighting it as he watched me leave for the Ladies. I gave him one last look before rushing into the toilet. I was looking forward to going home and being alone with Tommy. I knew I wouldn't be doing anything that Ada suggested, but being alone with Tommy where only I could see him was a wonderful thought.

Finishing my business, I went about washing my hands but kept my thoughts on Tommy. Would he think I was being forward with him? Did he think I had offered myself to him? I just wanted to be alone with him.

"Tommy, are you ready to—" a hand over my mouth stopped me from continuing and I looked down the hallway, not spotting Tommy.

"Graves is waiting for ya down in the stables," the man hissed, dragging me down the staff staircase to the stables.

I tried to struggle against him, but he was bigger than me. He pushed me into Graves' stable just as Graves lifted his gun and shot his horse in the head. I cried out as the horse dropped to the floor in a heap.

"Nice of ya to join us, Mrs Shelby," Graves said as he turned to face me. He waved at his man and I was pushed to the floor a few feet away from the horse. I blinked through the tears as I looked up at Graves as he loomed over me. "Perhaps we should bring your husband in here? He is, after all, the reason you'll have to hold a gun tonight."

His words confused me. What did he mean I'll be holding a gun tonight? My eyes went to Tommy as he was dragged into the stable, his arms bound behind his back. He was gagged as well, and he had a cut on his head, the blood running down the side of his face.

"What are you doing?" I asked, trying to keep my voice calm as I struggled not to cry.

"I'm going to get you, Mrs Shelby, to shoot your husband."

"What?" I cried, not understanding what he was talking about. Why would I ever shoot Tommy? I wouldn't.

"You, Elsie, Edith, whatever your name is, you, are going to shoot your husband," Graves said pulling me roughly to my feet. I stumbled slightly as he shoved his gun into my hand, his fingers gripping mine tightly until my fingers wrapped around the gun. "You will shoot him, or I will kill you and your unborn child." At his words, I felt a pressure against my stomach.

Looking down, I saw the silver of his knife.

* * *

**Thank you for reading xxx**

**I hope it was enjoyed xxx**


	15. Blood on Innocent Hands

With the knife placed against my stomach, I knew that I should do what Graves said, but I couldn't shoot Tommy. Why would I? Just because he asked me to?

Glancing at Tommy, I watched as he tilted his head towards his shoulder. I bit my lip, not caring anymore about smudging my lipstick. I knew what he was telling me. It was part of his plan, that was if Graves decided to act tonight, and it seemed he was.

My hand was shaking as I lifted the gun up, looking at the weapon as Graves huffed in annoyance. How could something so small end someone's life?

"Go on then," Graves urged, shifting closer to me as he waited impatiently. Why was he so insistent that I shoot Tommy?

Locking eyes with Tommy, I pointed the gun at him, his eyes showing no sign that he felt anything. I knew what he wanted me to do. We'd gone over it in the car if it was needed but I wasn't sure if I could do it.

Flexing my finger on the trigger, I sent a quick look at Graves before firing the gun just over Tommy's shoulder.

"I-I'm sorry," I cried knowing Graves would be annoyed with me. Leon, Graves' his son and the man standing behind me snorted at my miss.

A door slammed and Graves shot a look at the door. I could see the apprehension on his face.

"Leon, Jack, go see what that was, then go keep an eye on the doors, we don't want no one coming down here," Graves ordered them. They rushed out of the stable, leaving us alone with Graves and the man standing beside Tommy. "Now, Mrs. Shelby, why don't you aim that gun and fire it properly?"

Nodding my head, I raised the gun again, tightening my hand as it shook fiercely. With Leon and Jack gone, Graves had eaten into Tommy's plan. As Graves shifted next to me, I pointed the gun at the man holding Tommy and fired.

Blood splattered over Tommy's face, but my eyes didn't rest on him for long. I couldn't help but look at the man I had shot. He looked normal, but I knew he was anything but. He had been in part of Graves gang and he had hurt Tommy. Had he deserved what I had done? Had he deserved death?

"What have you done?" Graves cried out in horror, notifying me of his presence. I had somehow forgotten him once I pulled the trigger. I moved the gun on Graves, my finger on the trigger as I took him in. I knew I couldn't kill him, it would go against Tommy's plan.

Lowering the gun, I aimed at his kneecap, shooting. I watched as Graves dropped to the ground, blood pouring from his knee as he screamed. The knife he had was now on the floor and without hesitation, I plucked it up and rushed to Tommy.

Cutting at the ropes with the knife I breathed hard as I tried to keep my mind off the dead man beside me. I had killed him. It was me. I pulled the trigger and now the man was dead.

Tommy's hands came free and he quickly pulled the gag from his mouth. He shuffled to Graves as he curled up on the floor, crying out and shoved the gag in his mouth. Tommy didn't waste any time as he tied Graves up and he was by my side seconds after.

His fingers pried the gun and knife from my hands, tucking them into the back of his trousers as he took my hands back in his. His lips pressed against my head, one hand tucking my hair behind my ear.

"Let's go home," he said softly, his fingers brushing my cheek as he took my hand and lead me out of the stables.

He moved slowly, checking for Leon and Jack as we made our way out the back door, careful not to alert anyone to us. It wasn't raining when we came outside, but it was colder. Perhaps that was because I wasn't wearing my coat.

Tommy took me to the car, setting me in the passenger's seat before he rushed off, telling me to stay put. I chewed on my bottom lip as I waited for Tommy to return. What was he doing? Where had he gone? Why had he left me here?

"Here," Tommy said, coming up to the car. He wrapped my coat around me as he climbed into the car and started the engine. I spared me one last glance before driving away from the track.

* * *

The house was quiet when we entered.

I had sent the staff home for the holidays. Papa and Grandmother wouldn't be here for months and I didn't need someone to cook for me while I was here. It seemed the logical thing to do.

The rattling of Tommy's keys had me remembering what had happened tonight, not that it was easy to forget.

My mind was running around, showing me the man I had killed, over and over.

Kicking my heels off at the bottom of the stairs, I spared Tommy a look before rushing up them. How was he so calm? I had killed a man. How did he cope with that? What if I killed someone's husband? Someone's father? I knew I had killed someone's son, had he had a son?

My fingers shook as I pulled my hair from its braid, holding the silver leaf clip in my hand. I kept asking myself why I had done it, but I knew why. When I looked at the man I remembered him from the night at The Garrison. He had been there. I could only think of him being the one to hurt Tommy. I had let my emotions get the better of me. I let my emotions rule over my actions.

I had done that because I cared about Tommy. I didn't want to see him get hurt. I knew that man had hurt him, and I did what I could to stop it from happening again.

"You weren't meant to kill him," Tommy said, his gruff voice letting me know he was pissed.

"I know," I whispered, placing the clip carefully on my bedside table before looking at him. He had taken his coat off, but he was still wearing his suit, his tie loose around his neck.

"You killed him." Tommy took a step closer, his hands ran over his jacket as if he was unsure what to do with them. "Why?"

I wasn't sure how to answer. I knew if I told him the truth he wouldn't be happy, but if I lied to him he'd know I lied to him.

Avoiding his gaze, I let my eyes settle on the specks of blood on his shirt. I was used to seeing blood on him now, it would be strange not to find him either covered in blood or cuts and bruises.

"Elsie," he snapped, surging forward and grabbing hold of my arm. While his grip was firm I knew he wouldn't hurt me. "You went against the plan. No one was meant to die."

"Graves wanted me to shoot you, Tommy," I told him, finally meeting his eyes. "You would have died." I flinched as I said the last word.

"He said to shoot me, not to kill me," Tommy pointed out but we both knew what Graves meant.

"And if I shot you in the shoulder, Graves would have either killed you himself or made me do it," I said, knowing I was right. "I wasn't going to shoot you. I can't ever do anything to hurt you, Tommy."

"The plan was there for a reason, Elsie. It wasn't hard to follow." Tommy let go of my arm, bringing his hand up to rub his face. "I should have known that this would be too much for you. You're not made to be in my world, I shouldn't have indulged." He was muttering to himself, but his words pierced my heart.

"Not made for your world? I'm not naive, Thomas! I understand what was meant it happen, but I couldn't let that man live, not when I knew how he's hurt you. I killed him for you, Tommy. I killed him because I couldn't stand the thought of him hurting you again." I cried, wiping away my tears as I looked at him. How dare he be angry at me. "I didn't kill Graves, so your stupid plan can still work."

"That's not the point."

"I don't care! I wasn't going to shoot you, the thought of hurting you hurts me. It makes me sick. I won't do it."

"You're letting your emotions control you," he said the anger slipping out as he huffed, clenching his hands. "It's dangerous when you let emotions get involved."

"I'm not stupid, Tommy, I know it's dangerous, but I want it. If you think I can do everything without taking into account of my emotions, then you are wrong." I closed my eyes and thought about my next words. "I know what I feel for you, Tommy—"

"Stop—"

"I love you. I've only known you for a couple of weeks, but—"

"I mean it, Elsie—"

"But I can't deny that my heart belongs to you. If you can't accept that then perhaps you should leave."

I opened my eyes to see Tommy taking a step back, shaking his head.

"I can't love you," he muttered, turning and walking away.

My stomach dropped, and I turned my back to him unwilling to watch him walk away. I knew I wouldn't be able to handle that. Pressing my hand against my mouth, I smothered my sobs as I gripped hold of my stomach. Why did it hurt so much?

I felt him behind me before his hand rested on my elbow, twisting me to face him. His warmth caressed me, and I pressed closer against him, letting my head rested against his chest as my tears escaped.

His fingers brushed my tears away as he tilted my head up, catching my lips with his. Tommy wrapped his arms around me, his hands winding in my hair as he pressed kisses over my face, his kisses taking away my tears.

"I can't love you, I shouldn't love you, but I do." He cupped my chin, lifting my head until our eyes locked. "I love you, Elsie."

Our kiss was fierce and my heart beat in my chest like it was about to explode.

It was messy. Between my tears and how intense things were getting, from the heat building at the base of my stomach, I knew where this was going. I should stop him, but as Tommy moved me toward the bed, I knew what I wanted.

The sound of fabric ripping had me pulling away from him. My mouth hung open as he stood there breathing heavy, my dress held in his hands. He had torn it in half. Who was going to explain that to Papa?

The look he was giving me was enough to let me know that he was letting me decide what happened next. I could stop it all now or we could go on.

Raising my hands to his jacket, I gently pushed it from his shoulders, watching it drop to the floor. I hope it was enough to give him a hint at what I wanted. This was what I wanted. I wanted to be with him.

Tommy didn't waste time in trying to shrug his shirt off as my fingers tried to quickly undo his buttons. In my haste, I tore his shirt, the buttons popping off. Biting my lip, I gave him a small smile as he looked at his torn shirt.

His hands took mine, letting them drop to my sides as he ran his fingers over the lace lingerie. His eyes took me in the same way his hands did. They were gentle, and I shivered at his touch.

"You're beautiful," he sighed, pressing his lips to my neck. I sighed, feeling the blood rush to my cheeks at his words and actions.

Tommy's hands pulled on my lingerie, tugging it off slowly as his lips kissed my neck, towards my breasts. His feather-light touch against the swelled skin had me jumping slightly and my eyes were wide as I tried to calm myself against his touch. He could probably feel my heart thumping against his lips.

My eyes snapped shut as his tugged my slip down and his lips wrapped around my nipple. My fingers gripped his hair as his arm slipped behind me pulling me closer. My knees were shaking, and I had to push on his shoulder to keep myself standing.

How could anyone bear to feel like this? I felt like I was going to explode. Surely this couldn't be healthy.

Feeling me shake against him, Tommy slipped his hands down to my hips, the slip following his hands as he tugged it off. I ducked my head as I was left standing naked in front of him. What if he decided he didn't like what he saw and left?

His fingers brushing against my breast lightly had me shying away from him and I fought the urge to cover myself from his view.

"Look at me," Tommy said softly, his fingers running over my collarbone and up my neck as he cupped my chin, tilting my head up. I could feel that my cheeks were flaming as I locked eyes with him. This was the brightest I had ever seen his eyes. "We can stop."

"I don't want to stop," I rushed out, grabbing hold of his arm as if it would stop him from leaving.

"Why do you look like you so then?" he asked, his body stepping closer as I shivered at the cold air hitting my naked skin.

"I'm just scared," I whispered, licking my lips as I ran my eyes over his face. Even now, when it was just the two of us, his emotions were hard to read. How did he manage to keep his face so calm?

"I won't hurt you," he started, then seemed to pause as he looked down at me. His eyes roamed over my naked chest, down past my hips and over my legs. "Well, it will hurt but then you'll forget about it." I laughed at his words, feeling myself relax as I took in the confusion on his face.

"I know it will hurt, Tommy. I'm not scared because of that." I let my fingers run over his bare chest, caressing his skin and smiling as goose pimples rose to my touch. "What if you decide you don't love me after this?"

He responded by crushing his lips against mine, his hands tugging me firmly against his body. I could feel how excited he had gotten and it made my stomach bubble with warmth.

Tommy guided me back until my legs hit the edge of the bed. He pushed me down gently, his eyes on me as he pushed down his underwear. I was tempted to look but I knew if I did, I'd lose my nerve.

He climbed over me, his hands running up my sides as he pressed small kisses to my lips. As he settled between my legs, his eyes meet mine, asking if I wanted to go on.

He had asked me more than once if this was what I wanted. It almost felt as if he wasn't sure of himself. I could never imagine that. Tommy Shelby not being sure of himself. Pulling his head down to me, I pulled his lips into an intense kiss, hoping he'd understand that this was what I wanted.

He nudged my knees apart gently and I felt myself tense, knowing what was about to happen. Tommy's hand linking with mine relaxed me. I was being stupid. It wasn't going to hurt as much because this was what I wanted. Mah-mee always said it hurt if it wasn't wanted, but it was wonderful if it was. She told me it would hurt the first time, but it wasn't as painful as people made it out to be.

A sharp pain took me from my thoughts and I swallowed my moan of pain as Tommy stopped, looking down at me. I gave him a small smile as the pain went away and with a nod, he continued again.

I bit my lip as he pushed into me, tilting my head to the side as I closed my eyes, trying to stay calm. Tommy's lips against my neck helped me relax more and I allowed my self to calm down, letting my legs loosen their grip on Tommy's hips.

Turning my head to look at Tommy, I couldn't help the smile that crossed my lips as I watched him. His eyes were closed, and his lips pressed together but there was something beautiful about him. He looked content. He looked happy.

* * *


	16. Actions and the Consequences

There was a change in the air. Things were going to be different now because of our actions the night before. Would they be for the better? I wouldn't know that just yet. All I knew was that I had taken a large step in my relationship with Tommy, a large step that would affect both our lives.

"What are you thinking about?" Tommy asked, his hand brushing against my back as he pulled me closer to him. My head rested on his chest, his heart thumping in my ear.

"How things are going to change," I told him, tapping my fingers on his chest as I thought over what would happen next. "Where do we go from here?"

Tommy sighed deeply, his chest rising as if he was about to do something hard. Was he going to tell me that this was all it was going to be? That there wasn't going to be anything between us from here on out?

"We take it one step at a time," he said, pulling us up, his back resting against the headboard. I glanced up at him, pulling away so I could look at his face. I gave him a soft smile, knowing that this was the first time I would see him relaxed for a long time. His plan was going to be taking a lot out of him and I was happy that this moment was shared between us. "You're going to be targeted once it gets out that we're together, you know that?"

"I know." I couldn't help but trust him. Despite everything that happened the previous night, the way I had ruined his plan by killing that man and shooting Graves in the knee, he had still made sure I was safe. I could trust him with my life. Even now he worried about the people that would target me to get to him. "I trust you, Tommy. I love you," I whispered, hitching my legs over his hips as I rested on his lap.

He smiled at me softly and it almost caught me off guard. He never left his emotions show, it was a way to protect himself, but here he was showing me that he cared.

His hands rested on my hips, lifting me slightly before he lowered me down slowly. My head tilted back as I felt him slid into me and I closed my eyes as I rested my hands on his shoulders. This was a lot different from last night. Tommy had been in control then, but it felt like he was giving me all the control now.

He didn't make any indication that he wanted me to move, just dropped his head onto my chest, his lips kissing a trail over my breasts as his arm slipped around me. I sighed in content as I shifted slightly, feeling the groan in Tommy's throat at the friction it caused between us.

I couldn't help the laugh that slipped from my lips as I gripped his shoulder tightly as I lifted from him slightly, increasing the deep fire that grew in my stomach as the tension between us grew.

"Elsie!" a shout came, the door to my bedroom slamming open as Finn called out to me. I froze on Tommy, my head snapping to the door as nine-year-old Finn looked at us with wide eyes. He spun on his heel as his eyes dropped to Tommy, his cheeks flushed. "Aunt Pol! Tommy and Elsie are having sex!" he yelled down the hall ruining any moment we'd been having.

Tommy shifted under me, his hands gripping my hips as he pulled out with a disgruntled groan. His lips pressed against my head before he slipped out of the bed, quickly pulling on his trousers. I had managed to pull the sheets around me when Polly came into the room, his face just as red as Finn's but I could tell hers was out of anger.

"What are you doing here, Polly?" Tommy asked, shrugging on his shift, his fingers fastening the buttons as he kept his eyes on his aunt. I was absolutely mortified.

"We've been calling the house all morning. The news came early this morning about a death and injury at the races. They weren't giving much information, didn't tell us who it was, and we panicked. We tried calling, hoping it wasn't the pair of you, but no one answered." She paused, her eyes running over Tommy as he changed and then going to me sat on the bed wrapped in the sheets. "I can understand why now." She looked back to Tommy then, the angry so clear in her eyes and on the flush on her face. "You've fucking done it now, Thomas."

"We're together, Polly, even you thought we were sleeping together, what difference does it make?" he spat, handing me my dressing gown as he questioned his aunt. It took it from his hands, slipping it on quickly and climbing out of the bed. My eyes glanced over the blood stained on the sheets and y face heated in embarrassment.

"It makes a hell of a lot of difference, Thomas. Alfred and Aurelia heard Finn shouting, they're arguing downstairs." She fired off, coming into the room and going to my wardrobe. She pulled out a green dress and handed it to me. "I suggest you get dressed and then come join us in the parlour."

"What are they arguing about?" I asked already getting a sense of what was going on downstairs.

Polly gave us both a look, one that suggested we'd both knew what was about to happen as soon as we stepped out of the room and faced the consequences of our actions.

"You know what." She gave one last glance before going towards the door. She stopped as she was halfway out the door, the handle gripped tightly in her hand. "Please hurry, I can't stand the thought of Arthur trying to hold in his amusement."

"Arthur's here?" I asked, horrified to know that the eldest Shelby was here to witness everything. He was never going to let this go.

* * *

Tommy led the way to the parlour, his hand grazing my elbow as we stopped outside the door. I could see Papa and Mah-mee debating, Polly giving her input every now and then. Arthur and Finn sat on one of the sofas watching and I knew what was going to happen as soon as Tommy and I entered.

A shared look was enough for us to stop putting it off and we stepped into the parlour.

Mah-mee turned to me, her eyes glaring as she took in the way I hovered by Tommy's side as we walked to join them. I flickered my gaze to Papa and was surprised to see that he didn't seem angry or upset like I thought he would. Polly looked just as infuriated as she was earlier, and I could see the grin on Arthur's face.

"Arthur," Tommy started turning to look at his older brother. Arthur didn't say anything, just looked to Tommy, waiting for orders. I sometimes found it strange that Arthur listens to Tommy, what with him being the oldest, but realised it must have something to do with Tommy being at a higher station in the army. Arthur had to follow Tommy's orders then and he's still doing so now. "Take Finn out to see the horses."

"Aye, come along, Finn," Arthur said grabbing Finn by the arm as the boy went to protest. As soon as the door closed behind them, Mah-mee rushed to me, lifting my face in her hands.

"How could you be so stupid?" she asked softly, her fingers tugging my face to the left and right as if it could tell her why I had slept with Tommy.

"I've been questioning that," Polly interrupted looking at Tommy as he shifted slightly before dropping down onto the sofa.

"Well, it was a stupid thing to do but we all know how this is going to end," Mah-mee said looking to Papa as she stepped away from me. Her eyes dropped to Tommy as he pulled out a cigarette, meeting her gaze full on. "There will be a wedding in three days. I'll get to planning it, Polly, you'll be free to help?" Polly nodded at Mah-mee's words, but I was still having a tough time trying to wrap my head around it.

"Wait, you want us to get married?" I questioned, looking to Tommy to see what he thought about all this. He kept his eyes from me and I knew he was doing it on purpose. He didn't want me to see what he was feeling, that's the only reason he'd be keeping his eyes from me.

"That's ridiculous. You can't just expect us to get married."

"You gave yourself to him, Elise, you know what that means. The marriage is an ideal match for the pair of you. We shouldn't delay it any longer than we must, the Lee's want your hand and I've been trying to put it off, but I can only do so much for so long."

"Three days? Can't we wait until the end of the month? I'm not even sure why we need to marry so son anyway. Why not wait a couple of months? Have a short engagement before marriage." I said glancing at Tommy hoping he'd speak up and agree with me.

"It needs to be soon, you might be with child and we can't let that babe grow into a bastard. This way, if you do fall with child we can say it's a wedding baby." Mah-mee said looking between Papa and Polly for their agreement. Both nodded their heads in agreement, but I wasn't having it. What made them think they could take this away from me?

Papa had agreed that I could choose to marry out of love, but here he was taking my choice from me. Yes, I did love Tommy, but I wasn't ready to marry him. If I wanted to marry Tommy then I wanted it to be because he asked me, not because he was forced into it.

"Can't we wait till next week then? I'm due my course, if I get it then we don't need to marry, but if I don't, then we'll marry," I suggested, hoping they'd agree to that. I didn't want Tommy being forced into this marriage. If Tommy married me then I wanted it to be his own choice and because he loved me.

"We can't risk it," Polly said her eyes going to her nephew as if waiting for him to interject. He was silent still, his eyes not straying from the cigarette in his hand. Why was he not saying anything? "We'll go through with the wedding in three days."

With Polly's words as a final decision, Mah-mee and Polly left the parlour already planning the wedding. Papa paused, his eyes straying to Tommy before he gave me a soft smile and left the room.

Why hadn't he said anything to stop this? Why hadn't Tommy tried to stop this?

"Why haven't you said anything?" I asked, spinning on Tommy as soon as I was sure it was just the two of us.

"Because I knew what was going to happen once I decided to sleep with you," he said, flicking his eyes up to meet me for the first time since we entered the room. For once, I couldn't tell what he was feeling, his eyes hiding everything from me as he sat straight on his seat, his arm resting on the arm of the chair.

"So, you decided to sleep with me anyway? Did you want to marry me, Tommy? Is that why you slept with me? You did all that just to marry me?" I was angry, that much could be told through the roughness of my voice. That and I was trying not to cry.

"Of course not." For some reason, I was finding it hard to believe him. If that wasn't the truth, then why hadn't he argued with Polly and Mah-mee when they were talking about getting us married.

"You didn't fight for us, Tommy. You let them take over and plan everything without saying anything. I find it hard to believe that you'd be okay with Polly planning your life without you having a say in it." I paused looking at him carefully as he titled his head to the side as if avoiding my eyes. "You wanted it to happen right? That's why you slept with me? You wanted them to say we'd have to get married. What was it you wanted? My money? Did you want my hand in marriage for my money? If that's what you wanted, you could have asked. I would have given you money. You don't need to embarrass me like this." I cried, wiping furiously at the tears as they rolled down my cheeks.

"Elsie, stop," Tommy warned, rising from the sofa, reaching a hand out to me. I stepped away from him, turning my back as I closed my eyes, willing the tears to stop. "El,"

"I really don't want to speak to you right now, Tommy," I said, happy that my feelings didn't come out in my voice. I didn't need him to hear how broken I was, not after he'd seen what he'd already done to me.

"Elsie, I didn't sleep with you for your money." His fingers gripped my hand tugging me to face him. I could see in his eyes that he was telling the truth, but I didn't want to give into him. He had admitted that he knew what would happen if he slept with me. I knew what would happen too, but I tried to forget about it in the moment. I wanted to believe that it was just the two of us and no consequences. "You know I didn't."

"I know," I told him, sighing as he pulled me into his chest, his arms wrapping around me, one resting on my lower back and the other grabbing hold of the hair at the base of my neck. His lips pressed lightly against mine before pulling away and pressing to my head. I closed my eyes as I rested my head against his chest, worrying about what was going to happen in the next couple of days and then the coming weeks. "We'll be okay right?"

"We'll try to be okay," Tommy muttered not promising me anything. I had noticed that he never made a promise if he couldn't be sure to follow through with it.


	17. You’ll Be My King and I’ll Be Your Queen

"We should probably be the ones to tell John and Ada about the wedding," I said to Tommy, pulling away from him and looking to the slightly ajar door. Papa, Mah-mee and Polly were out in the hallway no doubt making plans. "We'll have to tell Mah-mee not to tell the family until tomorrow," I added knowing that if my family knew then the whole of Small Heath would know.

"Let's go stop her before she leaves," Tommy muttered, taking my hand in his as he led us out of the parlour to join everyone in the hall. The three of them looked to us as we joined them, and I was waiting for them to say something.

From the look on Polly's face, it was as if they were expecting us to fight back. Did they really think we were going to fight back? Tommy had already accepted what was going to happen and I had too.

"We should be leaving," Mah-mee said, looking to Polly as if the other woman would protest.

"Aurelia," Tommy said gaining her attention before she could leave. "Elsie and I want to tell John and Ada tonight. We don't want you mentioning anything to the family until tomorrow. Is that clear?" I would have found it shocking for Tommy to speak to Mah-mee like that, she would have scolded him, but she just nodded as she left, and I was confused.

Mah-mee never let anyone speak to her like that. she must really like Tommy.

"I'll be seeing you tonight then," Polly said, looking at both Tommy and me, her eyes settling on our joint hands.

"Umm, Polly, would I be able to speak to you for a minute?" I asked, giving Tommy's hand a squeeze before walking over to Polly, looking over my shoulder as Tommy walked with Papa to a corner.

"He's fallen hard, that boy has," Polly said, her eyes looking over my shoulder at Tommy. I was tempted to look back at him, but I needed to say my words to Polly.

"Polly, I understand that you may not be happy with me right now, but what happened with Tommy, that wasn't—"

"I'm not mad at you if that's what you think," she started, her hand rising and cupping my cheek in her palm. "Tommy needs you, but I just think you went about it the wrong way. You'll be married in three days, it was bound to happen, but it would have been better if you waited a couple of months." I nodded at her words. It was exactly what I wanted, but due to the circumstances, it wouldn't be.

"I value your opinion, Polly. You're like a mother to me, during the war, when I started helping you with the boys, I realised that I needed someone like you in my life. I want your opinion now," I reached up to her hand, gripping it tightly as I looked into her eyes. She would tell me the truth. "Do you think I'm doing the right thing? Marrying Tommy? You're all forcing us into this. What if Tommy doesn't want to be in this marriage? What if he's just doing it because you're all forcing us to?"

"I think you're doing the right thing, sweetheart. By asking these questions shows how much you love Tommy. And the looks he sends you show us how much he loves you. I think you're both doing this because it's the right thing and I can assure you that I know that you're both doing this because you love each other and not because you're being forced to do it."

"You really think that?" I wondered, biting my lip as I tried to fight the smile that grew at her words.

"You know I do." Polly looked over my shoulder, her eyes settling on Tommy once again. "I should be going, Arthur drove us here and I knew Aurelia will be wanting to get back."

"I'll see you later tonight then, Pol?"

"Of course." I gave her a hug before she left then slowly turned to see Tommy and Papa.

Papa was standing alone in the hall, Tommy shutting the door behind him as he went back into the parlour.

"Papa,"

"Elsie girl, we are in trouble." Papa ran his hand across his face but when he pulled his hand away he gave me a big smile. It was that happiest I had seen him in a while. "I'm glad you're marrying Tommy, I really am. I just wish it was under different circumstances. You're Grandmother is going to throw a fit. I doubt she'll turn up to the wedding,"

"That doesn't bother me," I said quickly, giving him a cheeky smile. "As long as you're there, Papa, then I'll be happy."

"And I will be my sweetheart, but first I have to return to London."

"But Papa, the wedding is in three days, will you return in time?" I asked not wanting to marry Tommy if Papa wasn't there.

"I'll be back either tomorrow evening or the following morning. I promise you, Elsie, I will be there for your wedding." He promised, pressing a kiss to my forehead as he gave me a soft smile. "I best be off now, darling. I see you soon and please don't worry about anything."

"I love you, Papa," I whispered to him, my eyes watering as I said goodbye. I don't know why I was getting so upset for. I would be seeing him in a few days.

"I love you too, Elsie." Papa grinned as he tilted his head towards the parlour. "I think it's best you go to your fiancé now."

"Papa," I chuckled, pushing his shoulder as he gave me one last smile as he left the house. Sighing deeply, I stared at the closed door before turning to go into the parlour. "Jesus, Tommy!" I snapped as I spun right into him. How had I not heard him? "What are you doing?"

"I was waiting for you," he said as if it should have been obvious. Was he regretting everything now that we were alone? "Come for a drive with me?"

"You don't have to sound so worried, Tommy. I love spending time with you." I told him, giving his hand a squeeze as he led me to the front door. He handed me my coat before ushering me out of the house.

* * *

We were driving for about half an hour when Tommy pulled over in front of a country house. I had no idea where we were, and Tommy had a flare of mystery about him. I think he was rather enjoying himself.

He took my hand in his as we left the car, giving my fingers a soft tug as he knocked on the door. A few seconds later a stout, blonde-haired woman opened the door a large smile on her face.

"Tommy, dear, it's so good to see you," she exclaimed, bring him into a hug as he stepped into the house. Tommy must have known her well or she would have never gone to hug him. actually, I was rather confused as to why she did hug him.

"Nora, a pleasure as always." Tommy looked at me then, a grin on his face as he waved me into the house. "Nora, I want you to meet my fiancé, Elsie. Elsie, this is Nora. She used to babysit us when my mum was still alive."

"I wouldn't call it babysitting, Tommy. You boys were hardly in the house." She laughed at her own words, but Tommy laughed with her. I had never seen him like this before. I liked it.

"You came here for the boy then?" she asked causing me to freeze at her words. Boy? What boy? Had Tommy a bastard son and he wanted me to be introduced? did anyone else in his family know about his son?

"You know I did, Nora. Can we see him?" Tommy wondered stepping further into the house as Nora lead us into a back room.

My heart stopped in my chest at the sight before me. I couldn't help the sile that spread on my lips as I looked down at the boy they were talking about.

"He's absolutely adorable," I cooed dropping to my knees and welcoming the boy into my arms. "Can I keep him?" I asked, laughing as the puppy licked my face.

I almost felt foolish thinking Tommy had a bastard son he was telling me about, but the puppy took my attention and all I could think about was the joy he gave me.

"He is yours," Tommy said a smug look on his face as he watched the puppy shower me with kisses. I suppose he was just jealous he wasn't getting all my attention. "He's a late Christmas present. I couldn't bring him home until today."

"You got me a puppy for Christmas?" I exclaimed, excited that the pup was mine and I didn't have to break two hearts when I left today. The little Beagle was a beauty and I never wanted to part with him.

"Well, you did by me a horse. Now I don't feel like I was the only one buying an animal as a present."

"This is the best present anyone had ever gotten me," I told him, not able to keep the large smile on my face.

I could admit that Tommy had been listening to me. I had told Ada a couple of weeks ago that I was thinking about getting a new puppy and now here I had this little guy.

"I'm glad you like him," Tommy said the relief making its way into his voice. It made me happy that he couldn't always keep his emotions from me. "Do you have a name?"

"I think I'm going to call him Hunter," I replied, running my hand over his head as he tried to climb up me.

A soft cry pulled my attention from Hunter and I couldn't stop the loud coo as I saw a smaller puppy stumbling his way over to us.

"That's the last little guy left," Nora explained as she placed a bowl of milk on the floor by the puppy. He lapped it up, his tongue flicking into the milk and across his mouth. "He's the runt and I can't get anyone to buy him. I'm thinking about giving him to someone for free just to make sure he gets a home."

"I'll buy him," I said quickly, knowing I wouldn't hesitate about taking him home. Nora laughed at my words but stopped when she realised I was being serious.

"Are you serious?" she asked, her eyes roaming over Hunter in my lap and then to the puppy. She looked at Tommy. "Is she serious?"

"I believe so, Nora. We'll take them both and I'll pay you for each of them," Tommy told her as he leant against the wall watching me as I gasped in excitement.

"Did you hear that Hunter? You get to take your little brother, Winston, home with us." I cooed to the dog on my lap as I reached over and ran my fingers over Winston's head.

"Hunter and Winston? I don't think I want to know what you'll name our children," Tommy said sharing a look with Nora.

I froze at his words. Something about me having Tommy's child scared me. Was it because there was the possibility that I was already carrying his child? I didn't know. Or was it because having children meant we'd be together for a long time?

There was one thing I hoped, and even though it made me seem heartless, I was wishing that I wasn't with child already. I wanted there to be time before we made that decision. Having a childing exactly nine months after our wedding wasn't something I wanted.

* * *

"Are you sure you're going to be okay, Daisy?" I asked her, cuddle Winston tightly in my arms as she smiled at me, Hunter running around our feet.

"I've managed to put up with you, Elsie, I'm sure I can handle two puppies," she said, causing Sam to laugh as handed Tommy his coat.

While I had sent all the staff home, Daisy lived in a cottage behind the stables and Sam stayed in the estate as he wanted to stay with Daisy. She said she wouldn't leave me and told me she would be seeing her family at her wedding in a few months.

"I resent that," I replied, knowing she was talking about all the times she had seen me sneak out to go to the stables when Grandmother said I couldn't.

"El, we should head out," Tommy said. I looked to Winston, pressing a kiss to his head before handing him to Daisy. I walked to Tommy, slipping my arms into my coat as he held it out for me.

"We'll probably be back tomorrow, Daisy. If you need anything, call the house, the number is on Papa's desk in his office," I told her, as Tommy rested his hand on my lower back, leading us from the house.

Tommy started the car and within minutes we were on our way back to Small Heath. I gazed at him as he drove, his hands holding the steering wheel lightly, a cigarette hanging from his lips and his jaw clenched as if he wanted to say something.

I still wasn't sure how he felt about all this. Was he just going with it because it was out of his hands or was he telling the truth when he said that he loved me, and it was going to happen anyway?

It startled me when Tommy pulled to the side of the road only ten minutes into the drive. We were nowhere near Small Heath yet, it would take another twenty minutes and from here I couldn't see the bustle of the city. The sides of the road were covered in forests on either side. This was still part of the Cromwell Estate and was technically a private road.

"What are you doing?" I asked as he climbed out of the car. He gave me a small smile as he walked around the front of the car and opening my door.

"Come for a walk with me," he said, offering me his hand. Though not many people used this road unless they were going to the estate. I placed my hand in his and watched him place his keys in his pocket as he led me into the forest at the side of the road.

We walked for a few minutes, Tommy's hand in mine as he led me through the thick trees. As we reached a small meadow of frozen flowers I realised where we were. A few paces in front of us was the lake that resided in the gardens of the estate. In the distance, I could see that large brown building and tried to spot my room. It was harder in the distance and as I looked at the house from here, I finally realised how big it was. What did people think when they saw this? To me, it was just home but to others, it could be compared to a castle.

I understood why John's boys had gotten so excited when they first saw it.

"Elsie," Tommy said softly, gaining my attention as I turned away from looking out at the lake and to him. He was shifting beside me as if he was nervous about something. What had Tommy to be nervous about? I looked into his eyes and he quickly looked away from me. "Look, I know that this wedding wasn't something you wanted. It's fast and to be honest I would rather we wait a few months."

"You should have said something then," I said feeling myself getting angry at his words. Is this where he was going to tell me that he didn't want to get married so fast?

"No, I do want to marry you, I just didn't want it to happen so fast, the wedding that is. I wanted us to have some time to get to know each other a little more before we married. It's not like we can change anything after."

"Well, we can—"

"You know that's not what I meant." I couldn't help but laugh at the look on his face as he interrupted me. "I like you, a lot. I actually love you, so there's no way I wouldn't want to be with you."

"Tommy, why are you acting like this?" I asked him, confused as to why he was telling me all this. It wasn't him.

"I don't know, I'm just," he paused as if he wasn't sure what he was thinking. "I'm just—"

"Scared," I finished for him. "I know how you feel. I'm scared too, but we can make this work." I ran my fingers over his cheek, liking the way he seemed to relax under my touch.

"I know, I'm just nervous," he said softly as he took my hand in his.

"What do you have to be nervous about?" I asked, pulling away from him slightly as I took him in. he was fumbling with something in his pocket and as he let out a deep breath he slid a ring onto my left hand, ring finger. "Oh," I whispered as I bit my lip looking down at the slim ring he had just given me. I blinked quickly, pushing back the tears as I gazed at the ring.

It was beautiful and something I couldn't see Tommy picking out.

"It was your grandfather's mothers ring. He said he was going to give it to your grandmother, but she had a  _certain_  taste and he knew she wouldn't like it," Tommy explained as he held my hand in his as I nodded at his words. I was certain that my grandmother would not have like this ring. "He said it was to be your mothers, but she met your father and told him she didn't need it and that he could give it to her child if she had any."

"It's beautiful, Tommy," I told him, bringing him in for a kiss as wrapped my arms around his neck. "I love it because it's very thoughtful of you to give it to me. You could have brought me a ring, you didn't even need to get me one."

"Yeah? And let Ada shout and moan at me for months after the wedding?" he joked causing me to push his shoulder as I stepped away from him.

"I would have been happy without a ring. You know that right?"

"I know," he said nodding his head.

"You told me that I wasn't going to be getting romance from you," I teased, running my fingers down his coat as he gave me a charming smile.

"Well I suppose I should treat you every now and then." he pulled me to him, brushing his fingers through my hair and he pressed a soft kiss to my lips. "Come on, we should head back and tell Ada and John about the wedding."

I nodded, letting him take my hand and pull me back to the car. As we drove off I couldn't help but look down at the ring, a smile tugging at my lips.


	18. A Little Heart to Heart

"Oh my God, this is amazing!" Ada shouted, her hand covering her mouth as she bounced on her feet. I could already tell that this was the best news she had received in a long time.

"Good one, Tommy Boy," Arthur grunted, clapping Tommy on the shoulder as John took me into his arms, pressing a kiss to my cheek.

"I hope this is what you want," John asked softly, his eyes scanning my face to make sure I wasn't lying to him. I gave him a soft smile, leaning up and pressing a kiss to his cheek.

"It is what I want, John," I told him, moving away from him as Tommy glanced at us. "I hope you're ready to be busy, Ada, the wedding's set for the fourth," I said to her watching as she furrowed her brow.

"The fourth of this month or next?" Although she asked, I could already tell that she knew it wasn't the latter.

"As in three days," I offered giving her a soft smile as she looked startled. She gave Tommy a look before snatching my hand and dragging me into the closed off living area. She turned to me as she shut the door behind her.

"Did you sleep with him?" she asked. I didn't know if she was scolding me or if she was excited about the news. My cheeks were already flaring at her words and I bit my lip looking around the room, avoiding her gaze. "Oh my god, you did!" she exclaimed, grabbing hold of my hand and dragging me to the sofa. "Elsie, I can't believe it. Well, I can. I was expecting it to happen sooner or later, John and Arthur already thought you'd had sex, but I knew you would have told me. This is big, like really—"

"Ada, take a breath," I told her, shaking her hand off mine as I avoided her gaze again. "I think he regrets it."

"What? Tommy cares about you deeply, Elsie. He wouldn't have slept with you if he didn't." she scolded, and I felt like she was taking Tommy's side because she was his sister. "What happened? Why do you think that?"

"Last night, when we were at the races, I killed a man," I admitted, feeling the constricting hold in my throat relax as I let the words slip out. It was like something heavy had been taken away.

"Did you do it for Tommy?" she asked receiving a nod for a reply. "I think that's why you're questioning everything. You killed someone to save him and you're wondering if that's why he's with you."

"I didn't think about it like that," I muttered, finally realizing that it was what I had been thinking and why I had been getting angry at Tommy.

"I think you're struggling with the fact that you killed someone. This has nothing to do with Tommy, does it?" At her words, I couldn't hold back the tears anymore.

Ada pulled me into her arms, her warmth washing over me as I let myself cry. I had been keeping it in since last night. I had been keeping a lot in since last night. I hadn't allowed myself to have one minute to think about anything.

"I'm sorry," I whispered, pulling out of her arms, wiping at my eyes with the sleeve of my dress.

"You never have to apologize to me, not when you saved my brother," she said, her hand taking mine and giving it a squeeze. "In more ways than one." Her added words left me thinking about that time he woke in the middle of the night to a nightmare. He was being haunted by his time in the war and I think everyone could see that.

"It's all I've been thinking about this morning. The man I killed. Whenever I'm left to think, I can only think of him. What if he had a family? A wife? Children?"

"It'll always be with you, but just think how you'd be if it was Tommy that died. We would have all lost him and you would never be getting married. You would have never lost your virginity to him," she teased, causing my cheeks to heat.

"Ada," I scolded, hitting her lightly on the arm as I bit my lip. "I've been really unfair to Tommy, I should probably apologize to him."

"I know a way that'll make him happy." Ada wiggled her eyebrows, a smirk lifting her lips.

"Ada!" I snapped, pushing her as I rolled my eyes. "That's something else that's been bothering me. We don't know each other that well. How can we be expected to marry if we hardly know each other? I know everyone will say we'll have time to get to know each other, but I want that connection now." I told her, resting on the sofa, clutching a pillow in my hands.

"Just ask him," she said. We looked at each other for a second before bursting out with laughter. "Right, okay, I understand that he can be a little hard to talk to." She looked around the room, before nodding to herself. "I'll talk to him."

"You don't have to, Ada, I can deal with it," I told her, rising from the sofa, setting the pillow down. "I think it's best we join the others now." Ada stood, nodding her head at my request.

"Everything's going to be fine, and if you ever need to talk, you can come to me," she promised. I sometimes forgot that Ada was as trustworthy as they came. She was almost like Tommy. She was so good at keeping things hidden from others. Hell, she'd been seeing Freddie without anyone noticing.

As we stepped back into the kitchen, Arthur and John were shrugging on their coats. Polly was hustling the boys to get their shoes on and Tommy was sat at the table a cigarette in his hand as he watched his nephew's struggle into their shoes.

"Are we going somewhere?" I asked, looking to Ada as she looked just as confused as I felt.

Jacob giggled as he saw me, rushing to my side, lifting his arms up. I picked him up, holding him close as he rested his head against my shoulder, wrapping his arms around my neck.

"We're off to The Garrison to celebrate," Arthur said, leaning down and helping the twins with their coats. It was weird seeing Arthur acting fatherly to the twins, but they were his family and there was no doubt how much Arthur loved his family.

"All of us?" I wondered. Normally no kids were allowed in the Garrison, they were Tommy's rules, but I suppose the Shelby's could break those rules. Arthur and John nodded and started ushering the kids out of the house.

"Come along, Jacob," Polly said, taking Jacob from my arms and setting him on the floor. She took his hand in hers and started leading him out of the house.

Ada rushed around the kitchen, getting her coat and bag while Finn grumbled, giving Tommy a glare as he stomped after Polly, Ada at his heels. I was going to have to talk to Finn and ask him what was wrong.

"You've been crying," Tommy noted, rising from his seat. His fingers brushed against my cheeks, wiping where my tears had once been. I guess my cheeks and eyes were red from crying. "Are you okay?"

"I am, thanks to Ada," I told him, taking his hand in mine and pressing a kiss to his wrist. "I have to apologize to you." Tommy frowned, his eyes showing his confusion.

"For what?"

"I've taken everything out on you. I've blamed you for a lot, but it was me that was the problem. I didn't know how to sort out my feelings and my thoughts, so I just blamed you for everything." I slid my hand up his arm, resting it lightly on his heart. "I've been acting a like a whiny bitch and I hope you can forgive me."

Tommy pulled me into him, one hand resting on the back of my head as he placed his lips to mine. The kiss was deep and sensual, and it took my breath away. Tommy pulled away, his fingers moving from my hair and over my swollen lips.

"Let's meet the others outside," he said, grabbing my coat from the back of the chair and helping me into it.

* * *

The Garrison was packed when we entered, a lot of the Blinders already sitting around and drinking. Arthur and John were already drinking when we arrived, they had drinks lined up ready for us. Polly and Ada were ushering the boys into the private room, closing the door behind them after Polly no doubt told them to behave.

Tommy guided us to the bar and Arthur handed us drinks. Once we all had a glass in our hands Arthur called out for silence in the bar. He ignored the warning look Tommy gave him, his arm raising in the air for silence.

"Oi, listen up everyone, I've got some news!" Arthur shouted, the pub dropping into silence as the eldest Shelby gained everyone's attention. "Good, good. Right, we've come 'ere tonight to celebrate. And now you're all wondering what we 'ave to celebrate, right?"

"Arthur," Tommy hissed, his hand tightening on my lower back as he tried to reign Arthur in. I knew it was no use, but I liked how hard Tommy was trying. We all knew Arthur wasn't going to stop now.

"The last couple of years have been hard for all of us. The war took its toll and a lot of good people were lost." Everyone raised their glasses at Arthur's words. It was impressive. I knew Arthur, but I didn't know he could move a room with his words. "As a family, we've suffered." I felt my stomach drop at the mention of Martha.

"Arthur," Tommy whispered, trying to gain Arthur's attention.

"But's it's with happiness that we gather here tonight," Arthur turned to look at Tommy, reaching over and pulling him closer. "After thinking my little brother was going to be alone forever." Queue awkward laughing from everyone. It seemed as if they found it funny, but they didn't want to laugh at Tommy outright. I couldn't stop the laugh from slipping out as I looked at Tommy's annoyed face. "It's with great happiness that I can announce that Tommy is to be married to this beauty," Arthur said, gesturing to me.

I felt my cheeks flush as every directed their eyes to us. Cheers erupted through the bar as they all celebrated the news. People came up to Tommy, congratulating him on our news.

I slipped away from Tommy, letting Ada bring me into her arms once again as she let her happiness shine through as she hugged me tightly. She moved on, going to Tommy and I was left with Polly.

"I'm really proud of you," she whispered, pressing a kiss to my head as she moved us over to the private room. "Finn wants to speak to you," she said, ushering me into the room.

When I entered, I could see Jacob fighting to keep his eyes open as he curled up on the seats. Michael, Matthew, and William were hunched over the table, drawing. Polly had no doubt brought their pencils for them, she would have known they'd be bored. Finn was sat on the opposite side of the room, his arms folded across his chest and a frown on his face.

His eyes met mine as I entered the room and he turned away from me. I knew Polly had been lying now about Finn wanting to talk to me. She had wanted me to talk to him.

"Finn," I said softly, dropping to the floor in front of him as I took his hand in mine. "You know I'm going to ask you what's wrong, right?" Finn didn't answer, keeping his eyes locked on the wall as if it would stop me. I sighed, lifting my hand and cupping his cheek, turning so I could look at him. "I saw the look you gave Tommy earlier; do you want to tell me what that was about?"

"You're gonna forget me now," he grumbled. It was spoken softly that I almost missed what he said. I wanted to smile at his words, but I knew it would upset him.

"Finn," I said firmly, giving him a pointed look. "Do you honestly believe I would forget about you just because I marry Tommy?" He didn't answer. I shifted into a more comfortable position and rested both my hands on his knees. "Just because I'll be Tommy's wife, doesn't mean I won't have time for you. I'll be your teacher, but I'll also be your sister."

"But no one has time for me," he said, his voice rising slightly as his cheeks flushed with his anger.

"How am I meant to teach you to train the horses if we don't spend time together?" I asked him, squeezing his hand as he gripped mine with both hands. His eyes were watering but he didn't shed a tear. He also looked embarrassed now.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, looking away from me quickly, before looking back.

"You don't need to apologize, Finn. It's okay to feel, you know that, right?" I said. I did hope that over the years with his brothers away, Finn would have been a little more hospitable with his emotions.

"You'll just love Tommy more than you'll love me."

So that was the real problem.

"Finn, I do love you and I do love Tommy. The love I feel for you is different from the love I feel for Tommy. Tommy can never replace you in my heart. You remember that," I told him, pressing a kiss to his head as I got up.

I gave the boys one last glance before leaving the room. As soon as the door was closed behind me, a strong grip on my hand pulled me to the opposite side of the pub. Freddie was giving me a look, his eyebrows furrowed, and his lips turned down.

"I told you to stay away from Tommy and now you're marrying him," he seethed, the anger and annoyance clear in his voice.

"Freddie," I started only to stop when he glowered at me.

"Don't start making excusing, Elsie, what are you doing?" he asked. I paused, wondering how Freddie would take it if I told him I slept with Tommy and now we had to marry because of it. Freddie took my pause as meaning something else. "Is he forcing you to do this?"

"No!" I snapped, pulling my arm from his grip as I glared up at him. I knew Freddie and Tommy didn't get along, but Tommy wouldn't hurt me, and he wouldn't force me to do things. Freddie knew that. "It's complicated, Freddie." I rubbed my face wanting to tell Freddie the truth but wanting to keep it from him as well. "We care about each other and what we're doing is the right thing."

I knew it wouldn't be wise to tell Freddie that I loved Tommy. He would have told me it was a game Tommy was playing.

"Are you pregnant?" Freddie asked. I couldn't help but laugh. Why did he assume I was marrying Tommy just because I was pregnant?

"No, I'm not," I said, hoping now that I didn't end up being pregnant. Should I have told him that I could be? "Freddie, look, I'm—"

"Elsie," Tommy said softly, his hand resting on my back as he joined us. The tension between the two was intense. I felt like I could cut it with a knife. "Polly wants to speak with you." His tone left no room to argue. I pressed a kiss to his cheek before walking to Polly, glancing over my shoulder to see Tommy taking Freddie outside.

I stopped. Was I meant to follow them? I know Tommy told me to go to Polly, but I didn't want him fighting, especially not with Freddie. I had been wondering what had happened between them after learning that they were once best friends, but I didn't want to ask. I didn't want to ask Freddie and I really didn't want to ask Tommy. I had the feeling they'd give me different answers.

"It's alright, love," Arthur said, his hand resting on my shoulder. I took my eyes away from the door to look at him. "John's already gone out there and I'll be going now." I nodded, feeling assured that everything would be fine. "Go on, Pol and Ada are waiting for you." He nudged me in the direction of Ada, who was waving me over.

Giving Arthur one last look I pushed my way through the men to Ada. Her hand grasped mine when I was close enough and she pulled me to her.

"Polly's got us a table near the back," she said, making her way through the crowds, dragging me with her. I didn't know why we needed a table when we had the private room. Perhaps they wanted to socialize?

I could see Polly now, talking to one of the women she knew from the police station; I think it was the receptionist. They were close, and it allowed Polly to know most things the police did.

A hand grabbed hold of my shoulder, pulling both me and Ada to a stop. My eyes locked with the familiar brown ones of Robbie West. The last time I had seen him was weeks ago when he'd stabbed Donnie.

"Now, now, O'Connell, we just want to talk," Robbie said as his three friends crowded around us. They were trapping us in. Ricky and Spencer were on either side of Ada, preventing her from moving, while Wesley came up behind me. "I hear you're to marry Shelby? Did he fuck you first?"

Ricky and Spencer laughed at Robbie words, whereas Wesley snorted in my ear, his hands running over my back. It sent a shiver of disgust through me.

"Why does it matter? It's not going to change anything," I said, shifting forward to get away from Wesley's roaming hands. My chest bumped against Robbie as he swooped forward, wrapping his arm around my waist.

"I'm just offended is all. I told you I would be your first, you gypsy whore," he seethed, spit flying from his mouth as he leaned forward trying to place his lips on mine.

I turned my head away and rose my knee, making sure it connected with his balls. Robbie coughed and spluttered as he hunched over, crying out. I felt Wesley behind me then and quickly lifted my arm, sending my elbow into his nose. I spun and watched him crumple to the ground, his hands covered in blood.

"You let her go, now," I ordered to Spencer. While I was fighting, he had grabbed hold of Ada. He looked at Ricky and then down at Robbie and Wesley. His fingers let go of Ada and he took a step back.

A gun in my face had me stepping back, eyes on the barrel. Ricky's hand was shaking as he glared at me.

It dawned on me then that the pub had gone quiet. I glanced around, noting that everyone was watching.

I could see a few of the Blinders making their way to us, guns drawn, but I knew I could handle this. Well, I hope I could handle it. Looking at Ricky, I closed my eyes for a second before grabbing hold of his hand and pushing the gun down. It all happened in a second.

My hand pushing his down and the gun going off.

The deafening sound of the gun rang out and was quickly followed by a scream.

"Elsie!" Tommy yelled, pushing his way through the crowd. His hands cupped my face, bring my eyes up to meet his. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," I whispered, feeling my hands shake as I placed them on his. That had happened all too fast. I was thankful now that Maddox had taught me basic combat skills a few years ago. It was for this reason why he wanted to do it. "Umm, we should probably go, or you know, call a doctor," I added, looking at the bullet wound in Ricky's foot.

"Sort him out," Tommy ordered to two of his men before escorting me out of the Garrison. "You've had a busy day, perhaps it's best to go home."

"We've had a busy couple of days, Tommy. I think it's best we both go home," I replied, linking my hand with his. I was happy that he didn't pull his hand away but instead gave mine a little squeeze.

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**Thank you for reading xx**


	19. Planned and Unplanned Surprises

**Sorry for the wait - I've been really busy with uni work and all that jazz. Busy, busy, busy, but I'm almost finished with it all, so yay.**

**I do hope you all enjoy this chapter - It didn't turn out how I originally thought, but I am pleased with it. Sorry for any mistakes that might be found within, let me know if any really bother you.**

**Thank you for the support you all give me and thank you for the reviews.**

**Lots of love to you all, Comet96 xx**

* * *

"Wake up," Tommy whispered, his fingers brushing against my cheek. I smiled into the pillow as his fingers ran through my hair, tugging on my braid. I shook my head, pulling the blanket higher over my shoulders, snuggling into the warmth that cocooned me.

Tommy shifted on the bed, his arms wrapping under me, shifting me on my back and scooping the blankets away. His lips dropped against my neck, as his hands tugged my shirt down. His teeth nipped at my chest before he placed evenly spaced kisses over my breasts.

I giggled, running my hands through his hair as he pulled back and pressed a soft kiss to my lips. His eyes were bright, but his pupils were blown out. It made my stomach fill with heat. It was then that I noticed he was dressed.

"Are you going somewhere?" I asked. My fingers were playing with the short sides of his hair. After last night and the fight at the pub, Tommy had ushered us back to Watery Lane and into his room. He'd handed me one of his shirts, undressed me and put me to bed before joining me.

"We're going out, Ada found one of your dresses in her room," he said, reaching over and pulling a simple light blue dress with floral embroidery stitched in a darker blue. It had been a gift from my grandmother and it was one of the only dresses she had brought me that wasn't over extravagant and expensive to the look.

I sat up and took the dress from him, also finding that Ada had given me one of her slips and a set of undergarments. I looked up at him as he stood from the bed, straightening his tie and vest.

"Where are we going?" I slipped from the bed, pulling his shirt over my head. I was hesitant to dress in front of him, but we were going to be married in two days and he'd already seen me naked.

I glanced up at him as I slipped my undergarments on to find that he was staring at me, a cigarette in his mouth as he leaned against the wall. I flushed and quickly slid into my slip and threw on my dress, smoothing my hands over it as I flashed my eyes to him. He was smirking.

"It's a surprise," he said, opening the door and nodding his head. Rolling my eyes at him, I sat on the bed and rolled on my stockings, ignoring the way he was shifting on his feet in annoyance.

I smirked at him as I pulled my boots on, tying the laces as slow as possible as I kept our eyes locked. He didn't look away as I took my time; his hand moving his cigarette too and from his mouth. He looked like he was trying not to say something to me, he didn't want to show how he was feeling.

I wish he didn't act like that around me. He didn't have to shut himself off to me like he did to everyone else. He didn't have to protect his emotions from me.

"Come on then," I said, rising from the bed and grabbing my cardigan from the floor as I walked past him.

* * *

As we stepped out of the house, Tommy slipped his hand into mine and I couldn't help the smile that crossed my lips. this was something he wouldn't normally do, and it had me wondering what my surprise was.

"What are you up to?" I asked him, giving his hand a squeeze as he smirked at me. Tommy was acting very strange and I was almost certain he was being playful with me.

"Come on," he said, ignoring me and tugging me down the street. I was slightly surprised as I thought we'd be going out in his car. I followed him in a daze, wondering what he could be surprising me with that was close enough for us to walk to. "Here we go." We came to a stop outside of a house two down from number six.

"What is this?" I asked, confused now that we'd stopped outside what I knew as the Jones' house.

"I bought it off the Jones'," Tommy said, letting go of my hand and unlocking the door. He opened the door and waved me in.

It was a similar layout to the other house, with the entrance hall leading to the kitchen at the back of the house and two open rooms at the front of the house. One was set up as the parlour while the other was a library/office.

"I was thinking about knocking the wall down between this house and the one next door and having the downstairs ripped out and added to the shop?" Tommy announced, following me as I looked in each room, seeing how empty it looked without any furnishings.

"And upstairs?" I asked, lifting my eyes to the stairs, knowing it'll be the same as the other houses. Three bedrooms and a bathroom.

"Same as the two other houses." I nodded, knowing that Tommy wanted to expand the shop, but not thinking he'd by the house next to the two he already had. It made sense though and I didn't mind living here for the time being. "What do you think?"

"You can knock the walls down on the lower level to connect the three houses, but I'm not letting you knock the wall down up there." I gave him a pointed look. "I do love your family, Tommy, but I won't be having the children running around in our private home."

"I can work with that."

I walked into the empty kitchen and looked out into the back garden. It was large, and I could see from here where Tommy had extended back to the two houses next door to make the shop larger.

"Are you going to extend on the back as well?" I asked, leaning against the sink.

"I was thinking about it, and I might do it in a couple of months, but first I want to get this place sorted out." I nodded and turned to face him. "You don't mind not having a kitchen?"

"I'm always cooking at Pol's anyway. What difference is it going to make? It's never just us I'll be cooking for," I muttered, leaning back against the sink as he stepped closer to me.

"I'm thinking about having the parlour as a meeting room of sorts and leaving the office the way it is," he told me, coming closer and resting his hands on my hips. "We'll turn this area into more workspace and when we get the extension on the back we can add a few more offices." I smiled at his enthusiasm for the future. He had this all planned out and I was happy for him. "You don't like it?" he asked suddenly, and I wondered how I had given him that impression.

"No, I really do love the idea, Tommy,"

"But?" he went on as if he knew I was going to give him a reason why I didn't think it was a good plan.

"You've seen how John's boys are, they run in and out of the shop at all hours. I don't think I want to same for our children," I admitted, feeling my cheeks flush at the thought of any future children between us. "I want a safe, comfortable home for our children, not some place where strangers come on to make bets."

Tommy sighed as he reached up and rubbed his fingers over my cheeks. His blue eyes roamed over my face and he gave me a tight smile.

"I want the same thing, El, but to achieve that we have to build our empire," he said, pressing a quick kiss to my lips.

"I understand that Tommy, but you'll get a dowry when we marry. It'll be enough for us to buy another house in town as well. One where we can raise a family but still be close to your business," I muttered, reaching up and taking his hands in mine, giving them a squeeze. "Just thinking about it, please?"

Tommy nodded lowering our hands and giving me a tight smile.

"I've got something else for you as well," he said, leading us back out of the house.

"I feel like you're spoiling me, Thomas," I teased, taking his hand as he helped me climb into the car.

* * *

"What are we doing here?" I asked, looking around at the large paddocks and stables as Tommy drove the car into the parking space by the front of the manor house.

I knew this place. Everyone in the horse business knew this place. Hell, even the King sent his horse here to be trained.

It was probably one of the most redeeming things about Birmingham – The Nightingale Boarding Stables, where the most prodigious stables in the United Kingdom. Papa had bought Gypsy Girl from one of the mares here and I knew she had cost him an arm and a leg.

"I've got a meeting with one of the men that helps with the training, and then a meeting with a jockey," he explained, helping me out of the car and leading me into the large manor. "Your grandfather seems to be handing over some of his business deals to me.

It seemed ridiculous, but I was beyond excited to be here. Papa had taken me once when I was a girl, and I had been mesmerized by the place. I was finding it hard to believe that Tommy had even managed to get a meeting here.

This place only catered to the wealthiest of people. I suppose Papa had something to do with it. I knew Papa. He would never hand of any business with his horses to someone that he didn't trust.

"This isn't my other surprise is it?" I wondered, not minding if it was. "Not that I'd be upset if it was. This is fantastic, Tommy."

"No, this is just a stop on the way." He gave me a smile, his eyes shining brightly as he took me in. "We'll be going back to the estate after this to check up on the dogs and then I'll be taking you out for the evening." I chewed on the inside of my lip to contain my excitement. I couldn't believe that Tommy was doing all of this for me.

"Do you mind if I look around while you have your meeting?" I asked. I had heard that they had some beautiful young foals here and I was keen to look at them.

Papa may be interested in training a new horse.

"I'll be finished within the hour," Tommy muttered, pressing a kiss to my cheek and giving my hand a squeeze. "I'll come find you."

I watched Tommy wander off to the offices before rushing over to one of the stable boys. He was very helpful and led me to a paddock where two foals were with their mothers.

"Thank you," I called to the boy as he rushed off. Leaning against the fence, I climbed up and sat on the top railing, not caring that I was wearing a dress.

Having been raised the way I was at the farm, it didn't bother me about getting my dresses or skirts dirty. I would rather get dirty and be able to get close to the horses than keep a distance.

" _Hey there, darling,_ " I cooed to the young colt as he stumbled his way to me. I could tell he was young, still a foal. " _You're a very strong boy, aren't you?"_  I liked the look of his build. I'd have to ask who his owner was and perhaps barter for him.

"Elsie?" a voice called. I looked over my shoulder, seeing a familiar woman coming towards me. Her long brunette hair was down and flowing over her shoulders and she had a large smile on her face.

"May," I replied, turning on the fence and climbing down to greet her. I brought her into a hug, squeezing her slightly.

It had been a long time since I last saw May Carleton; I think it was a few weeks after her husband died during the war.

"What are you doing here?" she asked, resting her hand on my arm as she looked me over. "Is Alfred looking for a new horse?"

I had grown close to May when I went to visit Papa in London during the war. Both Papa and her Husband, Ian, worked together in the War-Office. Naturally, we had been introduced and I often called upon her home for tea.

"No, he isn't. you'd know if he was." I looked back at the colt, who was now back by his mother. "Papa's moved back to London, I'm sure he'll be asking you to board Gypsy Girl for him and he'll be begging you to train her."

"She doesn't need my training, but I can never say no to Alfred," she teased. Her hair flew around her face as a strong wind washed over us. I was blinded by my curls and quickly brushed my hair from my face. "What is that?" she asked in a rush, grabbing hold of my left hand and bringing it close to her face.

I couldn't help but feel my cheeks flush as she examined the ring on my finger. Half of me felt embarrassed that she knew I was to be married – not because I was ashamed of Tommy, but because of the events that led to it.

"I was going to tell you," I muttered weakly, feeling like I was being scolded. The look May gave me, her eyebrows furrowed and her bright eyes taking in my body. "I was going to call you or send you a letter."

"But not an invite?" There was a bitter tone to her voice and I felt my heart sink.

"It's not that I don't want you there, May," I told her, twisting my fingers so they linked with hers. "It's just a complicated engagement."

"Does he hurt you?" she questioned, her anger evident as she pulled me closer to her. I shook my head quickly.

"Tommy would never lay a finger on me." I didn't like the thought of people thinking of Tommy hurting me. Why did people assume he'd hurt me? "Tommy's not really …" I paused, not knowing how to tell her Tommy wasn't wealthy like us.

People from wealth were meant to marry into wealth. May was a daughter of a wealthy man, and she married a wealthy man and it was expected of me as well.

"Wealthy?" she guessed. I nodded, knowing she must have remembered what I told her about the agreement I had with Papa. "Do you love him?"

"With everything I have," I replied honestly. I knew it was stupid to think about loving someone after knowing them for less than three months, but I couldn't picture my life without Tommy.

It was a silly thing, but I needed him, and I knew he needed me. Polly had even said it.

What did it matter that we were getting married now instead of next year? I knew us getting married would be the only outcome for us.

"And he loves you?"

"I believe he does. He said so, but he finds it hard to show me sometimes." I paused as I thought about Tommy. He tried to keep all his emotions contained, but I could almost always see them when I saw his eyes. "He saw a lot in France and it still haunts him, but I can see it in his eyes. Tommy's not a man to show emotions, but he never tried to hide them from me."

"Then he must love you," May said, a sad smile on her face. "Ian couldn't hide his feelings from me and he never did because he loved me."

"I would have invited you May, but everything's happened so fast, we're only keeping it to the family." I gave her a look and laughed. "With my family, there's going to be far too many guests."

"When's the date?" There was a curious tone to her voice and I saw her eyes rest on my stomach. I fought the urge to rest my hand over my womb. A baby could be nesting in there and I wouldn't know until next week.

"Two days?" It was more of a question than a statement.

"Are you?"

"What would you say if I was?" I asked, knowing what she was getting at.

"I would never judge you, Elsie. You're like a sister to me and I couldn't think about shunning you because you ended up in the family way." She brought me into a hug, her hands running through my hair. "At least he's doing the right thing and marrying you."

I pulled out of her embrace and gave her a stern look. I didn't want May thinking the worst of Tommy.

"He would marry even if I wasn't carrying his child. We're not even sure if I am with child. He still wants to marry me, May."

"I believe you," she said, but I felt like I had to make a point about Tommy.

"Tommy comes from a gypsy family as well, he knows the rules. When we agreed to sleep together, we were agreeing to a union that couldn't be broken. He asked me if I wanted to stop, but I didn't. I was the one that agreed to it." I could feel the heat burning in my cheeks and felt frustrated that I was letting my annoyance at on May. She had done nothing wrong.

"I'm sorry," May apologized, her hand brushing against my cheek.

"No, I should be the one apologizing." I shook my head and closed my eyes before opening them and looking at her. "People always seem to be quick to judge Tommy. My Grandmother doesn't even like him; she's not coming to the wedding."

"It seems to me that this Tommy means a lot to you. I hope you mean the same to him." With a distant look in her eye, May cupped my cheek and pressed a kiss to my forehead. "Once you marry, write to me when you find out if you're with child. I'd like for you to come visit for a weekend."

"I start at the school next week, so it'll have to be a short visit," I said, bring her into another hug.

"I need to be off, my father is waiting in the car," she laughed as if she had just remembered her father.

"Give him my wishes," I said, following her back to the manor, where I would go find Tommy.

May waved and rushed to her father's car, giving me a wave as they drove off. I couldn't help but feel saddened at her departure. It had been nice to see her again, but I could see how broken she was after the death of Ian.

"Who was that?" Tommy asked, coming up behind me, his hand resting on my back.

"The widow of an Officer Papa worked within the War Office. She breeds and trains horses," I told him, knowing he'd no doubt look into her if I didn't tell him. "I often visited her when I went to London during the war. we have much in common."

"You were pleased to see her," he pointed out, his hand running down my face and tucking my hair behind my ear.

"She was very kind to me and treats me like a sister. I'm not as close to her as I am to Ada, but I still care for May and she is like family," I explained. Tommy had the right to know about the people in my life, he was to be my husband and he would be interacting with them.

"Did you ask her to the wedding?"

"She knows about it, but I told her it was a family event." Tommy nodded as he led us back to the car, opening my door for me. "She's invited me to visit after the wedding."

"And you'll go to see her?" He glanced at me as he pulled away from the manor, his eyes shifting between the road and me.

"I might, it has been a long time since I saw her."

"I'm due to go to London in a few weeks, your Grandfather has a meeting with Graves and has asked me to join." I felt my stomach churn at the thought of Graves. "We'll drive down on Friday after you finish at the school and come back Sunday afternoon."

"I like that, Tommy," I whispered, reaching over and giving his hand a squeeze. He took my hand in his and pressed his lips to my knuckles. "Are we going to my other surprise now?" I asked, giving him a bright smile as I slid closer to him.

"Aye, I believe we are."

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**Thank you for reading xx**

**What do you think of May being included in this chapter?**

**In my notes/plot points for this story, May plays a very important part of Elsie's life in season two and I wanted there to be a realtionship already built between them before that point.**

**Tell me what you think xx**


	20. Taking That Step Down the Aisle

**I can't remember how long it's been since the last update, but I've managed to finish this chapter and I do hope you all like it.**

**I'm posting just before I go to bed, so if you find any mistakes, I do apologize. I have checked but I'm tired and I might have missed some.**

**Please let me know what you think and thank you for all your support xx**

**Comet96 xx**

* * *

"Oh, look at my boys," I cooed, dropping to my knees and letting the two puppies climb over me. "Have you missed me?"

"We've been gone for a day," Tommy said as Daisy took his coat.

"Lord Cromwell has returned, Mr Shelby," she told him, nodding towards Papa's parlour. "He's waiting for you. Shall I bring in lunch?"

"Lunch will be great, Daisy," I said, rising with Winston and Hunter in my arms. "We'll eat in the parlour, you know Papa prefers that." Daisy walked off and I lead Tommy into Papa's parlour.

"There you are, Elsie, I was wonder where you got off to," Papa said as we entered. He was surprised to see the two puppies in my arms but smiled as I placed them both on his sofa. "Now what do we have here?"

"Winston and Hunter," I exclaimed, pointing at each dig as I named him. "Tommy got me Hunter for Christmas, but Winston was the runt of the litter and no one wanted him. We bought him as well."

"An excellent choice in a dog, Beagles are known to work well with horses," Papa said. I nodded, remembering the Beagle Papa had when I was younger. He'd been used for hunting along with a few other breeds of dogs. "Right, on to more important matters." He looked at Tommy then before glancing back at me. "I thought you were off on out tonight?"

"We are, Alfred, but I thought Elsie might like to see you first," Tommy said, leaning against the sofa as he looked to me. "Plus, Daisy needs to help her get ready."

"Ready? Where are we going?" I asked. I thought he'd already given me all my surprises. I thought coming back here to see Papa was a surprise.

"If you hurry and get dressed I'll be able to show you," Tommy teased, taking my hand and helping me from the sofa. Daisy was waiting by the door, a tray of food in her hands for Papa. Tommy and I must not be staying for lunch, seeing as there was only one plate.

"Come along, Elsie," Daisy said as she set Papa's plate on the side table. "We haven't got much time."

"Daisy," I whispered as we left the room, "do you know where Tommy's taking me?"

"I do." I felt excited at her answer. "I won't tell you though," she added. I frowned as I followed her up the stairs. Why did she get to know but I had to wait?

"Why not?"

"Because it'll ruin the surprise." She grinned, taking my hand as she pulled me into my room, shutting the door behind us.

Hanging on the wardrobe was a beautiful dark blue dress, that I hadn't seen before. Sitting under the dress was a brand-new pair of heels, a brilliant bright red. I turned to Daisy, my mouth hanging open as she rushed into the room and took the dress off the hanger.

"Did Tommy buy this?" I asked, feeling flustered that he would buy me new things for a surprise. Where were we going?

"He did, now hurry up and get out of that dress."

* * *

I stared at my shoes as Tommy drove us to my surprise. He hadn't blindfolded me, so I suppose I was lucky, but I didn't watch where he was taking us. Part of me didn't want to know until we got there.

My red shoes were so bright, I was surprised Tommy wanted me wearing them. Red was a colour associated with the whores. We'd both made it clear that I wasn't a whore, yet here I was wearing their colour.

"What's wrong?" Tommy asked as he pulled the car to a stop. I glanced at him and away from my shoes, feeling my cheeks heat at my thoughts. Had he known what I was thinking?

"Do you think I'm a whore?" I said, feeling courageous enough to ask.

Tommy's eyes grew wide at my words and he glanced around in surprise. I felt proud that he'd managed to let his emotions slip. I did not want to be marrying a man that kept everything from me.

While I adored Tommy, I really hated how intense and serious he could be. I didn't hate it. It's what made him, him, but I didn't particularly like it. Not when he managed to hide most things from me.

I felt like I was an open book compared to him.

"Why do you ask?"

I sighed as I looked at him, and slowly lifted my left leg until my foot was dangling in the air. My shoes swung dangerously from my toes before I dropped my leg back down, slipping the heel on comfortable.

"You gave me bright red shoes," I said, hoping it was enough for him to understand my question.

"I like red on you," he replied, lighting the cigarette that hung from his lips. Had he ever seen me in red before?

"And it's not because you think I'm a whore?" I muttered, feeling slightly silly now for my thoughts.

"If I thought you were a whore, would I bring you here?" At his words, Tommy climbed out of the car, ran around the front and opened my door.

I hadn't realized we had reached our destination. I thought he'd stopped just to talk to me. I took his hand and slipped out of the car, finally allowing myself to take in the view.

My jaw dropped slightly as I took in the large building in front of us. I glanced at Tommy quickly, trying to see if he was joking, but from the slight smirk on his face, I knew he was being serious.

"But you don't like the theatre," I said weakly, knowing that he didn't like the singing or the orchestra.

Ada had mentioned it a couple of years ago when I had taken her and Polly to one. She had said that none of the Shelby boys appreciated the theatre and that they'd never be seen going.

"You enjoy it though." It was sweet of him, but he really didn't need to do it.

"Tommy, you didn't need to do this," I whispered as I took his cigarette from him. Leaning up, I placed a kiss on his lips to show my appreciation. "Perhaps I should show you my gratitude later?"

Tommy coughed at my words, pulling back slightly to look me over. His tongue slipped out and licked his lower lip causing my stomach to flip. Why did he always seem to draw attention to his lips? I wonder if he did that when he was conducting business. Draw attention to his lips and distract whomever he was dealing with. It would work with me. I'd sign anything over to him.

"You can leave the heels on," he grunted out, his hand slipping down my back and resting lightly on the top of my bum.

I smiled up at him as I linked my fingers with his, tugging his hand away from my bum. Biting my bottom lip, I let my eyes roam over his body before locking his eyes. They were darker than normal, and I liked how he looked at me lustfully.

"I think we can call it a deal, Mr Shelby," I teased pulling him into the theatre.

* * *

The sun filtered through Tommy's window, cutting my sleep short as it woke me. Tommy was asleep next to me, his arm wrapped around my waist and his head tucked into my neck.

Last night had been amazing. The theatre production had been fascinating, and I enjoyed every minute of it. Tommy had tried his best to look interested, but I could tell he didn't enjoy it as much as I did.

The balcony seats we had were shared with another couple; an older man and his young wife. Tommy spent the evening talking to the man and during the second half, Evelyn, the man's wife, had swapped seats with him.

While the men talked about whatever it was they spoke about, I enjoyed the play with Evelyn, happy that both Tommy and I found some form of entertainment.

"What are you thinking about?" Tommy asked, his fingers brushing the hair from my face.

"Last night," I said, turning to face him. There was a smirk on his lips and I knew what he was thinking. "Not that," I groaned, hitting him as I pulled away and sat up. I held the sheets to my chest as I took in his room.

Our clothes were scattered over the floor and the curtains were left open. There were two cups of tea on the side table, no doubt cold. I wonder if it was Polly that had brought them in. I assumed she knew I was here as well considering the two cups. Had she heard us coming home last night?

"Good morning," Ada exclaimed, banging the door open as she flounced into the room, one of her dresses and a clean set of undergarments in her hands. She ignored Tommy as he grumbled and grabbed my dressing gown that had been resting on the chair and placing the clean clothes down. "Come on, we've got things to do."

"What things?" I asked as I rose from the bed and pulled on the gown. I wasn't bothered about Ada seeing me naked. I had often bathed with my female cousins at the farm; it was the way things were done and had been like that since I was a child.

"Wedding planning." Her words were directed at me, but she was staring at Tommy as he lounged in bed, lighting a cigarette. "We've got to fit your wedding dress and get everything set up for tomorrow."

"What about the banns, Ada?" Tommy asked, sitting up as he waited for her reply. He was careful that the sheets didn't move when he sat up. I don't think Ada would want to see that.

"Polly managed to get that sorted," she said. We all knew how Polly could convince the priest with short notice. "I'll be waiting for you outside," Ada said to me, before leaving us in the room.

"How do you feel about tomorrow?" I said as I slipped on the undergarments Ada left. Tommy tilted his head to the side at my question. "You haven't said anything about it being Gypsy-led."

I knew it wouldn't bother him much due to his background, but I wanted to know if he didn't like the idea of having a Gypsy wedding. To me, having a Gypsy wedding was more important than getting married in a church.

There were certain things that happened during a Gypsy wedding that meant more to me than swearing an oath to the Lord. It was hard to explain unless you knew, and I knew Tommy understood that.

"Elsie," he started, rising from the bed and slipping on his trousers. He reached out to me and I took his hand, letting him pull me into him. "I want what you want and if that means binding to myself to you in the Gypsy ways then that's what I'll do."

"You're sure?" I asked, leaning back to lock my eyes with his. "I don't want to start this marriage by being selfish. If you don't want this, Tommy, you tell me."

"Are you trying to get rid of me?" he asked, his fingers slipping into my hair as his lips met mine. My laugh was smothered by his lips and I let my arms wrap around his neck, pulling him closer.

"You caught on," I whispered, pulling my lips from his. Tommy sighed as he brushed his nose against mine, his lips planting small kisses on mine as his hands run down my back. It was moments like these I cherished.

"Go on," he said, pressing a kiss to my hairline and letting me go. "Ada's probably waiting outside."

* * *

I don't know how many people get to experience that moment when you glance at yourself in the mirror and question how things came to be. But for me, when I looked in the mirror and saw my wedding dress, I felt time freeze around me.

Six months ago, I would have never assumed that I would be here now getting married. I would have never thought I'd be marrying a man like Thomas Shelby. I thought I'd be married off to one of the Lee boys and moving around in their caravan, raising children left, right, and centre.

I was happy.

Looking at myself in my white dress, I couldn't help but smile.

Tomorrow I'd be married to Tommy and we'd be taking a massive step into our future. I knew I loved him and he loved me, but that wasn't the thing that mattered to me. Him being happy was important as well, and him agreeing and being happy with us having a Gypsy-led wedding was flattering.

Not only was he doing it because it was part of his heritage, but also because it was what I wanted.

"Are you okay?" Ada asked, her concerned face stepping in front of my reflection. It was then that I realized I had been crying.

"I'm fine, I'm just excited for tomorrow," I told her and Polly as the older woman came to my side, taking my hand in hers.

"It'll be okay love," Polly assured me, her thumb rubbing the back of my palm.

I nodded as she stepped away and walked over to the window where my Aunt Tillie stood. Tillie was rocking Paddy's crib, soothing the boy as he woke from his sleep.

I wonder how Donnie would cope caring for Paddy on his own? He hardly had Paddy during the night; the baby was either with me or Mah-mee. It was going to be a shock for Donnie when he had to do everything for himself again. Not that Donnie was a bad father, he just found it hard with Eva gone.

I looked back at my reflection and slowly rested my hand on my stomach. Would I be large with child in six months? Would everyone believe that we conceived our child on our wedding night or would they assume we married because Tommy got me pregnant?

"You're thinking too much," Ada said, taking my hand from my stomach. She went behind me and started unbuttoning the dress, helping me take it off.

"Do you think so?" I wondered, trying to think about something other than the possible baby growing inside me.

"Elsie, I know you." Ada settled her hands on my shoulders and gave a slight squeeze. "You overthink things until it drives you mad. Look," she said, turning me to face her, "you don't want to start your marriage overthinking things. You want to be relaxed and calm, so you can have a fun time before you have little brats running about the place."

"Ada! That's your niece or nephew you're talking about," I teased, slapping her arm as I walked away from her, slipping on my robe as I joined Polly and Tillie. "Is everything organized for tomorrow?"

"The boys are just finishing off the barn, but we've got everything sorted from the drive through the fields and to the barn," Tillie said, the excitement clear in her voice. She sounded like a child with how excited she was.

"And where will the ceremony be held?"

"In the paddock opposite the barn," Polly stated a small smile on her face.

"Do we have flower girls?" I could picture the younger cousins walking to the paddock, throwing flowers on the floor.

"Cleo, Dries, Adria, Auiana, and Lila-Grace," Tillie announced, and I smiled at the thought of Lila-Grace being my flower girl. She already had Tommy wrapped around her finger, and now that she was our flower girl she wouldn't leave him alone. "Lila won't stop talking about Tommy, I think she's in love with him."

"Aye, she was upset when we told her he was marrying you," Polly added, laughing with Tillie as they thought about the four-year-old.

"She has him wrapped around her finger," I told them, remembering the way he was with her at the farm. "She had him smiling."

"And we all know how hard it is to get Tommy to smile," Ada said, joining us.

"Aye, that's true. Have you thought about bridesmaids?" Polly inquired, lighting her cigarette as she plopped down on my bed.

"Just Ada, Daisy and you, Pol," I said, giving her a smile.

"Me, love? Are you sure?" she asked, the shock evident on her face as she looked unsure.

"Pol, you're like a mother to me. The last four years you've been there and treated me like your own. If Papa wasn't here, I'd probably ask you to walk me down the aisle and hand me over to Tommy." I paused, sniffling back my tears. I didn't want to keep crying at every thought I had. "I want you there tomorrow as my bridesmaid, but also in the role of my mother."

"I'd be honoured, love," she said, rising from the bed and taking me in her arms. Even though she lost both her children, Polly hadn't lost her maternal side. She loved and cared for her nephews' and Ada as if they were her own and I felt privileged to be included in that fold. "Now stop with the tears, we've got a lot of work to do."

* * *

_Thump, thump. Thump, thump. Thump, thump._

My heart was pounding hard in my chest, causing me to panic as I waited for Ada to return.

What was taking her so long? Where was Papa? Was that Lila crying? Who had Paddy? Why were the dogs going crazy? Was that a fight kicking off outside?

"Jesus, love, calm down," Arthur hissed, coming through the farmhouse door, taking my attention from all the chaos going on outside.

"Arthur! Is Tommy here? What's going on outside?" I fired at him, rushing over and trying to get a glimpse outside. Arthur quickly shut the door, grabbing hold of me as I tried to march past him. "Arthur!"

"Calm down, Ellie, Tommy's just making it clear that you're his," Arthur said pushing me into the kitchen.

"Is he fighting? He better not be, it's our fucking wedding!"

"Christ, Tom's gonna blow 'is head when he sees you." Arthur dropped into a chair, lighting a cigarette and pulling a bottle of whiskey towards him.

"What's that supposed to mean?" I snapped, crossing my arms as I glared at him. I really didn't have the energy to deal with Arthur today. It was only eleven in the morning and everything was already turning to shit.

Lila had fallen and ruined her dress, so she'd been given a new one, which was now a different colour to the other flower girls' dresses. She's been kept out of the way, so she couldn't ruin another dress.

Polly had been rushing around all morning and had broken her heels and Ada's hair wasn't staying in her braids. They'd both been screaming and shouting while trying to sort out their problems.

The Lee's had turned up for the wedding, bringing booze and arguments and Maddox and Donnie had been out there all morning trying to send them on their way before Tommy turned up. It hadn't ended well between Tommy and Doug last time and I didn't need any more fights breaking out – looked like that hadn't gone to plan.

Papa's car broke down, so he turned up half an hour late with Daisy, causing me more panic. To make things worse, my grandmother had written a letter for me to read.

I hadn't bothered with the letter. I knew what it would say, and I didn't care for her words. She'd no doubt be telling me that if I married Tommy she'd never speak to me again.

"You look beautiful is all," Arthur said, looking uncomfortable as I burst into tears at his words. "What did I do?"

"Nothing, Arthur," I whispered, leaning down and pressing a kiss to his cheek. "That was very sweet of you."

"Aye, it was nothing, love." He grabbed the bottle of whiskey and took a few gulps before standing up and stubbing out his cigarette. "How about we wipe those tears, huh? Polly sent me in here cause it's time."

"It's time?" I asked, grabbing the hankie he handed me and wiped my tears. "It's time, time? Oh, Christ. I don't think I'm ready, Arthur." I was panicking now. My heart beating faster than before. What if I got out there and Tommy left? What if he took one look at all this chaos and decided he didn't want it?

"Ellie, sweetheart, you need to breathe," Arthur instructed, placing his hand on my shoulder and bending down so his face was level with mine. "Tommy's out there waiting for you and he's freaking out just as much as you are."

"Really?"

"Of course, love, why do you think he punched John for?"

"He punched John?" I asked, not able to keep myself from giggling. I didn't know what John had done, but he must have really pissed Tommy off. "Okay, I think I'm ready now."

"Yeah? Well, okay. Your grandfather's waiting for you and your bridesmaids and flower girls are chomping at the bit to get this wedding over with."

"Can't handle a wedding, Arthur?" I teased, taking his hand as he walked me to the door. He opened the door and I saw that he was telling the truth. Papa and the girls were waiting outside. Ada had a firm grip on Lila's hand, preventing the little girl from running off and Daisy was sorting out the basket of petals for the other four.

"Nah, I love a good wedding. I just prefer the after party," he said as he handed me over to Papa, giving him a clap on the shoulder. "Looking good, Ada."

"Sod off, Arthur," Ada hissed, baring her teeth at him.

Arthur strolled off with a laugh leaving us to ready for the ceremony. My hands were growing slick as I waited for Polly to sort out the girls. She glanced over at me, her eyes taking in my dress, hair, and face, before giving a satisfied nod.

"Right, come along girls," she said, leading them over to the flowers scattered on the floor as our makeshift aisle.

Cleo, Dries, Adria, and Auiana followed her their hands in their baskets ready to throw their petals once they reached the aisle. Daisy gave me a small wave before turning to Ada and assisting her with guiding Lila down the aisle.

I turned to Papa then, my hand resting on his arm and felt the excitement bubble in my stomach. He was smiling down at me, his blue eyes sparkling with happiness as he gripped my hand tightly.

"All right then, Elsie girl, let's hand you over to Tommy," Papa said, pressing a kiss to my head as he took the same steps the girls had towards the aisle.

* * *

**Thank you for reading xx**

**Guys! It's almost the wedding! How excited are you? xx**


	21. Sorry About the Rain, Mrs Shelby

**So sorry that it's taken me so long to update, but I had loads of assessments due in. I know that seems like an excuse to use, but it'll be the last time I will ever be using the assessments due in excuse as I've officially finished with all my assessments at uni and am just waiting for my results. Wow. I've finished Uni!**

**That means I have more time to write, but I will be starting a job in two weeks so I'll be busy working, haha, you lose some and you win some.**

**I do hope you all enjoy this chapter - it is after all the wedding. I'm not sure if I like the ending, but now that the wedding's out of the way, we can finally start working towards the whole plan with Graves etc and it'll eventually lead to the TV show (though I am certain that while my story will follow the show, there will be large differnces between the show and my work as Elsie is my character and she will be changing things that happen during the show, but I want you all to know that I will be following the main plot of the show.)**

**Please enjoy the chapter and I'm once again sorry for the late update.**

**Comet96 xx**

* * *

My fingers were shaking as Papa led me down the aisle to Tommy. My grip on his arm tightened as we stepped over the flowers on the ground. I was so scared I was going to fall. Would that be considered bad luck? Tripping on my wedding day?

Tommy was stood at the end of the aisle, his back to me as was the tradition. Mah-mee stood at the altar, facing me, a large smile on her face as she watched me close in on them. As the matriarch of the family, it was her duty to marry us.

Within seconds, even though it felt like hours, I reached Tommy's side and he turned slightly to look at me, a smirk on his lips. As I joined him, he lifted his right hand and I quickly placed my left hand in his. Papa gave my shoulder a squeeze before leaving us and joining Polly and Ada.

"Let's start with tradition," Mah-mee said, stepping to us, a knife in her hand. She took my left hand in hers and slit a small cut in my palm, making sure it bled. She repeated the same thing on Tommy's right hand. "Time for the binding."

Tommy held his hand out, palm up and I slid my left hand onto his, our fingers linking. Mah-mee pulled a long green sash from her dress and wrapped it around our hands, binding us together.

"Do you, Thomas Shelby, take Elsie O'Connell to be your wife, to be her constant friend, her partner in life, and her true love? To love her without reservation, to honour, and respect her, to protect her from harm, to comfort her in times of distress, and to grow with her in mind and spirit?"

"I do," Tommy said without hesitation. There was a strong tone of confidence in his voice. He almost sounded smug.

"Do you, Elsie O'Connell, take Thomas Shelby to be your husband, to be his constant friend, his partner in life, and his true love? To love him without reservation, to honour and respect him, to protect him from harm, to comfort him in times of distress, and to grow with him in mind and spirit?"

"I do," I said, flicking my eyes to Tommy as he squeezed my hand at my words. Did he think I wouldn't go through with it? Did he think I'd leave him after everything we'd been through?

"If you'll now kneel together," Mah-mee ordered, lowering her hand and pointing to the plush cushions at her feet. We moved at her words, kneeling with our heads bent. I'd been to enough weddings to know how this went and it seemed Tommy knew as well. "Now you are bound one to the other, with a tie not easy to break. Take the time of binding, before the final vows are made, to learn what you need to know - to grow in wisdom and love. That your marriage will be strong, that your love will last, in this life and beyond." Silence filled the yard as everyone bent their heads in respect for this moment.

Well, I assumed they were bending their heads. It was respectful to also wish the best for the couple during this time.

"I will ask now, as is the tradition if there is anyone that wishes for the ceremony to end here before we go on to exchange the rings and give our blessings?" I swear to God if anyone said anything I'd kill them. "Seeing as no one has spoken out, we'll move on to the exchanging of the rings. You both know the words, we'll start with Tommy."

With a wave of her hand and a slight tug of the sash, our hands become unbound and we turned to face each other, keeping our hands joined. Finn stepped up to us then, two silver rings on the cushion in his hands. Tommy took the smaller one, playing with it in his long fingers as he glanced up at me.

"I take you in my heart, at the rising of the moon, and the setting of the stars. To love and to honour, through all that may come. Through all our lives together, in all our lives, may we be reborn, that we may meet and know, and love again, and remember." Tommy slipped the ring on my finger his thumb rubbing on the back of my hand.

With a quick glance at Finn, I took Tommy's ring and slid it on his finger repeating his words. "I take you in my heart, at the rising of the moon, and the setting of the stars. To love and to honour, through all that may come. Through all our lives together, in all our lives, may we be reborn, that we may meet and know, and love again, and remember."

I gave him a soft smile as Finn walked away and Mah-mee settled her hand over our joined ones. She took our hands apart, wiping them with a damp cloth before dropping the cloth and taking both hands in hers. She was holding my hand in her left and Tommy's in her right. With a slight tug, we both rose, leaned forward and placed a kiss on her cheek.

"It's time for your last words," she said, taking a silver cup from Aunt Tillie and placing it between our hands, making sure we were both holding onto it. "As is custom, the male starts."

"I pledge my love to you, and everything that I own. I promise you the first bite of my meat and the first sip from my cup. I pledge that your name will always be the name I cry aloud in the dead of night. I promise to honor you above all others. Our love is never-ending, and we will remain, forevermore, equals in our marriage. This is my wedding vow to you." After his vow, Tommy lifted the cup and helped guide it to my lips. With our hands still joined around the cup, I took a sip of the wine, keeping my eyes locked with Tommy's.

"I pledge my love to you, and everything that I own. I promise you the first bite of my meat and the first sip from my cup. I pledge that your name will always be the name I cry aloud in the dead of night. I promise to honor you above all others. Our love is never-ending, and we will remain, forevermore, equals in our marriage. This is my wedding vow to you," I repeated, helping to guide the cup to his lips. I flushed when he kept his eyes locked on mine. Is that how I looked in his eyes?

"And as the morning light watches over you on your blessed day, I welcome the spirits to give their blessing on this union," Mah-mee said taking the cup from our hands and replacing it with a jeweled silver dish. "May God go with you and bless you, may you see your children`s children, may you be poor in misfortune and rich in blessings, may you know nothing but happiness from this day forward." As Mah-mee called out the traditional wedding blessing, members of the family came up to us and dropped a silver coin into the dish we held. It was a sign of respect, a token of love, and a hope for a future. The money from the dish always went to the first-born child. A blessing on that child granted at the wedding.

"May joy and peace surround you both, may contentment latch on your door, and happiness be with you now, and may God bless you evermore. May you live your life with trust, and nurture lifelong affection, may your lifelong dreams come true for you, and move ever that direction." The family joined Mah-mee in the second verse, and from the corner of my eye, I could see the large smiles on their faces. It seemed the family was happy with this marriage.

"May the road rise to meet you, may the wind be always at your back, may the sun shine warm upon your face, and the rains fall soft upon your fields. May the light of friendship guide your paths together, may the laughter of children grace the halls of your home. May the joy of living for each other trip a smile from your lips, a twinkle from your eye. And when eternity beckons, at the end of the life heaped high with love, may the good Lord embrace you with the arms that have nurtured you the whole length of your joy-filled days. May the gracious God hold you both in the palm of His hands. And, today, may the Spirit of Love find a dwelling place in your hearts." I smiled at Tommy as we both finished the last verse with Mah-mee and the family.

It was a long ceremony, but it was traditional to be bond to someone through not only vows but also blood. It was very important in our family to share something so sacred with the one you were to marry.

Mah-mee took the dish from us and swapped it with a smaller dish, this one containing water blessed by all the mothers in the family. Mah-mee dipped her thumb in the dish and swiped her thumb down Tommy's forehead before repeating the process with me.

"May you be blessed with many children and be content with the love you've been shown today." Stepping away from us, Mah-mee rose her hands into the air and bowed to us. "Now you seal the marriage with a kiss, one not only blessed by God but by family and friends."

Tommy pulled me to him, his lips brushing mine lightly before he sucked my bottom lip between his. As I wrapped my arms around his neck, drops of rain hit us, causing me to pull away. I laughed as I lifted my face to the sky, letting the rain drip onto my face.

Tommy chuckled with me before grabbing my face gently in his hands until we were kissing again. For it to rain on one's wedding day, they would be blessed forever by the spirits. It seemed the spirits were smiling down on us.

"Come on," Tommy said, pulling away from me, but taking my hand in his. "Let's go to the barn."

* * *

Most of the family were waiting in the barn when we arrived. It was packed, but we made do with the space we had. We knew there could be the possibility of rain tonight and it was why we'd put up large tents on either side of the barn through the side doors.

The two side doors on the barn had been pulled open and the tents showed open spaces on each side. On the left, the tent held the food, and many tables for the family and on the right, were also tables spaced around the tent. The barn was left bare, with a small stage set up for the music – most of my cousins were willing to play throughout the night, taking turns to provide music.

The barn had been lit with candles in jars to prevent any fires and they made me think of little fairies trapped in a jar. The place looked beautiful and I knew how much effort everyone put into making this day perfect.

"Aye, aye," Arthur called out as Tommy pulled me into the barn. Arthur already had a drink in his hand. "Oi, let's all raise a glass to Tommy and Elsie!"

"Tommy and Elsie!" the family called raising their glasses and taking a drink. I smiled, sharing a look with Tommy before Ada rushed over, pulling me away from Tommy.

"You look so beautiful," she gushed, running her hands up my arms as she brought me into a hug. "I'm so happy you're my sister."

"I'm happy you're my sister too, Ada," I assured her, squeezing my arms around her. Looking over her shoulder I watched as John and Arthur clapped Tommy on the back, their faces already red from their drinks.

"Polly's been wanting to speak to you, but she didn't want to say anything earlier in case she scared you," Ada said pulling out of our hug.

What would Polly have to say to me that would scare me? Did she change her mind and decide I wasn't good enough for Tommy? No, she would have said something during the binding, surely?

Stepping away from Ada, I glanced around the barn, smiling at those that congratulated me as I tried to find Polly. I spotted her with John's boys, Matthew and William were laughing at something, their heads bent close together and I had a feeling they were planning something.

Michael was holding onto Jacob's hand, leaning down to whisper something in the young boy's ear. It looked like Jacob was about to cry and I wondered if Polly had told them off.

Making my way over to them, Polly caught my eye before I was halfway to them. She said something to Michael before leaving them and meeting me halfway. The smile she gave me made me relax. She wouldn't be giving me such a bright, happy smile if she was about to tell me she changed her mind about me joining her family. Well, actually, I'm sure that's something Polly would do.

"I'm so proud of you," she said, taking my left hand in hers, running over the cut on my palm. It stung but I was happy with the pain.

"Ada said you wanted to speak to me earlier," I muttered wanting to know what it was she wanted to say to me.

"I just wanted to tell you that no matter what happened I'd always see you as my daughter," she said, running her hand over my cheek as she leaned closer and pressed a kiss to my forehead. "You were already part of this family before you married Tommy."

"That means a lot to me, Polly," I whispered, wrapping my arms around her as I felt myself tear up.

"Aye now go on," she said, pulling out of my hug, her hands resting on my shoulders, "your husbands waiting for you."

Glancing over my shoulder I saw that Tommy was waiting for me a couple of feet away. He gave me a soft smile as my eyes locked with his and I felt my stomach flutter. Part of me couldn't believe that he was now my husband.

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**Thank you for reading xx**


	22. Setting Things into Motion

**I managed to squeeze this chapter out - I have only just finished it and I feel like the last section is a bit naff.**

**Now that they're married to whole plan/plot with Graves is about to start unfolding so it'll be a little bit more interesting. While Tommy will be trying to keep Elsie out of danger, she'll also be the comfort he needs which will end up putting her in dangers view anyway - I have no idea if this makes sense.**

**I hope you at least enjoy this chapter xx thanks for sticking with me xx Comet96**

* * *

"Can I have this dance?"

I looked away from Ada, a large smile on my face as I looked at her brother. The music in the barn had picked up to a fast song and most of my family were dancing and funnily enough drunk.

"I would love to say yes, but you're going to have to ask my husband," I told Arthur, turning to look at Tommy as he slouched back in his chair, drinking and talking with John.

Arthur turned to Tommy, bowing at the waist, his beer sloshing out of his cup as he chuckled. He was drunk, but it was good to see him so happy. Every other time I'd seen Arthur drunk he tended to get violent but today he seemed happy.

"Dearest brother, may I please take your wife for a spin around the dance floor?" he asked, his cheeks red as he placed his beer on the table. Tommy sighed as if he was about to tell Arthur to bugger off but instead, he waved his hand a smile on his face. "Come on then sweet sister."

Arthur helped me from my seat and we stumbled through a group of my cousins that were having a drinking contest. Arthur spun me around when we reached the others dancing, one hand linking with mine and the other resting on my waist.

His moves were slightly wobbly, but it didn't take away from any of the fun we were having. The music changed into a classic fiddle number which consisted of the woman dancing a set before the men joined in, so I let go of Arthur and danced with a few of my cousins and aunts.

I had my hand joined with my cousin Unity's, held high by our heads as we circled each other, our cousins doing the same around us. On our second round circling, we started to skip, adding a flick with our left foot out to the side.

The music picked up and we weaved in and out of each other, swapping hands with each other as we spun and skipped around in a large circle. Flutes and drums were added into the mix of the fiddles which indicated that the men would be joining in with the dance.

I spun twice on my heels expecting to end up in Arthur's arms but was surprised when I bumped into Tommy, a smile on his face.

I wasn't expecting him to join in, but I didn't let it faze me as I took his hands in mine and spun with the other in the circle. Tommy seemed to know the dance well and it made me wonder if he had done this as a child when his mother was still alive.

Four sharp notes told us that the dance was about to come to an end and Tommy slid his hands down my arms and rested them on my hips, lifting me in the air as he spun around and set me back down on my feet.

As the song ended I rested against Tommy's chest, my arms looping around his neck as I pressed a kiss to the skin showing there. I let out a laugh as Tommy pulled me closer to him, spinning me around again as he moved us away from my family and over to Papa where he stood talking to Polly.

"You look like you're having fun, my dear," he said in greeting, pressing a kiss to my head. I smiled brightly at him, linking my fingers with Tommy's as Polly handed us drinks.

"I am, Papa. I do hope you are enjoying yourself as well," I added not liking the thought of him not enjoying himself at my wedding.

"Of course, my dear, of course." He shared a look with Polly and it had me wondering what they were talking about before we joined them. "Don't let us stop you from having fun, please enjoy the night."

Tommy seemed to believe it was enough of an excuse to leave and with a nod and my grandfather and his aunt, he dragged me away out of the barn and into the cold night.

It had stopped raining a while ago and there were a few people dotted about the place, most of the family members taking the young children back but there were a few men from the Peaky Blinders coming in and out of the barn bringing in more beer when it needed refilling.

"What are we doing out here?" I asked as Tommy took me over to Aden and Wen's paddock. The two horses had been inseparable since they arrived and wouldn't leave each other and put up a fuss when we tried to separate them.

"I need to talk to you," he replied pulling out a cigarette as he leaned against the fence.

"Couldn't you have done that inside?"

"I know you don't want me talking about it now, El, but things are about to get dangerous," Tommy said, his left hand coming to rest on my lower back in a comforting stroke.

"What do you mean?" I asked, turning to face him, his hand sliding to rest on my hip.

"Things with Graves are about to kick off. We're bringing the plan forward which means they'll be more heat on us for a couple of weeks, which means I need you to be careful," he said, caressing my cheek and pressing a light kiss to my lips.

"You know I'll be careful, I won't do anything to mess this up again," I said remembering what had gotten us into this mess in the first place. Not that I'd call marrying Tommy a mess. "I start teaching at the school on Monday, with John's boys there with Finn it means I can keep an eye on them as well."

"Aye, that's good." Tommy nodded his eyes roaming over the horses before he turned to face me, lifting his hands to cup my face. "Shall we head back home, Mrs Shelby?" he asked a twinkle in his eye.

* * *

The shine was shining on my face as I woke. Blinking against the sun, I tilted my head to the side glancing at Tommy. He was sat up, cigarette hanging from his lips, a newspaper opened and leaned against his legs and a cup of tea in hand.

I almost giggled at the cup of tea.

It was hard to imagine him drinking tea, he often refused it when I offered to make him a cup. Licking my lips, I rolled over and pressed a kiss to his lips before climbing out of the bed, quickly pulling on my robe and slipping into my slippers.

"You look tired," Tommy said, pulling his cigarette from his lips and tapping it on the ashtray by the bed. I glanced at him over my shoulder, giving him a cheeky smile.

"I wonder why that is, Mr Shelby."

"Always complaining, Mrs Shelby," he mumbled, watching me as I pulled a dress out of his wardrobe and a clean set of undergarments. Ada and Polly had brought a few of my dress over the day before the wedding so I wouldn't have to keep borrowing Ada's clothes.

"Have you had breakfast?" I asked, slipping a curl behind my ear as I contemplated getting dressed now or after breakfast. Perhaps it would be best to get dressed. I'm not sure Tommy would appreciate me wandering around the house in my nightclothes, especially with the shop being opened. There was no rest for the wicked even on a Sunday.

"Not yet," he replied, going back to read the paper as I quickly set about getting dressed. "I had words from some of the boys, our house will be ready in the middle of the week."

"That's fast," I muttered, surprised. I thought it would have taken a long time to finish the house, considering what he wanted doing to the downstairs.

"Only the upstairs, the downstairs should take a couple more weeks." Tommy glanced up at me as I leaned on the bed, pressing a kiss to his check.

"I'm going to help Polly out with the boys." I looked around the room, remembering what Tommy had said last night. Things were about to change around here, they were about to get dangerous. "I'll see you downstairs," I muttered, quickly leaving the room and rushing downstairs.

John's boys were running around as usual, with both Finn and Polly shouting at them to sit down. John was sat at the table, his head resting on his arm as he sat there a cup of tea on the table in front of him, but his eyes were closed. Arthur was sat at the table too, but his head was down, and he was snoring. He was still wearing his suit from last night and I guessed he had slept at the table.

Ada was nowhere to be seen and I had a feeling she was with Freddie, she'd snuck off as Tommy and I were leaving last night, a bright look in her eyes that told me she was sneaking off to be with Freddie.

"Aunt Ellie!" Jacob shouted, running to me with a large smile on his face. I caught him and lifted him into a hug, feeling the warmth as he wrapped his arms around my neck and pressed a sloppy kiss on my cheek.

I smiled into Jacob's hair as I wrapped him in my arms, ignoring the looks Polly sent me. Now that Donnie had taken over the care of Paddy and I was going to be teaching, I would miss the feel of a baby in my arms. Would it be possible for me to already be carrying Tommy's child?

Did I want a child so soon?

I huffed out in annoyance, shifting Jacob in my arms as I shook my head. Why was I so bothered about being with child? I would love any child I had with Tommy. I just guess I wanted some time with it being the two of us before we had any children. I wouldn't mind if I was already pregnant, but I would rather we waited.

"You alright, love?" Polly asked, taking Jacob from me and ushering me into one of the chairs at the table.

"I'm fine, Pol, just thinking," I replied, taking the cup of tea she set in front of me and sipping on it.

"Your grandfather wishes to speak with you and Tommy before his train back to London, he said he'll be here before lunch," Polly said, setting a plate of eggs and toast in front of me. "He would he would have spoken to the pair of you last night, but you snuck off without telling anyone." There was an amused accusing tone to her voice and I could feel myself flush. It was true, we had left without telling anyone, but it was our wedding night. "It bet you had more fun here than you did the whole night at the farm."

"Polly!" I exclaimed, waking both John and Arthur. Arthur slammed his head on the table, swearing out in pain as he slipped from his chair onto the floor. John spilled the tea over his lap, jumping up as the liquid coated his trousers.

"What's happening?" Arthur asked as he tried to pull himself up off the floor only to fall back on his arse. He must have drunken more after we left last night.

"It's about time you woke, I've been trying for an hour now," Polly said to him, giving him a pointed look as she set a plate in front of him. "Tommy will be down soon, and you better be ready to leave, the pair of you," she added, glancing at John as well.

I knew that when Tommy got down here they'd be going into the shop and setting their plan with Graves into action. He told me a few things about what was going to happen, but I knew he wanted to keep me safe by not involving me as much. He'd kept much from me when he told me the plan, but I was thankful he'd at least told me something.

At this point, I knew more than anyone besides Tommy and I felt slightly happy he'd confided in me and no one else.

"I'm going to take the boys for a walk, but I'll be back before lunch," I told Polly as I rose from the table and ushered the boys to get the shoes and coats on.

* * *

"What?" I asked, looking at Papa and then at Tommy as we sat in the kitchen for lunch. Polly was sat smirking as if she knew what Papa was going to say and I suppose she did. It makes senses now about what they were talking about last night.

"The Estate is yours. Your grandmother wants to move into the London Manor and I've agreed it's better for the both of us. Your grandmother wants to get away from everything and it's closer to the office for me," Papa said, a smile on his face as I turned to Tommy shocked at what we'd been told.

"But it's your home, Papa, we couldn't take it from you," I said, leaning on the table a little confused.

"It's been on my mind for a while now, Elsie, the estate is too big for your grandmother and me, but you're married now and soon they'll be children running around. You need the house more than us, plus, it's your birthright to inherit the estate, I've just decided to give it to you now instead of when I die," Papa explained, chuckle as I fumbled for something to say.

"Umm, I'm not sure if I'm okay with this," I muttered biting my lip. Papa was implying that he was moving to London. That was hours away from me. What am I supposed to do without him here? "What do you think about this?" I asked Tommy, wanting to know his thoughts. As my husband, it was his choice on where we lived. We'd just started renovating the house two doors down.

"You don't have to move in today, I heard you already bought a house on this street. It's just an option for the future," Papa said answering for Tommy. Tommy nodded in agreement as if agreeing with Papa.

"Alfred's right," Polly stated inserting herself into the conversation, "stay here for a couple of months and perhaps move in when you have your first child." I could hear the silent  _which could be sooner than you think_.

"The estate will also be beneficial with the barn and Tommy can use it when meeting our wealthier business partners," Papa added to which Tommy once agreed to.

"Seems like you've thought this out," I muttered shifting in my chair. Why hadn't Tommy given me an answer yet? "What are you thinking?" I asked my husband, wanting to get his thoughts on this.

"I think it'll be good. We can move in whenever you're happy to do so," he said, glancing around the kitchen keeping his eyes off me. I felt like he'd already decided what to do.

"Look, you don't have to decide now, but I need to be going. Daisy and Samuel are at the estate with the others, the house will always be open to you both if you decide to move in," Papa said rising from the table.

I rose as well, going to him and wrapping my arms around him. I pressed a kiss to his cheek holding onto him tightly.

"I don't want you to go, Papa," I whispered so only he could hear. I squeezed my eyes shut not wanting to cry.

"It's okay, sweetheart, I'll be a phone call away and you can visit anytime you want," he muttered back, running his hand over my back. I nodded against his chest giving him a slight squeeze before stepping back. I bumped into Tommy as he stood behind me, his hand resting on my hip. "You take care of her, Thomas," Papa added to him, his voice turning stern as he spoke to my husband.

"I will, Alfred," Tommy replied, giving Papa a nod as Papa pulled on his coat.

"You're coming to visit next weekend, right? We have that business meeting on Saturday, you'll be coming down Friday then?" Papa asked, directing his question to Tommy. I could remember Tommy saying something about his meeting in London. I was going to visit May while he went.

"We'll take the train Friday afternoon after Elsie finishes at the school," Tommy said. Papa nodded, glancing at Polly before looking at me.

"I'll have a car waiting for you, it'll bring you to the manor and we can have a late dinner." Papa gave me another smile, his hand taking mine and giving it a squeeze. "I best be off; the train won't wait for me."

"I'll walk you out," Tommy said, letting go of me and walking with Papa out of the house.

I glanced at Polly, wondering what had happened in the last few minutes. I wish she would have told me about all this before Papa arrived. I know it was meant to be a surprise but I'd rather she told me, so I wouldn't have acted like a fool.

"Well, would you look at that," Polly said pulling me away from my thoughts. I glanced at her, furrowing my brow in confusion. "Two houses and you've been married less than a day."

* * *

**Thank you for reading xx**


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